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343 · Dec 2015
Faces
Muse Dec 2015
Who am "I"
As if a personality is a singularity
Am I the Pierot walking the tightrope
Am I the Ghoul eating dead memory
Am I the Well waiting to be fulfilled

The Pierot wears a lovely mask that smiles
But under it he is afraid of falling
The abyss below is one that falls for miles
But when he walks or falls he is alone

The Ghoul haunts the graveyard and battlefields
Knawing at dry skeletal memories
Trying to swallow emptiness that will not yield
As time passes by in a field of headstones

The Well has been polluted for many years
By wishes and secret desires thrown in
All their secrets and wishes ****** onto its ears
It is fullfilled by desires that are not its own

Who am "I"
As if I could find a singularity
As if the Pierot was all
As if the Ghoul wasn't starving
As if the Well wouldn't poison my thoughts
319 · Aug 2016
Devil's Vessel
Muse Aug 2016
Sealed within the metal vessel
Is the beating blood of ancient Devils
Pressing against the fleshy womb
Scratching upon their boneyard tomb

Free us from this prison cell
All the secrets we can tell
Who you are where you belong
Just drag the cold steel key along
The door opens their forms revealed
Crimson Devils names concealed
They shackle the wrists with chains
Torment the vessel with searing pains

One whispers words of doubt
Two draws the life out
Three pukes evil in vessels eyes
Four waits for vessel to die
A painful Death awaits
As the vessel cracks beneath the weight
Broken and beaten it crumbles
318 · Feb 2016
Night Travels
Muse Feb 2016
I remember a dream I had not long ago
I sat with a stranger that I seemed to know
We spoke about the stars and the planets
We talked about Gods and who planned it
We questioned if we are slaves to destiny
We shared the answers of lifes mysteries
Then the darkness cracked releasing light
Our time was up, but we tried to fight
We suddenly realized we've been here before
The he said you were never afraid to die before
So I let go and fell off of the black stone
Through the light and awoke all the answers gone
Muse Aug 2016
The boy enters into the dark Cathedral
An ***** plays a melancholic nocturne
Calling up from the dark depths tendrils
The boys chest pulls and stomach churns
Down the dark church hallways he is pulled
Out an ornate door to a sepia  courtyard
In the center there stands a stone Bull
It creeks and crumbles as he enters the yard

"Let the first trial begin"

The beast it charges rippling with strength
The boy can hardly dodge it's advances
He quickly tires as his power fails at length
He succumbs to it as they take their stances
The Bull runs the boy through his back
Feeling the horn's vile splendorous horror
The boy is newly awakened by the attack
He falls forward to mourn in revel in gore
"The first trial now ends"
The Bulls lust now satisfied returns to sleep
The boy now reborn rises to his sore feet
292 · Mar 2016
A Poem About A Lily
Muse Mar 2016
She sits in darkness dancing with death
A death in her family and a friend last breath

She is afraid of being alone with her thoughts
Thoughts of suicide is all lonliness brought

She is told that she is beautiful by men
Then comes home to a family who contradicts them

She feels hated by her brother and even her mother
A mother who treats her like **** unlike any other

This is the life she's excepted she calls it luck
Bad luck gave her a world where no one gives a ****

She believes her life can't change sufficiently
But I think one day she may see differently

There may be hope when she talks about dreams
Maybe her future isn't as bleak as it seems
280 · Dec 2015
Confession
Muse Dec 2015
She was only a ten year old
Suffering as the cancer took hold
It started to show when she was nine
At the time she still managed to shine
Even though her eye was now lazy
It never bothered the little lady
Her headaches never went away
As she lost her childhood every passing day
She was only ten years old
She lay there as her body turned cold
A summer spent trapped in a bed
In a body where hell was her own head
I think I killed her with my last words
What I whispered was the last she heard
Before she inhaled deeply and started to go
The rattles began and her pulse started to slow
I whispered "I love you; it's okay if you go"
With her birthday approaching someone had to know
So I don't know if this could trigger someone, so warning I suppose.
279 · Jan 2016
Wayward
Muse Jan 2016
I sleep all day to avoid the light
Wasting away the the winter night
Mantras and meditation try to revive
The deteriation of my will to survive
Om gam ganapatye namaha
277 · Mar 2016
In This Prison Cell
Muse Mar 2016
It's getting so hard to see through the haze
Distorting their faces until I avert my gaze
It wraps itself around the mind I call home
Enchanting my eyes to seeing only monochrome
It sits on my chest to eat my dreams at night
So I force my eyes open until they see light
Reserving sleep for the safety of the day
Waking to find I'm wasting my life away
277 · Sep 2016
Untitled
Muse Sep 2016
You can hate me all you want
You can curse my very name
You can spit venom in my eyes
But it won't change a thing

