i speak of
rampant confusion
that's not
rabid profusion
i speak of
sapping exhaustion
that's not
of debilitation
i speak of
manic depression
that's from
naked manipulation
i speak of
senseless obsession
that's from
candid illusion
and i speak of
fictional annointing
born of
endless seizure and seeking
i speak of
unadulterated reeking
grown out of
staggering imbibing
after stunning rejection
and numbing oblivion
i speak of
endless yearning
endless seeking
endless delusion
endless exclusion
thwarted efforts
dead dreams
and misguided hope
i speak of
...

her frown darkens the still night
and thickens the billowy clouds
till at last the skies glisten bright
with the tears of the mercurial gods
that live in our suffering memories
fall rain fall, then flow water flow
when you go i shall gaze as you sink
in a mock run of my sinking one day

your father was a gambler
and the story of his life
clung to the seat of his pants
and the holes on his knees
your next meal was always
just a deal away on some nights
his hand was rock steady
his steely gaze was cold and firm
and not even the unattired thighs
of a jezebel could distract him
after he had sniffed the money
so you flourished in a home
that was a blooming oxymoron
with a hard-faced survivor
of many knife duels for a father
and a mother with a lovely face
and a mardi gras queen smile
my fickle heart was rather coy
and my tongue was quiet and still
when i should have sung your praises
and extolled your awesome virtues
and your resplendent face in the dusk
faint heart trembles at the altar of her grace
but brave buck walks to his fate with zeal
so i kneel and i meditate your serenity
wrought by art alive in your hungry heart

neither your helipad nor your limos
neither your huge country mansion
nor the famed cellar of vintage wines
in your basement world of wonders
neither your wild and loud wardrobe
nor your collection of fancy silk ties
when it matters most in this world
can make any real difference for us
in our assigned bits of rugged terrain
your fabulous diamonds and rubies
and your green emeralds and pearls
are no more than mere shiny trinkets
before the warmth and camaraderie
exuded by those who still can smile
and still can laugh a deep hearty laugh
in this world of sordid corporations
shady conglomerates and mega deals
you had better be on the lookout for
smooth operators and suave conmen
with fads, facts and figures to sway you
these are the hyenas of today's world
and they will always dissemble if it pays

once upon a drowsy afternoon drowned in the heat of life
we sat upon a knoll playing queen and king in lavender blue
and wilfully waited to be tempted by the horned one to finally feast
upon the intensity of our rampant libidos and our malleable greenness
now these many years later in the warmth of your smoky country kitchen
as you tend the stew for the old man in rimless bifocals and a hearing aid
remember how some dreams died but we lived and learned nevertheless

Shame on you
For making my heart bleed
and shredding my ego
Shame on you
For fleeing from one so true
And making me oh so blue
Shame on you
I’ve been but a shadow
All these besotted years
In the eerie corridor
Of your yawning indifference
Weeping and waning before your disdain
Shame on you
It was never my crown that I wore
When my whole being was all sore
You were my grieving destination
And my putrid dream with a caption
That said I was a loser
Parading in a flamboyant cruiser
Shame on you
For killing the room with dead flowers
Spraying it with bugs that fell like confetti
Just so you’d see me squirm and groan
In the teeming smell of bloodsuckers
Shame on you
I thought I had the right theme for a life
Of surfeit from the largess of the love i thought we had
Shame on you
For poisoning a hope so vivid and alive
You made me beg for bitter morsels from your nightmares
Then ‘took the gap’ to a place where you’d be the story
and I'd be the hapless man who chased a rotten dream
Shame on you
You gave love a bad name

love walked past my gate
and all i had was this hate
frying my insides fiendishly
in a wish spiced with bile
at a sad banquet craving madly
for unending serenity and glee
when love strolled past again
someone else was by her side
and i was forever the chameleon
in fast-changing shades of green
felled by bouts of unabated longing
and whipped into submission by my loss
so i reaped the famished fruit of my cross

these joys are sacred and precious
you partake of them if you're serious
but you best flee if you're just curious
these joys are cosmic and rarefied
they shower you with the sweet abundance
of seasons of plenty when harvests are a surfeit
when you can withdraw into secret places
and there gorge yourself on shapely pleasures
and dissipate in tender exertions on an unmade bed

