Ive been through this Ive been through that
My direction uncertain blind as a bat
I took a path to me most certain
To fight for right and lift the curtain

The longer I stayed the more I lost
Less motivation for more of the cost
Still I was willing to give my all
The more I climbed the more I'd fall

Till finally I looked at that sweet dawn
That perhaps instead of climbing I should spawn
Maybe my life would be desirable
Being myself then something couterfactual

I still want the glory and the praise
But that wont give me true appraise
Being a man who is strong and true
Means I wont need to redo

Life is short
Weeds are tall
Questioning your plight
Means you must fight

Here I am with much joy
This new path is no ploy
Its me and my life
Myself now, my future wife

All I need a simple life
A gun a dog a knife
Rocking a chair on some land
The more I think it is grand

I dont want a nice car
I wont need to go far
For my life is in my possession
My goal is progression

When I am weak it is there
It doesn’t judge me
It gives me strength
It’s a problem but it is mine
Where are you when I need help
Your not but it is
That beer or that wine
It never betrays me
It lets me know who I am
When others tell me who I should be
It tells me who I am
It causes problems but it is also solutions
When I seek answers
It is there
It may be wrong
It may be a sin
But no one else can understand
It makes me free
Like nothing else can
My lips and aspirations are boundless
Who knew that all I seek
Is in a bottle of poison
So many have died
So many have been born
It is the solid string of life
It is what it is
It doesn’t lie
This genie is God
The voice of an alcoholic
But in this world of lies
It is true and doesn’t make false promises
With the knowledge of its dead end
So many still seek its knowledge
Even though it has none to give
It brings hate and love
It precedes idiocy and brings wisdom
It’s the answer  and the problem
But until I find something better
I will dwell in the devils house
I am not perfect nor am I good
that’s why I defect to ungodliness
I know it is wrong
I know it is sin
Still I seek it
It is strong and yet it is weak
Its strength comes from weakness
Knowing this doesn’t change its hold on me
What does is love and God the true God
Sometimes I don’t see it
Sometimes  I don’t realize it
But those around me do
Friends and family help me through it
When they aren’t  there I fall back
I seek that poison
I want that sin
Why because im free with it
When the world goes to hell I turn to hell for release
It doesn’t change who I am
It brings it out in both good and bad
Afterwards im both happy and sad
The last of my world is in that last drop
My birth is in that first sip
Whiskey brings me to act
*** makes me to laugh
***** helps me relax
And beer helps me to be loose
Its all bad yet I cannot cease
This is the ballad of an alcoholic
Let none of you judge
For you are alcoholics in your own way
You find your vice and lie
We have found ours its just more acceptable
Lord help me with this for I know it is wrong
Only you can guide me
Until then cheers for I love you more than
This poison that stands between us
Help me lord cause only you can
Only the strength of the father son and ghost
Can fix this mortal fixation
I know your there
So help me before I do something
That might make my service to you in question
Before I sought freedom
Now I seek servitude to you
I have been selfish
Now I seek sacrifice
I love you and all others but you are HIM
Help me in my hours of need
I know you will
I am meant for greater than Jim beam
I am meant for more than Johnny walker
As of now I cannot do it alone
But you are there
And I will pull through
Thank you and God bless

As he walked down the street
A voice whispered in his ear
Taunting and teasing him
Belittling and screaming
First in growls
Then in howls
He ignored with all his power
But the voice would not relent
He instructs more forceful now
Break that commandment
Do that sin
You will feel better
You wont get in trouble
Still he stayed true
At home the voice came with vigor
Drink that potion
Sip that poison
His mettle began to weaken
The voice came now with new momentum
He felt himself weakening even more
He was about to give in
He looked about to see what sin to commit
Ideas came in droves
Destroy that
****** this
Then just out of view
A book came to focus
He picked it up
Read its word
The voice ceased
His thoughts calmed
His strength returned
He relaxed and kept reading
And to know surprise Gods word was his saving grace

I tried

I tried my hardest but to no avail
And yet every fiber that is me refuses to fail
What has happened to is beyond my control
It is written on every inch of my soul
My promises still ring true
All will always try to get you
Regardless of whether I should
I will always try as hard as I could
It cannot stop you’ve stained my spirit
No matter what I do I cannot **** it
I hate I despise I and loath what I have become
And I don’t know where I am gone or from
Lost in a world that is hollow
No good example to follow
I am embarking on my own trail
Like anything else it’s a new tale
On my own I want no advice
From man woman or mice
This is me defiant to the end
With no worries luck or friend
Bring it on I say to this life
I can take it all pain sorrow and strife
You want it you got it cause here I go
Nothing and no one can tell me no
I am done with others expectations
I’m finished with all lies and hesitations
Here I am back to my desire
My soul is back and on fire
Your done and I want nothing
And my pain has stopped its sting
Here I am take it or leave it
For you and I are not a fit
I realize I will never be good enough for you
But you were never really good enough for me too
So have a good life I wish you the best

The other night I had a dream that was too real not to be seen
Sitting on a bus mine heart felt a rush
A head gathered on my chest resting and relieving all your stress
Looking down my heart was warmed a feeling lost but now reformed
My arm draped around your head all your ill emotions have since fled
The single thing I have ever desired is for your angst to be retired
It looks now that it has succeeded my love for you has superseded
Your head sits such at peace my body acting as an armored fleece
My soul mission is your serenity your protector is my identity
My dream is so perfect I let it be leaning back not questioning my harmony
Your with me once again I finish my prayer and say amen
As I wake I am confused my situation I am bemused
Anger overcomes my still determination becomes my will
I will have my dream again regardless the stakes your head will rest no matter what it takes
At the wall I can only stare twas no dream it was a nightmare

Angels above fly high above
Looking down with endless love
They see our pain and strife
Helping us throughout our life
When darkest days our to be seen
On angels wings are where to lean
Many times we forget
Our faith becomes broken and split
Yet still they watch and hold us right
Never letting us relent in our fight
When we are weak they make us strong
When were low they sing their song
We stumble we falter and sometimes fall
But just they’re presence can heal all
With sorrow agony and defeat
They’re voice we hear soft and sweet
So never forget when you are low
To look up and see their glow

A man and his brother set on a task
An undertaking attempted many times by others
To no avail nothing and no one could succeed
But their vision was to them possible
It seemed that this feat was not meant to be
The world told them to quit
If God wanted it to be he would have giving you the tools
Yet they were undeterred in this goal
They toiled and worked
They  slaved and sweated
Failed many times in their task
But together they crawled toward their aim
One day they finally did it
They climbed aboard their creation
And started a new era in the modern world
Finally these brothers did the impossible
Their names were Wilbur and orville wright

Stubbornness is perhaps the greatest gift God has given man
Those who have it are mocked and berated by their clan
Undeterred they continue toward their mission
Never swayed by words blinded by their ambition
When the dust settles everyone sees
The answer to success is this disease
More things have been done
By unrelenting men seeking the long run
Stubbornness may in fact be wrong
Alas anyone can see this burden is carried only by the strong