And amidst all the darkness and hatred that floats about us in our midst, there seems to be a light. A sheer, uncompromising light that helps you glow. You. You and your amazing beauty, your radiance, your sweet bask. I feel warm when I am with you. The mystery of who you are or where I found you is just as ambiguous as your feelings are to me. I feel warm in freezing temperatures, cool in tropical climate. There is no feeling quite like it. Calm. Serenity. Balance. Mother of God in all of it's forms. A banquet for all five of my senses. A calm silent tear falls from my face as I write this, as I wish I could be wiping away yours. A silent farewell to thee my lady, my love as I dream pleasant dreams of how one day you will be in my arms. Silent. Soft. My beloved white angel in the arms of this dark, ill tempered demon. I give you sweet dreams, my dear. Whoever you are.

Oh, no one seeks a partner with a beautiful mind.
It is all beautiful bodies and *****.
A girl with no other options seems to be what I'll find,
and it really makes me sick.

I could paint a picture of serenity and love
in a vast and epic view.
I seem to have none of the above
and I want you to have mine too.

Call me bitter.
Call me jealous.
Call me what you will.

None seem to understand what I am getting at,
but hopefully soon you will.

Let me take you back a decade or so.
A young, fat, spotty faced teen
thinks one day he will sometime know
love and *** through another person instead of sticky magazines.

He wastes his time looking for another soul
for years upon years until he is no longer a boy.
His short, wide ***** finally finds a hole
and it brings him great joy.

He thought *** was great hoping to do it again,
although for a while it didn't much to his chagrin.
He caves in and spends money on ill gotten ******,
sadly he he gets bored and quickly finds it to be a filthy chore.

At his wits end, suicidal and sad
wanting nothing but a woman's love,
things were looking bad
until something came out of the darkness, an angel from above.

She was young and beautiful,
he could not deny.
The good times were bountiful
and he never told a lie.

He was happy and angst free for around 8 months
but the angel was a traitor and he was a putz.
A drunken ******* with no remorse.
The end had come and run the course.

Call it sad
Call it tragic
Call it what you will

I now understand it
and I hope you do too.

Now he travels this barren sea
of bros and hos and endless stupidity
with no hope, no cares,
no *** and no love.

Wishing he could do something with another
instead of hate.
He needs a new lover.
He needs a new mate.

"****!" he shouts with a frog in his throat,
"Why can't I be happy while everyone gloats?"
In is defense, life isn't quite fair
to those without muscles and dye in their hair.

And now all he does is silently weep,
listen to Elliott Smith, and shout in his sleep.

Call him an emo
Call him a loser
Call him what you will.

The moral is for you to quit being arrogant and judgmental, slutty and stupid.
There are men and women out there who wish they could.

Bang bang
**** ****
Aw ****
I work it through a hose
and **** out the deluge
Cardboard houses
and razor **** straps
And my eye is dilating
as my heart races
I explode in a rage
Of wind and acid
A blow tube in my vein
A blackened eye
A cigarette between two lips
A train exiting the station
'All aboard!
**** **** yeah!
I do k-k-k ******* and k-k-k crystal **** and k-k-k ******.
Blasphemous cheese
Black holes
Brown eyes
Poopie trim
Unwinding ecstacy
Driven by speed anger and vengeance
Running behind the booming
Urination of oil and sludge
From my tail pipe
Blue Velvet
Black cake
Purple hoses
Red tubing
Nose bleed
Big cheese
**** me
Venom
Cruelty
Sage wisdom
Magic sage
Marijuana
Marijuana
Marijuana
I am not jesus
I am just a ******
I am just a ******
I am just a creep
a ******
a cheat
a lie
a ****
a cheap little ****
****!
**** away.
Blow up!
AHHHHHHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Al­l play and no work makes Jackie boy lazy.
Rage
Rage
Death
End this brain flow!

BANG!

Anger bleeds
as I rise from my tomb.
A stranger needs
the cancer out of her womb.

The meat rots at the foot of the banshee.
A ****** smiles as HE becomes the victim.
Realization is worth a thousand prayers.
Welcome home.
Death.

Less violence
More silence

A tear rolls from my eye
As I silently wonder why
This aching pain
Of which you are to blame
Consumes me on this day
On this bittersweet bed on which I lay

No words can keep my sadness
From flowing from my fingers
Onto this platform on which I type
This poem,
this writing,
these chicken scratches
Will serve as nothing but ephemeral reminiscences
Of what joy you used to bring me.

We can't (couldn't) keep going
We have no one to blame but ourselves
It is time to keep on trucking
Move on
And hope for someone/something new

It is a brutal, grim, meat hook realization that we are not good for each other and it is very hard to accept.
I think, 10 years from now we may either look at this point in our lives as either nothing but a flight of fancy or something we had that we were not able to contain very well that was at times equally magical and horrid.
A deep Fear surrounded our relationship and there was not enough Support from either side to make it last.
Things fade.
Time has a way of showing how Stupid and Miserable everyone was.
You fell in love with a drunken *******.
I fell in love with a **** disguised as a fallen angel.
Looking back one year, we never would have thought this is how we would be spending the anniversary of our first kiss.
Our first moment.
We were crazy.
We still are.
I don't want resentment anymore.
I don't want your love.
I just want acknowledgement today.
I want you to find someone in your school that reminds you of me in one form or another and give him a hug, because you need it, I need it and judging who he reminds you of, he probably needs it to.
I will acknowledge you today in the only way I know how.
Inebriation whilst listening to Elliott Smith.
May I never do it again.
This is my send off.
Jackie
Be careful.
I still care about you.
I wish you nothing but the best.
If I didn't I wouldn't have written a poem and a brief essay today.
Have fun with life.
Now I can be happy.
This is a fitting end.
Resolution is mine.

No violence
Just silence

One year.
It doesn't seem that long.
One year.
I think hard while writing this song.

We were so happy then
deep in the thralls of lust.
It was so much better then
when we weren't just echoes in the dust.

One year.
I'm not much of a writer.
One year.
The past was so much brighter.

A week had past
until we fell in love.
I wished it could last
until our spirits rose above.

One year.
This song is almost done.
One year.
I can't say I didn't have fun.

Now it's gone
and all I can say
is I'm sad I'm done.
I'm sad we drifted away.

Let's stay amiable.
Let's keep in touch.
Let's not end up in shambles.
Let hope shine when there isn't much.

Happy anniversary
Happy anniversary
Happy anniversary
Happy anniversary

Meat for sale.
****** meat.
Face bled pale,
oh what a treat.

Pound of flesh.

Skin drying from a hook.
****** scalps top pretty dummies.
I am trying to read a taxidermy book.
Maybe stuffed bodies can make me some money.

Pound of flesh.