I remember the first time
*** sold broken promises,
signed with dreams and
sealed with kisses.

Feeling special
was all we wanted;
removing loneliness
from the room. The first time
we consummated our affection
in that single dorm room.

I said "I love you,"
She reciprocated by
sleeping with someone else.
Happiness conceived
in my bed of imaginations
disappeared
like shadows in the dark

She returns,
Above the hollows,
Believing change
Is something
And nothing.

She weeps,
Beneath the firmament,
Believing hope
Is meaningful
And meaningless.

Her tears
A thousand
Snowflakes.

Thoughtless winds
Fragmented
A butterfly’s wings.

Salt air
Clearing away obscurity
Revealing a lost love
Waiting on jagged stones
Dulled by her patience

Her endless adoration
Flowing like ocean waves
Crashing against my soul
Wanting winds draw me towards her
Closing the gap created by time

Fresh sand
Beneath our feet
Erase our broken footprints
From long ago

Our spirits intertwine
Within a forgotten embrace
Drawing the heavens
Into sunset

We are so afraid to live without;
conditioned to live within.

Position unrecognized on the
plain of existence.

We are beaten by the words of men;
overwhelmed by the confrontation.

Vernacular misled innocence
into the pit of fallen souls.

We are afraid of death;
we are afraid of life.

Stricken by the truth
deceived by the lies.

Promise me
Forever;
Lie with intent
To love eternity.

Feign the strength of
A god,
Hold the weakness of
A mortal.

Never let “love” slip
From this deep caress;
Not a glance be remiss
From the touch of affection.

Let our souls portray
Light, in the darkness.

Cold winds killing the breath of life;
Lands saturated with the bones of the dead.
Pondering the meaning of so much destruction;
Touching the spirits of mindful watchers
Gazing at the signs.

Thieves waiting for the house to empty.

Words buried beneath poignant sensations
Hidden from the living;
Wishing to resurrect sentiments to share
With the deceased.

Death promised the caterpillar its wings.

Sleep stolen in the midst of regrets;
Situations ferried by the unexplained
Within the fog of nightmares.

Remembering her spirit
Leaving without saying “goodbye”.

Breathless words
Eulogized upon a
Stone.

Flashes of light
Illuminating shadows
Undisturbed.

Emotions lost
Within the unrelenting
Downpour.

Her restless spirit,
Laying next to his
Broken body,

Feeling the cold
Sleep of a heartless
Dreamer.

My life is a story of déjà vu; I sit and review the timeline, the dots along the fading epoch share similarities within the clusters. I draw a line at the points of change and the clusters remain unaltered. No matter where I go; no matter who I am with, my reality is always the same; I wish I could remove the blight that is my hidden curse.   I can’t find my good fountain pen; my blood is losing its circulation. There are dilemmas on the menu, a feast for those who once hungered with ambition. Grinding my teeth in frustration from the disappointments in the room; these expectations gained are those opportunities lost.  So  many wanting so much for so little; history embedded within my skin.  The weather is getting colder but it doesn’t feel like December.

Thinking back towards my childhood, remembering those tiny moments that broke my spirit. Conformity, the pressures of this square peg to fit into those round holes; barriers that put my agility in stasis forcing my mind to endure constant pummeling from both friends and foes. I was too afraid to stand up and embrace confrontation; those “reindeer games” that I didn't know how to play.

I believe, everything happens for a reason, even when the reason is ignorant. The days become years, rolling with the changing seasons yet the moments mimic one another. Surely there are lessons to learn within the complexity of triviality, the child becoming the adult still tethered to burden of *******.

There’s this feeling of déjà vu again; the journey is filled with course corrections, navigation through expectations and recommendations to appease values not my own. The plaguing sense of accommodation to avoid confrontation becomes the eulogy at my funeral procession.  Maybe it’s time to stop moving and let that thing I am most fearful of pull me into the center of chaos; to sit in the belly of the whale and let it all go.

Youthful exuberance shattered;
Glittering shards of glass
Beneath a pool of dying wishes
Flowing into the hollows.

Reading the wall’s inscriptions,
Yearning for felicity promised
At the vista’s edge.

Aspirations discarded;
Craving simplicity of bread…
Expectations deserted
In the wake of sudden exodus.

Wishing, for one night,
The motion of time
Would simply hold still.

He took his finger to write
A poem on the dusty window glass
His thoughts lost within the afternoon
Sunlight; mesmerized by the kaleidoscope
Playing with his childish inhibitions.

The days carry the essence of grand fatigue;
I once knew a good judge of character,
whom the recipients of righteousness
called a friend.  

He collapsed within the fog,
leaving a rare delicacy for me to consume.  
I savored the taste of blatant bitterness,
refusing to regurgitate the morsels
I quickly digested.  

