the dud man wanted a saint
but she failed his mean test
even after a faint and a feint
with a huge sigh he let it rest
took up his rucksack and left
she cast him  a long wistful look
her slumped pose the picture
of internal dejection and anguish
sharpened by an endless lament
that she'd not shown him his theft
of the aching heart of a  live woman
of vibrant flesh, blood and dreams
she longed to tell him straight
she was not an idea to be analysed
and later discarded like an abused rag
but the unkind distance engulfed him
even as the rays of the sinking sun
blended their gold with his yellow attire
thus she knew as of that unfeeling day
such mishaps were the very fabric of life

In all this illusion
lies a deep confusion
about what I am
and who I am, really,
and when its all said and done
I am just someone who passed by
but never came this way again
In all this illusion
lies a deep confusion
about what my purpose is
and what the bigger purpose is, really
but when it's all said and done
I am just a wanderer on the prowl,
looking for dreams to embrace
and looking for succour
in a world gone crazy with soccer
But, in all this din nobody hears me, anyway
Lord, this life is depraved!

creepy night river awake like a fever
as fireflies glow in furtive morse code
the eerie evening commands silence
in the hollow empty spaces yielded
in sonorous silences by a yawning dearth
of everything that's sacred, pure and sweet
once there was raw laughter and joy here
and weavers wove rich tales of fat worms
for their pampered nestlings afloat on air
once there was life and presence here
but now small spaces abound in this vast absence
of sunshine smiles and catwalk swinging
now it's plovers, owls and night jars galore
as their apocalyptic cries smite the night
like a plague in New Canaan where glory
is never too far away from the surface gloss
of a loveliness kidnapped by the salacious gods
of lewd desires and morbid libidos alive in tales
that are forever testifying to the loud presence
of envious divinities on a free ride upon our egos
everything is gone now but the thunderous silence
and the smiles that lit up our days are now but a memory
of wan looks and faded joys clad in the hollow feelings of pain
and that's all that ever remains when our futile antics are done

it seemed she was warm and cuddly
like a lovely song from deep inside
she seemed to be other things besides
and this made him tag along humbly
like a lover sworn to love in eternity
yet drowning in a flood of hollow tiffs
that shred the serenity of a drowsy day
on an evening when  all things were laid bare
for all and sundry to witness cruel truths
about what never was except in our fancy alone

i thought i was alone
  till i saw the shadow
         behind me
          and how
                it
         trembled
              and
        hesitated
    at each next step
        i knew then        
    that we're never alone
          because
           there's
      always someone
          around

when i think about things
  i remember the flings
and the lazy afternoon walks
and stolen hugs in the dusk
i think about mother
busy in her smoky kitchen
and father with a pipe
in the corner of his mouth
puffing out smoke like a sage
i see grandmother's toothless smile
and hear her sing a happy song
lustily as if there was a throng
dying to hear her yodel
one last time this side of the great divide
and then i think of the girl
in the cheap cotton dress
and how she thought she was taken
although i was no more than a cadet
in these matters of sore hearts and headaches

little bird up on high
out of me tease a sigh
and thrill me till i'm prone
flap your graceful wings
and rise into the blue
little bird heaven-bound
sing your catchy song
but dear please I pray
don't make it too sad
lest the sky weeps
in deep melancholy
and my eyes in reverie
sympathetic, soak the world
with a flood of sad tears