i have
some vague idea of
any possible universe
without any laws
designed by an idiot

designed by a diety
thinking of something much more abstract

i can't write anything good until i've had my morning coffee,
the words are comatose inside me

i can't write anything good until i've brushed my teeth
the words are rotting inside each breath

i can't write anything good until i've taken a shower
the words will shine or be washed away

i can't write anything good until i've sobered up
until then all you get is
belligerent
repetitive
uncreative
pathetic

tonight, i am far too weak to become a star
i am a drunken river, all is possible until i reach another life
i am a weeping madman on the creeping sidewalks of solitude
i make secret deals with buddha in the desert
we will find the temples on neptune
with flaming radars and silvery kisses
we will battle with this massive electric dream and
undoubtedly become monsters with nowhere to lay our heads

my feet are washed with death
my breath is tinged in ecstacy
i am naked without identity
i am the black felt tip
of a pen dancing
across white paper
i should be left alone

there is a fold in the universe
surrounded by millions of suns
and diamond gold and mercurial fire
we can dance and sing and live in it
without ourselves
without money
money made of nothing
bellowing over eternity
money made of failure

pure thought
written on paper warheads
being fired off
at the moon

i will ***** and become
the hidden son of whitman
i scream
i starve
i will walk through fire
and be reduced to white powder
i will leave jet plane streaks in the sky
i will be remembered bliss on your lips
you will see the mediterranean rainbow
hear the seagull flying over dolphins screaming
and i will swim through the atlantic sun and
weep for this antiquity

the answer
is not
opposed to principle
it is not
against wars or
persecution
it will just
go together with
literature
and it can
be influenced by
time
and the heart.
there is no difference between fact and fiction.
all writing is fiction.
and that is the worst betrayal of
the truth.

my cheeks are blushed in the glow of your midnight kiss
i stand blinking in the corner
i am a smokestack, i rise above roofs and water towers
the space above this city is never populated by heaven
fear of ****** in the streets
in a hotel room
or a bus
bombshell crawling over flesh flashes metal neon
i am a coffee mug gripped by puncture-marked knuckles
exuding white dreams and pursed lips
I went into the dripping door
I drank the yoke of an ostrich egg
I am a hog in sunlight, a dead rabbit on asphalt at dawn
I lift a palsied hand to beg a cigarette.

museums
and televison
soap operas
and rotting memorials

the nation has suffered

i cannot understand

without perspective, we flounder in the dark
in misery
being victimized

for what?

my view
is:

am i wrong
about bears?