Now I've got this nagging cough
and wheezing in my chest.
The plight of mad science
to taint my good blood cells
with the disease of contaminated cytoplasm.

I am becoming numb
to its brutal effects
and I am frightened.

I saw her face again, under a
different circumstance; memories
still lingering within the fragrance.

What we had was but a diversion;
the acquaintance of familiarity
at a fork in the road.

Our attraction was the means
for her mental distraction from
the cuts and abrasions inflicted
by so much broken glass.

The ***** of affection; skin
bleeding from the vulnerability.
My heart believed what
her words conceived.

The autumn breeze became
a deep winter freeze; waiting
for the spring thaw, in silence.
Our connection severed by expectations
the distance to great to overcome.

She turned the other way,
someone new caught her eyes.
Love was the guarantee;
the promise of our demise.

Another night spent tossing-and-turning; hot and cold sensations keeping pace with the quiet commotion. Not sure what I am wrestling with; my mood is fine but there is a feeling of twisted darkness within.  I am aware of the turmoil this season brings; seeing the pieces of animosity gathering as a pile of dust around me. I promised to end the plight of expectations, this lie brought contentment and unconscious abrasion; the attempt to write my way into the light seems futile.

Gray skies poised for rain yet, not a drop falls.

Gentle breeze becoming
A violent storm;
Listening to the whispers
Within the rain.
Setting myself adrift
On, the crashing waves;
Allowing the currents
To take me…wherever.

They awoke on tissue paper
misbegotten feelings exposed
on the fine linen, the taste
of the sun had lost its flavor

Forgotten were the reasons
to remember the beginning;
they failed to connect
the words to their meanings.

The situation so egregious;
Time became too expensive,
It was just a moment
for their convenience.

The crisp chill of a late November evening;
leaves falling on the aging soil as I watch
the sun descend six feet below the horizon.
I stare beyond the astral plane hoping to see her;
my imaginations become infractions against decency.
Our secrets remain in these old pockets despite the demons
standing beside me. The taste of ginger lingers on my lips;
my hand bleeds from the tight grip on a rose that bears her name.
I miss the smell of her skin and the glimmer in her eyes;
I long to see her smile.

In the midst of a feeding frenzy
the hungry masses consuming
pieces of my flesh and bones.

It hurts, to see
portions of my essence
ripped away, chewed and spit out;
my blood dripping from their mouths.

They are killing me
but I refuse to die.

Silence disturbed me;
calamity throughout the night.
Overwhelmed by absence,
I kept waiting, hoping it
would return.

Time tormented me; my eyes
played peek-a-boo with
the clock. My perceptions
played tiddlywinks with
my sanity.

One day, I will forget
the touch of dreams;
I miss it greatly. The way
my body feels when we
are connected.

Sleep was nothing but a myth;
nightmares ruled the day.

Vocabulary limited to an apology,
strength dwindled beneath
the weight of pity.

It was a slow progression
on broken glass
towards the darkened room;
insidious laughter cackling
from within the demise.

The smell of ******* and bureaucracy
induced violent convulsions;
the mental walls came tumbling down.

Tonight, he arrives hoping to find
Her waiting; the rooms are empty,
The windows covered.

For so long, he left the lights on
Believing she would return to take up
Residence in this place now abandoned.

Every night he recalled those moments;
The eve of a new season bringing silence.
Feelings of solace lost in the fading twilight.

For so long, he avoided the darkness
Hoping her absence was a momentary lapse
In time; realizing that his faith is misplaced.

Tonight, he concedes; removing the images
From the walls, placing a kiss upon
The lips of a dream.

It’s been four years to the day;
the image of her face barely remains.
Her scent is becoming faint;
the desire to find her is fading away.

An open window reveals
a chilling breeze; yep,
it's cold outside.

The air chaps
lips and hands;
rough to touch.

The familiar
smell of precipitation
precedes a tear drop.

The downpour smears
a salty message;
notions of ill intent
dripping from the paper

Resting against the bookends
Musky pages and emotions penned
Blurry vision within the morning light
Our dreams have come to an end

Watching a moth burn
Within the candle’s  flame.

Devils laughing at the fool
Believing in the fairy tale.

My thoughts, planted
within our future;
this vision of fulfillment
taking away the pain of absence.

Your silhouette wrapped
in the sheets of a warm goodnight;
the hope of tomorrow resting
upon my chest.

My imaginations
once sustained me;
paling in comparison
to your soul next to mine.

As you sleep,
I am listening to the desires
within your dreams.

The breaths of your emotions,
in harmony, with the early
morning rain.

My heart beats with joy;
this great delight when
you will say to me,
"Good morning."