walk me to the end of my dream
and to the start of my nightmare
lull me to sleep till the break of day
and rouse me into pained wakefulness
show me my sweet hopes in terrible flight
and detach yourself from the woes of my day
as love dissipates into a hallucination
and what was most unlikely takes shape
before my enraptured and unblinking eyes
I dare hope that it is all one huge concoction
but there's no tragedy in being wrong

the howling wind held its breath
the eclipse let drip a few mysteries
the ocean floor stirred like a cauldron
and i heard the faint whizz of a life gone

my heart beat in rhythm to my desires
my lips trembled before the word leapt out
inside i was a freshly-laid egg waiting to be picked
and abroad the wind whispered its open secrets

i knew then what lay deep in my heart of hearts
a sacred word spoken countless times but always new
i knew also that i was a child of new times and concerns
and that i was love's foot soldier because you said so

a heartbreak is the open book
of love's broken promises
that by hook or crook we evade
keeping, and sink in the quagmire
of a misery enunciated by our moans
someone must break your waxy heart
to make you a true lover one day soon

the eclipse in me
    dissipated
and a primeval sun rose
from the depths of my being
you were the reason for all that
      and i celebrated you
with crazy little things:
   i leapt up a tree
  nimble as a cat
and hung upside down
from a supple branch on high
touching the ground again
i went into a crazy spin
till i felt i was too ragged and mean
to fathom incidental mysteries
then you told me things
that made me delirious
and like one fleeing the virus
     i ran around the block
reminiscing about a bleating flock
that could never be contrary
              when
    in the morning haze
    of my clogged mind
freedom was the absence of joy
and joy the nemesis of sadness

once there was a corner shop somewhere here
and a toothless man who smiled from ear to ear
his hardened gums were a vibrant red colour
and his demeanor said he’d been there before,
seen all the wonderful new things in his dreams
and had a foretaste of what was now the present
from him we learned that dreams are a version
of reality tinged with foregone conclusions
today, organized chaos, tomorrow anarchy!
flowers and flower shops shall truly flourish
as we buy old fancies and dispense with surprises
in a brave new world where nothing ever matters
so let the flowers bloom and glisten in the sun
and in showers of rain and avalanches of ruin
as the edifices of conceited man tumble and crash
perhaps we might then glow softly like the petals
of new species of flowers telling the world a word
or two about duplication and replication in time

when the cotton bolls were fluffiest and whitest
we would have a preview of the wealth waiting in the wings
and like spoilt brats pick our destinations and pastimes in transit
to stations that moved us up the ladder in society's hallucinations

we spoke about the white gold elevating us beyond our dreams
and our imagination soared above the almost mythical themes
of poverty fled and riches flared with flair as hard currencies
lay between fingers that had tended the cotton and picked the bolls

but the cotton didn't sell and it was another year of still-births
and stunted fantasies in a land hankering for good living and excess
oh the pain of gratification deferred!

In a polished falsetto
About love gone awry
In bitter word pictures
Painted he the images:
a wild afternoon wind
Her skirts ballooning
As she sent him packing
The sun winked sadly
The milky way chuckled
A brooding hen cackled
And she gave him a smile
That buried him forever
Outside  her true annals
Just as his forlorn song
Faded in the empty distance
And so the sad tale ended
Even as it was starting

whenever i go away and i do so often
i feel like a part of me has stayed behind
and so i linger and keep looking back
at a world that's gone suddeny hostile
you have that dry look that shuts me out
like a smelly wanderer in a glitzy place

after  the showers had stopped
we rushed out our hands cupped
to receive stray drops of sky water
then the games would begin in earnest
run,splash and laugh in the puddles
paper boat races on the meandering rivulets
we rolled in the mud and waited for the inevitable
mother screamed her head off about mud, dirt and disease
then like a chorus of cherubim we broke into happy songs
rain, rain stop! come another day; rain, rain fall again
we want your gift of pumpkins and watermelons
and though we knew it not we had stumbled on paradox
these are the things we used to do in our younger days

plastic money
plastic rice
plastic taste
plastic smile
all fake!

the communes are here again
avant garde artists’ colonies too!
we produce but do not reproduce
everyone knows about the ******
and how it is a preview of heaven
the family is dead, long live the family!