You can scream and cry and taunt
You can yell I'm not the same
You can spread your little lies
But you can't change a thing

I've left you broken
I've left you alone
Words left unspoken
I've been so cold
There's no turning back now
Now I've gone to far
I'll leave you in pieces
To find who you are

You can say it's all my fault
You can say you're not to blame
You can weave all your little webs
But it doesn't change a thing

I've left you broken
I've left you alone
Words left unspoken
I've been so cold
There's no turning back now
Now I've gone to far
I'll leave you in pieces
To find who you are

I can hate you all I want
I can say I'm not to blame
I can spit venom in your eyes
But I can't change a thing

You've been left broken
Who left you alone
Words we left unspoken
I was so cold
There's no turning back now
Now we've gone to far
I'll leave you in pieces
To find who you are

One final question
Before I let go
When I said it was easy
Did it hurt you to know
That I was so cold
262 · Feb 2017
Untitled
Muse Feb 2017
It is the root of all suffering
The poisonous bud blossoming
It's tendril will choke and consume
Reaching deeper leaving no room
The leaves will devour every light
Bittersweet berries a deadly delight
I am the root of all agonizing pain
My poison a potent drug to abstain
My tendrils I will be thy blissful doom
You are that which I crave to consume My leaves will steal your lovely lights
The bitter berries my horrid blight
256 · Apr 2016
Untitled
Muse Apr 2016
Let the rain pour down on me
Wash away the blood on my knees
Because I've been praying so long
And I'm just not that strong
I've waited for heavens light
Waited for it to shatter the night
To sift through these empty eyes
And dig through my sad disguise
I've already fallen from gods grace
And into darkness' silent embrace
To a world of empty dreams
A heart torn apart at it's seams
God lay me down to sleep
With only my lonely dream to keep
Save me from this empty fear
Show me that you are here
Give me one reason to pray
Give me one reason to say
"God save me from my sin"
Maybe then I'll believe again
227 · Mar 2016
Untitled
Muse Mar 2016
I feel like I'm running in place
And when I reach a steady pace
I feel like I always fall on my face

I feel like I've been falling forever
Wondering why I can't get it together
I'm just waiting for it to get better

I just wish it would stop raining
That my dreams would stop fading
Then maybe I could stop my petty Complaining
223 · Aug 2016
Untitled
Muse Aug 2016
Witch of Inferno
Lays dormant in her tomb
Sealed in the impregnable womb
Wrapped in the veils of the Cocoon
To escape the fluttering of small wings
The keepers of souls and lost things
Queen of the night her left eye is the moon
With it she cast this enchantment to hide
The Shadow inside
Child of the stars it's eyes are the world
The Light shone
With it he played this prayer alone
King of the day his right eye is the sun
The givers of souls and secret things
To dance the whispering of slithering
Wrapped in the coils of the scaled ones
Revealed on the shimmering lake
The blessings of being awake
Saint of Paradiso
204 · Feb 2017
Untitled
Muse Feb 2017
I am afraid
I panic as I try to explain through razor blade words that catch in my throat
Each emotion becoming another grotesque indistinguishable note
Sleep no longer grants a repose from the never ending march toward death
It has only served to isolate me when I awake struggling for breath
I can feel the weight on my chest grow heavier with no rest
Like a witch with stones piled on her caving chest
I'm at the edge of the abyss unsure if I should  jump or turn to flee
If I plunge into the darkness will there even be a memory left of me
I am afraid
196 · Jun 2018
My Love
Muse Jun 2018
Why do you carry the weight of the world in your hands
Do you think that I don’t see or I can’t  understand
Please just share the weight of the burdens inside my love