Haunted memories against
this restlessness; my eyes
searching for signs of
certainty.

Frightened by
the careless natures;
feeling my hope
constricted by the angst
of dilemmas.

Thoughts tilting away
from the season; my pulse
quickening within
the lapse of time.

Darkness mocks my search
for the light; enchanted
dreams lost within
this ambiguity.

I walked through the empty lot
noticing the depression of time;
street lamps flickering within the subtle
breeze of the late evening.

My hands were numb from the cold and ash;
these pockets lost their warmth.
The sky forgot to welcome
the moon; it’s light lost behind
the cloudy indigo.

Something touched my face, the moist
drops of condensation; nighttime mist
upon this abrasive skin. The feeling
brought my lips towards a smile, because
someone new was at the horizon.

Quiet nights spent lying on a bed of nails,
feeling the ****** of tearful dreams.  
My conscious mind whispering judgment,
telling me that it can never be;
a broken heart, denying its true feelings
for the sake of expectation.

A lie meant to build barriers,
to prevent me from seeing the beauty
of the possibility.  
These quaking hands touching the pieces of hope,
tiny wisps escaping within the evening winds.
My intrepid spirit refuses to accept fate,
no longer believing in destiny.

Tonight, I will test the unseen;
to evoke the musings of the universe.
At this moment,
I am surrendering the impossibilities
and believing one day, you will be mine.

A cup of hot tea
An evening with a good book
Call me tomorrow

Specs of afternoon sunlight
touched the thoughts of a last wish.
A dancing beauty hoping to kiss
the morning star before it fades
to dusk.

Her words were sweeter
than any kiss.

She described happiness as
the point of illusion, a subconscious
desire for reasons to live.

The sunset against
the foggy sky.

Darkness from an unexpected storm
left her grieving the loss of
the sun.

Hearing his distant voice;
the fading melody serenading
her tired spirit.

She longed for a mature relationship
falling for him because he met her
needs; his departure leaving
imaginations to fulfill
her vacated desires.

A light breeze rustles
the stars; falling upon
the night.

Death gave the caterpillar her wings
to greet happiness in the clouds.

My mind is
Processing
The world in a very
Surreal kind of way

Maybe it’s
The smell of
Forgotten rain

The sight of
Dirt washed roads

Maybe it’s
That overcast
Feeling

Brought on
By Monday

Reflecting as I watch
the changing tides along
the shores of black sand.

I wish we didn’t exist
within the emptiness;
sleeping next to
painful memories
exasperating the void
we so desperately
want to fill.

Seeing the sunrise
in your eyes; the morning
glory in your heart.

I whispered your name
in my dreams hoping
the benevolence of time
grants me a moment
to share with you
the desires my soul
laid bare.

Celestial bliss is where
you have taken me.

No more tears,
no more storms;
my contentment
my elation, I
wait for you
to be next to me.

I love you.

This beautiful doppelgänger
from a twisted era, arrived
beneath the harvest moon.

Pheromones of fond memories mingling
with the taste of bad dreams;
the breath of life deceiving
death for a minute.

Choosing to stay within
the confines of infatuation;
feasting on imaginations,
savoring the taste of possibilities.

Mortal flesh wounded, again;
those scars from yesterday
reopened by the blistering
kisses of misrepresentation

I stand before the early morning light;
squinting to see the hope
promised on the horizon.

Shadows from the pillars of salt
behind me; a multitude of errors
seeking my attention.

All the fallen stars buried
beneath the wasted wishes;
their tombs unmarked and broken
by good intentions.

The black rose I carried tightly
within my palm has died from the suffocation;
I’m afraid to let it go,
hoping it can be resuscitated.

The stench of stubbornness on my flesh;
our hands no longer touching, our lips
no longer tasting the moments.

Always and forever...
etched in loneliness.

Morning light obscured by the frosted memories;
time carries no sympathy for the remorse of
seconds traveling within my shivering hands.

I dream of sleep.

Attempting to free my mind of thoughts
by staring at the sunless horizon. Taunted
by cliches; these menageries clouding
the moment.

I long for sustenance.

The refrigerator is full of food
yet, I am starving to death. Night
comes quickly, my body huddled in
fear of being alone.

I laugh.

This season will inevitably change
so I wait, patiently, for the next.

The love ink has for paper
seeking that perfect union
like a couple united in matrimony.

The desire paper has for ink
wanting to feel its flow
gliding the curves along its surface.

Ink touches paper
a sensual path of expression
fulfilling a dream.

The virginity of the paper
surrenders unconditionally
to the ink's fullness.

Giving birth
to written words
for the world to see.

He stared into the eyes of Persephone
Mesmerized by the reflections concealing
A broken spirit; those beautiful
Blue eyes drawing in his
Struggling soul.