sometimes i sink
to depths of despair
that leave me gasping
for air in claustrophobic spaces
       then i hear a voice calling me
       to rejoin the chorus of life
sometimes i think it's the end
and that i'm finally spiked and dried
no more clinging flesh or sightless eyeballs
just a mounful song swishing through my skeleton
       then i hear a voice urging me on
       telling me to rise up and soar
       into the blue heavens
       where anachronistic melodies play
       on rusty harmonicas trapped in gravity
then sometimes i think i'm dreaming
when life bubbles and is exuberant
in my heart that's full of melodious chants

when i want to be serenaded
i go where i can be persuaded
by the thumping beat of my heart
to dance to the lively beat of yours
you see, my life springs out of you
and always has this vibrant hue
so when i want to pay homage
to life and mystery incorporated
i humble myself and on all fours
lick the life juices of fleeting moments
till i'm hungry and blue no more

The baby yells
and she tells
       him
about the sweets
    awaiting
        him
in the shadows ahead
sweets are mysteries
        she coos
and babies are so cuddly
like warm-blooded teddies
        giggle baby giggle
        drool baby drool
        dribble baby dribble
            kick baby kick
till the sun winks a smile
and the moon shines a lullaby

a natty dresser he was
eight-button jackets
wide-brimmed hats
and designer shoes

hair neatly-combed
nicely patted-down
walked like he wore
a mark of distinction
his peacock plumage
and stand-out gown
were easily his crown

then one lovely day
his tie became mine
said i was a beau now
and must surely shine
lest i get out of step
with the pace of life

and before that mirror
we did the sweet knots
only one thing was left
a bit of stubble on my chin
so i could frown and shave
and be the man about town

uncle long gone
i'm standing here
his woolen tie in my hand
the only thing in my sentimental trove

every time she went gently by
i felt like saying a mellow bye
to friend and foe alike, and to family too
for in all honesty that whistle had me dangling
like fruit about to fall from the mother twig
i heard the enigmatic whistle of the kite
a thin eerie sound that spelt doom to stray chicks
i heard the drone of the horrid ground horn-bill in my heart
and shook in my boots; the birds in my life were portentous
You see, there was never a bird in sight at all
yet the songs were shrill and so distinct they made me fall
the day she came by and i heard the call of a laughing dove
was the day that fire rained in torrents from above
and she was gone for good with all her numinous secrets

imagine a famished beggar at your house,
open your doors and feed him till he's sated

imagine a vagabond on his endless wanderings,
run a warm bath for him where he can soak till dawn

imagine a country lass with smelly undergarments,
give her all the trappings and see her hidden beauty sparkle

imagine the hungry poor hoping against hope for crumbs,
take them to a five-star hotel and make them kings for a day

imagine everyone saying yes to everything worth a yes
and saying no to all things that demean and diminish us,

create a book of convergence where we sign away sorrow and pain,
and let humans with sinewy lust lay their blues to perpetual rest

Owl eater
Fowl thinker
Low growl
High howl
Hades story
Which way
You going

I’m not the type
that thrives on hype
and I’m not lewd or lurid
like life gone grossly putrid
I’m a man that sees through the heart
and does not go through life playing the part
of a roaming spirit let loose among the lambs
My role is to let life roll like a well-made plan
but never to seek the glitz or glamour
that comes alive only in glossy magazines
and among the mesmerized many
True life like love goes on while you fuss
about whether your neighbour has noticed

to you all my good friends through time
i dedicate this poem with loving nostalgia
you each left an indellible mark on me
frankieboy you knew how to duck and feign
and you gave me a blue eye that wouldn't go
dannyboy you were always the funny one
making smelly noises under your armpit
sonnyboy you were the sleepwalking mother's boy
i remember you for being a neat dresser
but each one of you was just a station on my route
to places i thought mattered until i got there
now i'm back to stay, but to whom will i tell my story?
you're all gone now, transported by mother time into time

in this belated realization that it's a raw and cynical age
we search diligently in the rubble for relevance
just as we look where we shouldn't for excellence
and bemused by it all we find that we're in a cage

again and again we lap against the shores
of our sleepfulness as we do our chores
and hope for the echo that tells us move
even if there's no treasure trove promised

