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david badgerow Apr 2020
sitting alone again
watching the day die
or, if not die, drift slowly
to sleep

thinking about nothing
except how the squid's ink squirts
over the eventide, the day's heat erased
by night's dense humid gum

hearing nothing but
the whispered thudder of
moth wings and the poisoned rat's
hot song from behind the cellar door

lighting a fresh hand-rolled
i pretend to float away, above this city,
out into the astral plane in a
cloud of patchouli effluvium
into the benign midnight
under the full sulfur-stained face
of the moon, floating alone
in the charcoal belly
of the night sky
david badgerow Apr 2020
come find me in the lurch
with the dogs beneath the avenues
on barefeet and scars on my knees
arms extended in hypothesis into the
sultry sky, bridging the gulf
between god and myself

i am a prisoner who
spends restless nights staring into the void
my wounds, to all appearances healed-over
open themselves inwardly and leak freely
thru the cavernous expanse of my body
absentmindedly retracing my torment with
the callous pads of my fingers in the dark
dancing over my own flesh like a cold stranger
my lips twist into a grimace and my cheeks flash hot
and wet as a bolt of grief sinks itself down deep into me

i am alone here
lost in listlessness gasping
for breath on this tumbled mattress
alone as i've ever been
with the clang of the bars and
the muted squawk of the captain on the radio
when it rains i am alone with it
alone too out in the sun and grass
and concertina wire
alone with the impatience and courage
particular to the condemned
listening to remote nestlings
howl themselves hoarse in the treetops
searching for the motherbird come to
subdue and nourish them as i am hoarse
and i am searching

oh beautiful mother please find my
withered eaten heart discarded like
a cut flower and sanctify it

my heart breaks again and again
under the reiterated gusts of shame
my memory thrusts against me

come and find me
look down here
because some of us will not see
heaven when we die
instead of tasting the delicious picnics
in paradise accompanied by angelic
flute-and-lute bands we will be caked
in layers of fresh **** constantly
raw sewage on our raw skin with
hairy black cellar rats singing the blues
***** by wild beasts dragged by devils
thru the packed streets of hell consumed
by a hopeless desire to start a new life of
chastity but there will be no second chance
just the eternity we deserve
david badgerow Mar 2020
my favorite time to see her is in the morning
so when i found her in the kitchen
with the orange dawn sunlight
swarming in on her face, i was elated
i felt a rectogenital tingle

she was in last night's liquid eyeliner
& a faded Prince tshirt & just a
bikini bottom as she zigzagged her hips toward me

i ran quickly thru the things
i wished i hadn't said last night
& watched her face bloom into
a pout i was born to kiss

she smelled like new shampoo
& the half joint sitting in the
conchshell ashtray sending its musk
ceilingward in ribbons

when we embraced she let me grab her ***
& that's how i knew all was forgiven
then she sashayed to the percolator &
returned blowing softly on a bulging
mug she ate fruit while i steeped & asked her
what our plan was for the day

"the beach, dummy, look at me"
which i did & she followed my gaze
down & nudged her **** to the side
to tease me with its unfettered sway
& the shifting quotation marks of her *******
against her stretched thin shirt

i slipped into an involuntary squint
as i brought the smoldering paper up
& pinched it to my whistle my gaze lingered
on those coral pink lips but
she kept her eyelids lowered
wrinkled her nose
& stood with one hip out
the other knee bent into the apricot light
& stared not at me but at the
dust motes floating in the soft warm mosaics of light
bouncing in time with the pulse from her temple
& my heart melts volcanic
david badgerow Mar 2020
Cody -- hey buddy -- something
I want to ask you about;
Are her eyes still ice-emeralds
And her skin like a cloud?
Do you think Allison will
Sleep with me now?
Does she still have a soft-spot
For dreamers; down-and-outs?
Red-eyed poseurs, beautiful losers,
Fuckbois, dry-drunks, and fidgeting louts?
If so send her my way
Or tell her give me a shout
I'm ****** up, I'm so lonely
They just let me out.
david badgerow Mar 2020
it's a pink morning
and only just quit raining
-- a faint milkwhite drizzle
so the sidewalks shine
with the sun's slanting rays
and the grass is all so vivid

my face and chest are warming
where the halation light spackles me
thru the branches of the
cottonwood tree i'm reclined against
-- my spine matches it notch for notch
the air is thickly humid and leans on me
thru the hazy light and the quietude burns
my conscience clean

i sit still and pious letting my ribcage
expand and deflate gently in the slow seep of dawn
i sit and listen to the earth wake up
i do not disturb the red spider on the geranium leaf or
the softly purring girl who shared
her dreams last night with me
i only catch a sloping breeze as it twists
across the parking lot

the first intimations of her waking are feline
-- the kneading grip of her sharp fingernails
on my thigh, the arch in her back as she rises
out of the sleeping bag into the alkaline brightness
to let her nose brush against my cheek and put
a sweet and overripe morning breath kiss on
the corner of my mouth

i wonder what kind of bird that is
singing tentatively over there
i wonder where my cigarettes are
and if there's any cash left in my sock
i wonder also what her name is
and then it all comes back to me
and with the bird i'm humming
the opening melody
of Cassidy
david badgerow Mar 2020
she has endless power
over me because I
gave her my warm body
to wrap herself in & when
she did I had fireflies living
in my heart-chest & sometimes
she'd hum to them a lullaby thru
my chapstick smeared lips
or lure them out by
tickling my ribs & calling herself
mrs-my-last-name

that was two winters back but
I can still hear her perfect white teeth
& tongue bounce as they pronounce
the last vowels in it
david badgerow Mar 2020
single & ready
to cling mingle &
sing fling jingles
in a string ******
or be king tingle
& wring Pringles
crumb thingies out
of your box-
spring & belly-
button ring in the
mornings.
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