don’t like coffee much
prefer tea
       and yet people are always saying
          we should meet up for coffee
    and I profoundly disagree   ..

called the waiter over
for the bill
he said what about coffee
I said thanks
but I don’t even know you     ..

she used to complain
that she never knew
what he was thinking

he said I hear what
you’re saying, but isn’t
that rather the point?

wrote a poem on the train
got a fine
and they made me
wash it off

poured myself a drink
what about me?
you can pour me the
next one  ..

there is little conversation
over dinner as we’re concentrating
on eating I wonder what we’ll
talk about after      ..

they remained silent
over dinner, the gravy especially was
best not mentioned again

turned up at her door
     with a bottle of gin
  so what is that for ?
oh, it’s just a way in ..

you’re making it up
beatrice cried
and dante said
yeah, well this stuff
don’t write itself   ..

what do I want played
at my funeral?
charades

I’m going away
for a while he
thought she’d
be ok about it  ..

we are
not what
we were
we ever?

people often say “less”
when they mean “fewer” -
it’s not important, I
guess, it’s just grammar    ..

only writing because
like bukowski said
only if you have to
will it be any good

when I was a kid I got a sixpence
a week for
pocket money, plus the beano
every
saturday
and then, suddenly, they
brought in decimalisation
and a sixpence no longer existed,
and I’ve worried about
money
ever since   ..

they say a time machine wouldn’t
be possible
but that’s *******
I’ve got a clock

city becomes us ill
and buildings rise and fall
in laboured breath

they used to love each
other things happened  ..

the upstairs window
looks out across the city
a figure peers back    ..

watched an old bloke on the train
struggle to open a packet
of sandwiches and offered him a hand
which he gratefully ate

we brush against each
other
than that there is
nothing  ..

she knew it was over
he hadn’t been home for days
why don’t you go home
she says   ..

his phone rings
she says why don’t you answer it
he says it hasn’t said
anything yet     ..

why call murderers butchers,
    when we get our lamb chops
from the butchers, and very nice they are, too
    few, those old shops   ..

why do people dislike politics
so much that they
prefer mob rule over civilised debate
is better than hate

I want to run down
hill and get faster and fast
er and faster and      ..

the first time we met
I loved her face
but I fancied her legs
and I know that’s
sexist and objectification
but we’ve been
married for thirty two years
so who cares

always been timid
or not here I come!

people tend to comment on
the content or subject of a poem,
rather than the form or the style
it out, mate, style it out

suggested a picnic
she said good idea
I’ll make the sandwiches
I said no, let them
decide for themselves

easy to be amusing
that you think so
whilst I struggle in my head
with every ****** word

he bought
her a ring

but she
didn’t

not having felt great for
ages one somewhat ..

she said
you must hate me
I said
you can’t make me      ..

city at night is like myself
as a child
afraid to turn off
the lights

been together
for

so long

she says
I’m off   ..

alright I’m the worst poet you’ve
ever read
I mean what do you want
me to say ?

there’s a few of us
going out tonight
if you’re interested

of course I am you
must tell me all about it
in the morning     ..

I want to read
my book
why are you
looking at me
like that ?

young men fail to
notice the old bloke in the café
reading his paper
too busy with their phones
you can’t hide behind them
he says

she said I wonder
what you look like
without your glasses

he said I wonder
what you look like
without my glasses    ..

a small bird sings
in the wind in the
trees in the wind
a small bird sings

your underwears me down
with it’s expectation of
fulfilment, but I’m just not in the mood
right now I’m reading

so what if I talk to myself
when I’m alone and
how the hell do you know  ..

could tell you were disappointed,
but then,
you tell it so much better   ..

asked where I’d got those
bruises on my face
I said my face

well if they get me
don’t try to get them back

why the hell would I want
them back?

she said she needed to be
free
he said from what
she said from now on    ..











l

losing again went
to the pub they said sorry
we’re just closing he

said oh I’m the one
they always let in, in the
last minute or so

met my wife at work
said you forgot your sandwiches  ..