Doubt polluting clean air;
His instinct deceived by
Her notions of favor.

Intimacy shared within their
Conversational delight exposing
His veins, sliced by her
Blades of desire.

She was unresponsive,
Numb to his plasma discharge;
Darkness chased away the light
Night consumed his day.

So much calamity beneath
The surface of serenity.
Absence of closure; misinterpreted
Memory lapses. Broken beginnings
irreparable; shattered petitions
Severing their nerves.

Scent of pain and sorrow
On the sheets; raindrops
Collecting on the glass.
Inhibitions washed away
By drizzling expectations.

He wants to send her a rose,
A small token of hope
In the midst of demons.

Morning light strays
Across her weary eyes
Feelings quietly disappeared
Along with the night

Her hand touches
Abandoned sheets
Emptiness scars her soul

Unable to face the sun
She lays her head upon
Satin memories as
His scent upon her pillow
Reminds her of the reason
To smile

Twisted dimensions
settling upon
the straight and narrow;
deities and mortals
devising agendas
neither understood
nor abandoned.

Truths and lies hanging
from a moon sliver
feigning cosmic hope
wrestling with the ideals
of sleepless fanatics;
lullabies of the insomniacs
seeking answers.

Before the day began,
I waited in the shelter
Away from the wandering souls.
My eyes transfixed upon the rays of dust
Penetrating the walls; in the midst of the shadows.
Those misty pieces of memories, scattered upon
The ground, an ode to a fading season;
My heart rejoiced.

This young Jamaican
Pressing her heart against my soul
The taste of Patois from her lips
Crushing the salty vexation

The melody of her imagination
Songs of wanting and familiarity
She connected with me from afar
Desire and passion ignited determination

Love born in winter died abruptly
Words echoing sentiments in the wind
She belonged to the moment
Gone before we could ever be

The white light
no longer burns brightly;
its adoring heat subsiding with
the evening breeze.

Tales whispered beneath
the setting sun;
sentiments basking in deja vu.

The stars revealing truths
we refused to see.
Reflections of eclectic pieces
torn from serenity.

A haunting chill
along these nerves;
the pale sky exposes
misty memories
touching the forgotten horizon.

I love this moment,
sitting deeply obscure
While the obtuse populace
plan their fate.

I get to think of her.

Thinking about her toes,
hidden within those little socks.

Dreaming about a rendezvous
to someplace warm; stripping down to our
bare essentials.  

Naked along the trinity, pure forms
pressed against each other; feeling
the skin of consciousness shedding
to reveal our smiles.

Lately,
I wonder if
she has grown
weary of me; maybe
occupying her time
with second thoughts.

Our moments
seem lost within
distractions, we seem
content with the trail of
unbroken silence.

Sometimes,
I wonder if
she wants someone else;
maybe my instincts are clouded
by my insecurities.

It feels like
the anticipation
has worn off; as though
the sound of my name
no longer matters.

If only I could stare
into her gorgeous
green eyes
and bare my soul.

He sits there
Hoping she will
Say something

She says nothing
Hoping he will
Say something

He sits there
Quietly observing
The way she pretenses
Her thoughts
Erratically

She says nothing
Listening to his silence
Create a vocabulary of
Unspoken words

His sits there
Silently watching
The way she changes
Her moods
Sporadically

She says nothing
About the text message
She received with
His words of affection

*Meant for someone else

The chill of a foreboding moment,
He feels the night
Casting shades of fear
Within a tearful mind.
Cadence of history
Bringing an end
To his serenity;
A quiet calamity chained
Within his heart.
His spirit despising
The chime of midnight.

I created this place upon the black sand
To feel the contrast against the blue sky.

Windows nothing but hollow places
Displaying the light as it
Passes by.

I listen to the them
Proclaiming the end because
It never comes.

The walls of burning flesh cooled
By her shadow. Revealing
The ink-stained words of my life.

I waited for the rain because
It always does.

Shadows of the past greet a fading patriarch sitting upon the fragile seat of the present.

A season void of exuberance leaving his “inner child” huddled beneath an undressed tree staring at the emptiness left by “disappointment”. Childhood abandoned upon paternity’s deathbed.

A season revealing that child seeking the comfort only “nostalgia” seems to offer. Moments of youth denied by the demands of adulthood.

Shadows of the future rebuking the bitterness the old heart embraces. Consuming sorrow from the cup of Grief.

A season revealing Tomorrow leaving her tears upon his withered cheek. Reflecting on the face of Love lost within a fog. Her poignant touch an old man is no longer able to feel.

A season realizing his unwillingness to change as Death performs last rites upon an old fleeting soul. Guided to the “other-side” by Eternity.

A child set free becoming acquainted with joyful simplicity.