at the end of a dream we start another
at the start of another dream there's no bother
about detail or assurance it will happen this next time
it is in the nature of life to keep hoping and struggling

so now that times move quickly towards resolution
and now that contradictions dissolve in revolution
i hear the chiming of a distant bell in the far distance
it bids me move resolutely to my perpetual perch

where i shall crane my neck for metaphorical gold nuggets
So my wild adventurous friend and fellow traveller
let us be off then and be doing and let us truly be deserving
of the adoration and adulation that comes with being a winner

in victories that taste like ash because you begin to wonder
what it was all about and just who it was stole your thunder
it is a perpertual puzzle how everything only lasts a moment
and how we can't quite recall it all even though we would

in and out of my waking moments
drifts this flirtatious apparition
the ghost of a smile on a broken face
i feel the sanctity of my shores breached
by this stranger on my bewildered shore
the sometimes leering face is like a cloud
hovering above me only in a thick crowd
this stranger on my mystified sandy shore
forever tempting my imagination with glee

i'm stting, i'm thinking and i'm wishing
time could have frozen on that wistful day
a cold misty morning in the month of may
a day i discovered how a heart can whisper
and how a stomach can sometimes growl
against  the many who scheme and prowl
as they plot someone's downfall and demise
before it happens the system's alarm rings
an ominous melody about sly deception
i'm sitting here in my sorrow and aloneness
thinking and wishing sweets would come

it seemed she was warm and cuddly
like a lovely song from deep inside
she seemed to be other things besides
and this made him tag along humbly
like a lover sworn to love in eternity
yet drowning in a flood of hollow tiffs
that shred the serenity of a drowsy day
on an evening when  all things were laid bare
for all and sundry to witness cruel truths
about what never was except in our fancy alone

if i could
i would go to the ends of the earth
to see this rare moment
that we can't ever replicate
blaze into infinity
if i could
i would stand under your sunshine smile
on sorry days
when simple things can gladden the heart
and on dreary days
when rain pours down like sorrow
and the sodden ground weeps a river
as hearts are torn into shreds of regret
at the confluence of  life fled and love forsaken
if i could
i would trap whispered wisdom and treasured secrets
to trade for a song on the common market of bitter sighs
where the things we imagine in our wildest moments
are the price we pay for lost times and opportunities
as the broken dreams of many litter the way
to the perches of watch towers  that are forever courting the sky

words quite often lie
but actions are mostly true
now let me this trend defy
though i have no clue
how to start a new fad
i have soiled my purity
with this accursed oddity
in me that assails my schemes
and now i pay the sore price
of fixations and obsessions
so hard the comeuppance

i want you to know dear reader
that i've given up playing the saint
and it's time for a few home truths
i'm  shooting straight from the heart
and though toxic nothing will stop me
bleeding an ocean till i'm done for sure
this time my dripping words will go thud
into that shameless unfeeling love infidel
and i shall know peace of a kind at last
aaah, the beauty and the catharsis!

With a baby giggle
And a shaky dawdle
The toddler advances
As with a dry cackle
And senile posture
A senior citizen true
stretches an arm out
To meet his soul mate
The two are helpless
Against technology

You step out of the shower
       With the sun up on high
and a rainbow rising from your *****
there’s a dream on your cherubic lips
        i smell its fragrance
          taste its flavour
feel its aura awash over me
    and kiss the sweetness
     of your elegant promise
     till the end of a moment
   and the birth of new longings

I want to lick that bit of blue sky
with my eyes; touch it with my pen
before the fumes, the smog, and the development eat it up. I want to drink
its loveliness before the mood fades  and a sick yellow hue pervades the world. I want to be flattened by
its serene loveliness going on and on
into the vistas of unfarthomable time.

wearing his thick jacket and weary gumboots
                 the heat notwithstanding
the man is forever abroad on his strange mission
    his hat is the contraption that covers it all
as he feigns distraction and people call him mad
to live a life that has no surprises, only a pattern
how can they possibly know what he's brewing
or what he intends one blessed day to be stewing
in the big *** of dreams that he tends each day
those who want to know must,like him, be mad
only then will they see what really is in the sea
and how atlantis was a figment of souls hungry
for those unusual things from off the beaten path