How is it a simple praise
From you, can make my day?
Yet you leave me hurt, numb,
Unsure of what to say...

The object of my affection,
Yet now a Cold, Hard *****.
Not sure if I should still want you,
Or wish you dead to rot in a ditch.

This Dark and Deadly storm,
Of hateful thoughts in my mind,
Yet when the squall calms,
I always Reflect and find,

Despite your Lies and Abuse,
I find myself still missing you.
None of these others satisfy it,
Feels like insanity, what to do?...

Just keep trying to move on.
Because we can never go back.
Our lives can only go forwards,
Yet everything feels out of whack...

Memories of times long gone,
Thoughts of feelings dying.
If I said I don't miss the laughs,
You'd know I'd just be lying.

But we can never go back,
Because you walked away.
Decided I wasn't worth it,
Nothing would make you stay.

I hope you find your happiness,
After all the fights, you deserve it.
I'll just stay here, forgotten again.
No surprise that life's gone to ****.

And now we've hit the end,
Not sure how I feel anymore,
Is this Pain and Guilt and Shame?
Lies of the promises we swore.

Anger and Jealousy and Hurt,
I never claimed to be perfect.
It's hard, trying to be positive.
When you're struck with Defects.

So maybe I just tried too hard,
To tell you that you had no flaws,
Tried in vain to bandage the broken,
Couldn't be fixed by any tape or gauze.

Just maybe wasn't meant to happy,
Yet you'll always mean so much.
You've gone off so far, so distant,
Removed from my life and clutch.

My loyalty wasn't good enough,
Tried to be honest, you didn't care.
Yet I let you burn me, Twice now,
Leaving for yet another affair.

I'll never stop worrying and caring,
But right now I don't forgive you.
You used me like the fool for you I am,
without caring the damage you'd do.

I'll just turn and walk away for now,
There's no point in trying so hard anymore,
No clue if I'll ever hear from you again,
But I'll be here, like always, if you want an Encore.

You always complained,
hated the way you looked,
Felt you had to compare,
Yet on you I was hooked,

You Felt you were chubby,
you hated having a scar,
Despised the stretch mark tummy,
Said your teeth were quite bizarre.

You, so strong and Independent,
Hating being between Jobs,
Living in poor conditions,
Stuck in a house full of slobs.

All you wanted were the girls,
Who were (wrongfully) taken away,
You could talk of them for hours,
Always having more to say.

You find all these faults and flaws,
You tell me that you're "Broken"
Yet you're perfect in my eyes,
I leave no praise unspoken.

Your eyes, like gems, They sparkle,
The way when you smile, they're amazing.
Your voice, cute, feminine, airy.
I really did love it when you'd sing.

The hair?  Good god.  That Moe Hawk.
Worst haircut choice you ever made.
And the Beiber haircut?  Speechless.
Your independence I could not dissuade.

Yet you were still her, the one I wanted.
The looks always grew on me in the end.
You made me honestly happy, Love.
I thought you'd always be my best friend.

The Piercings? Attractive.  The tattoos more so.
Everything I wanted I saw in you.
Your curves?  Your body?  Your shameless flirting?
Incited a lust in me no other woman could do.

You strive so hard to be individual,
Beautiful, Strong, Smart, Charming,
Even now, that you've left, your smile,
So pretty and pure, still completely disarming,

No matter what I've said in Jealousy and Anger,
You're an amazing woman.  I just can't lie.
We may never even talk again after this,
We may not ever be able to see eye to eye.

But I think you were my "one",
Cause I am affected by no other,
I'll never forget you, Jen,
The Music loving nerdy Mother,

But now I'll walk away, while wishing you the best.
Hoping you find the happiness you want so badly.
It seems our chapter has ended, in such a poor state.
If you change your mind, I'll be here.  Open arms.  Welcoming gladly.

You gave up, Walked away,
Didn't want anymore conflict,
I said I was finish too, yet
My words and actions Contradict,
The anger faded out over time,
But now I sit here feeling Derelict.

I suppose maybe I pushed too hard,
Maybe my anger carried my actions too far,
Blinded by jealousy and anger and emotions,
Seeing you as a beautiful shooting star,
Proud and independent, strong and smart,
All the good memories reduced to a scar.

You used to make me laugh so much,
Your picture left me smiling for days,
But now all we can do is yell and argue,
I've hit the wall and run out of ways,
To try and reach out to you, to be a better man,
Now I sit and watch, our memory decays.

The memories, the promises, the flirting,
The talks of perverse acts and sin,
Everything I had so badly wanted,
Crushed again, before it can even begin,
Maybe it's time, close the book and toss it,
Finally **** that small spark of hope within.

All I can do now is hope that you're happy,
Suppress memories that make my throat constrict,
Wishing you happiness, health, and good fortune,
Ignoring the pain missing you will inflict.
Saddened things had to end so poorly,
As I sit here, with my thoughts, Derelict.

The time we had,
Fades more each day.
I cry for you now,
yet you'll only turn away.

And this sickness,
it consumes me.
Yet I let it define,
All I will ever be.

Can we be fixed?
Is there any chance?
Pondering this thought,
in my drunken trance.

I tried so hard today.
Just not to think of you.
Yet I sit here daydreaming,
and there's nothing I can do.

The sandglass empties,
Time just slips out.
Feelings of insanity,
making me want to shout.

Afraid to lose you,
Afraid to expire.
Yet I feel time will end,
without the one I desire.

Time always seems to slow down,
Thinking of you not being around.
Sitting here, hurting, missing you.
Heavy heartbeat, the only sound.

Time will still go on,
continue to slip away.
Yet here I'll sit, waiting.
Missing you every day.

I ****** up in the past,
I ruined what we had.
Yet here I tried again,
Perhaps I am just Mad.

I thought that it would work,
I expected something new,
I tried so very hard,
Fueled by thoughts of you.

I know you have your faults,
And things you think are flaws.
Yet you're beautiful to me,
But I can't do it anymore, because...

You lie when it's convenient,
Your guilt trips hurt, you see.
You sit and watch as I try,
yet the only one trying is me.

I put my hand out to you,
Begged you not to walk away,
Yet you made up your mine, left.
Not caring what I had to say.

I said things out of anger,
Some things I do regret.
Let things get out of hand.
Perhaps unfixable, but yet...

You're still beautiful to me.
Even if you're gone for good.
As hard as I tried to make you smile,
Maybe I just never really understood.

I'm not the man you need,
Nor the one you wanted.
Maybe I'm just not good enough,
such thoughts, I'm constantly haunted.

And now I don't know how to fix it.
I don't even know if I can.
Most likely I've already lost you
To a much better man.

I don't know what to do now.
And I don't know how to do it.
I thought it was going so well.
Now happiness turns to ****.

Disappointment and Pain,
knowing now you're gone forever.
I thought we could pull through it,
but now you've become my Never.