Is the crown you wear upon your head growing heavy
I often fear that it’s weight on you may be deadly
Please I beg just let go of your foolish pride my love

I know you feel like you must walk this road on your own
Don’t you see I am here you don’t have to be alone
I will always be their waiting by your side my love
144 · Sep 2018
Imbalance
Muse Sep 2018
I spend days at a time trying to forget I was his second choice

I hate the way he worships Seth with such admiration in his voice

A ******* paragon an idol to him an affection I could never attain

No matter how hard I try to be equal in his eyes it’s all in vain

I love this man more than any other that’s walked into my life

Being reminded I’ll always be second best just twists the knife

The way he said “When we go to visit him don’t be mad at me”

Filled me with rage and pain what else does he expect me to be

A man who couldn’t love him back will always mean more to him

Than the man who would sacrifice his heart, his life, his limbs
117 · Aug 2022
3 of Swords
Muse Aug 2022
So now I go free from star-crossed crucifixion

A broken heart like broken bones leaves me frail

Woe to be crippled by lost loves malediction

This torturous pain I try to belie to no avail

As if into my chest swords were so cruelly cast

A crown of thorns bound tightly round my head

My truest heart beats desperate to outlast

The purging of loves poison that I had fed

But I feel like this sorrow is swiftly killing me

Like I'm being pulled and torn from within

By Nightmares born from my sweet reverie

And devils oh so eager to punish my sin
And then only a few weeks later he and my friend started talking they asked my permission because they didn't want me hurt and what was I supposed to do tell them no?
114 · Aug 2022
Confessional
Muse Aug 2022
I come to you without pretenses or expectation

My truest feelings displayed unbelied

On my sleeve my truest heart I wear emblazoned

Without posture or playfulness or petty pride

What so entangles my mind when you are near

Like a crown of flowers or thorns wound round my head

Dispelling thought clouding reason subduing fear

Enchanted I wander to follow loves sanguine thread

Marching toward my star crossed crucifixion

Of which I shall gladly endure endless hours

For I seek no cure to remedy this sweet affliction

And with joyous praise fall to your powers
So I'm a little broken hearted rn and decided to move all the poems I wrote for him here so they can just exist
98 · Aug 2022
Enough
Muse Aug 2022
I know you're not ready to give the love I ask

So just hold me steady and let these moments last

Where you are my friend, my hope, my dream

The one to send when fear is pulling at my seams

And I'll do my best and I'll hold my love

Close to my chest and make it enough

Until you can share the same love as me

Just be right there and I'll believe

That if that day can never happen

I'll be okay as long as you're my friend
And when I told him I wanted to be more than friends he said he wasn't ready to be that with anyone rn
97 · Aug 2022
Bargaining
Muse Aug 2022
I know this script may end in tragedy

Yet still I play the role that Eros casts

Following the fragments of future and past

Drawn forth by your entrancing melody

I know you come forth on winds of Chaos

Yet still I desire to dance in your storm

Until our fickle hearts in disdain betray us

For a moment let me know your form

I know you can't be mine and mine alone

Yet still this feeling swirls and swells

So be mine for moments carved in stone

Moments for which my soul would gladly endure hell
But he still warned me I'd get hurt and I still sought something
93 · Aug 2022
Eros
Muse Aug 2022
How I dream to be drunk on your kiss

To be enraptured by dionysian bliss

Free to proceed with unbound desire

To let every touch fill with voracious fire

Stolen from gods and placed in hands

Burning to know your sacred lands

To hear your heart beating in your chest

To feel your lungs fill with bated breath

Your mind your body your soul unveiled

Along with the banes and blessings entailed

Yet for all my wanting I'm filled with fear

If my wish comes to true you'll disappear
I think it hurt more that at times he encouraged my pursuit and dissuaded me from the idea of never

— The End —