My weakness is rabbit holes. My drug is truth.
Diving deep in the world of wonder on my own
I look at the seeds and shadows of reality known.
Few seekers of truth, a lonely journey it is,
BUT when I find a gem, I run around, a child pleased.
Show my treasure, share it with all who will play,
But alas, what I find, looks like a nothing they say,
Uninteresting, appalling, invisible, alien, not grand,
Not fitting a box square, brown, no pictures, bland.
Then... I see a glitter in an eye, a wonder at my gem
And I know, another child, not one of them.
My weakness is rabbit holes. My drug is truth.

Fractured parts of me I need to find,
Lost in space, in time, inside my mind.
What I'm looking for I know not
The mess I live with is all I've got.
Like the love for my children I long to love me,
But how can I if hidden parts of me flee
Into darkness hidden behind fears and regret,
From the time of childhood, demons in stone set.
Do I have light, is there something to find
Or will it be dark forever in my mind?

I looked at myself today,
Everyone around me, far away.
Skin on skin, warm touch I desire
**** these gloves to hell's fire.

The mirror today made me aware
the pieces missing inside of me,
like precious treasures lost, forgotten
Over time maybe my complexion rotten.
And perhaps the mask I wear today
Is to keep myself from myself away.

Far in the back where I cannot see
Hides out fractured parts of me.
All alone angry and scared,
They cannot help but make me impaired.

If I could find all myself and say
I accept you, you're OK
Then other people will join in song
And dance with me all day long.

Towards the edge you push me,
my feet slipping, tired, weak.
Over the edge is much more pain
than what I've lived here on the plain.
Yet you push, destroy you will,
all I have till all is nil.
And in the canyon's darkness deep
I cannot from harm my loved ones keep:
the demons will come out to play,
Death, destruction will have last say.

I see it coming, a demon from hell,
Seducing you with his words, a spell.
I shout and shout, my throat bleeds
As I witness the fruition of his seeds.
Mesmerised, proud, lust abound,
You have all the answers you want found.
You said yourself that history defines,
Yet your roots you ***** on shrines.
I shout, still, with no voice to hear,
Now all I do is wait and fear.

Patiently she waits, the shadow of mine
till the sun falls lower over the line.
Reason leaves as despair takes hold
My warmth and light giving way, it's cold.
Then, only then, does the shadow appear
with vision of destruction of all things dear.
Seduction's soft touch flirting with talk
promising my desire, without hurt I can walk.
Remove the grip on your heart remove all,
Destroy all bridges, lest again you fall.
The shadow whispers repeatedly, again again,
My light fades my love hurts, vitality drain.
And finally her wisdom I embrace, it's clear,
I have to ******, destroy what is dear.

Just one kind word, just one, from you,
Burning with loneliness, a drop will do.
Peace evades me, sleep I know not,
Alone in a pit, heart and soul rot.
Vultures around, with hate I would ****,
I see their mocking eyes, they wait still.
There is no escape, I built this cage,
Bound by my sins, bound by my rage.
Peace I seek, abandoned I am
In  a desert, a storm, alone, barely man.