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May 2013 · 456
Night Watching
Ottar May 2013
Night Watching
While you sleep, I am awake, I sit at the foot of your bed and I stand guard,
Believe me
                      it is difficult to ward off the imps that chase you far and hard,
To me it appears you are asleep, yet you toss, you turn, whimper and startle,
I hear your groans and I drop my head, I may look defeated, but I am just in prayer,
I can't stop those mares who stamp at night,
                                                          ­                           bridled rein in the hand of a dark heart,
They rest in the daylight when you are not able to stop or go slow, but hark,
they come calling as the sun is low and you are a feather falling lightly, oh that stark,
reality is they are waiting for you land like a rock,
you always do hope for a soft one on a blanket in a park,
but I know concrete slab and cold steel greet you and
                                                             ­                                         the shadows take aim and mark,
your journey this night, the scars don't show by mornings light, yet the drains tap,
into your energy, and I can only watch, no weapon in my hand, no tear from my eye,
will ease the battle, so I pray and I pray to remind me to pray,
                                                           ­                                                          as you alone enter the fray,
defenceless, against the assault, we know there is no fault,
                                                                ­                                                    or if you were to give in and stay
until the dreams ran out,
of their hold, that heartless vice that turns and won't
let go of your beautiful fertile imaginative mind, vulnerable
                                                      ­                                                            and alone.  I am beside you and
yet I wait, to comfort, with only a word that I am near,
you are not alone, "I am here", night watching.
I do it for her, cuz I know she would do it for me
Continue reading...
May 2013 · 602
They had a riot
Ottar May 2013
They had a riot
And forgot they were people too,
so when one guy stood up said "stop"
they blamed their numb brains,
those numbskulls.

Choose your fuel carefully you fool,
actions speak louder than words and
everyone who is anyone, listened,
was it 29 to 1, how odd?

There is no excuse, only shame,
admit your fault accept the blame,
and move on.  Oh the one,

He is a hero, but I don't think
he will ever be the same,
but we know who to blame,
all this for a game in a hockey rink.

Oh puck.
Continue reading...
May 2013 · 521
God, I hate being called a man sometimes
Ottar May 2013
God, I hate being called a man sometimes
She was pushed, into a box, no, that is not right,
she was made to accept, inhuman acts, what a sight,
how dare he do it?

So much hate and vociferous violence directed,
at an innocent, she was starving, for the opposite,
he shamed himself and blamed her.

Bit by bit and piece by piece, she was disassembled,
restructured and her psyche crumbled till she trembled,
even her her sleep.

There is a millstone with his name on it, he is not alone,
that admission makes me not sad but mad, he may be
alive, forgive and forget not, before God, to atone.

Next stop Hell.



To her friends;
You did not fail, although you might have those
ransomed thoughts, if she was but an angel, you did your best and chose,
to help one who was spirited away, you did your best and God knows.

I have no other words to comfort you, in this tragic loss.
For a person I never knew, for so many women that have to go through,
I don't think I got it right, but I know it is not about me, get someplace safe,
for you!
Continue reading...
May 2013 · 801
longing
Ottar May 2013
longing
This is for you, it is the slate blue sky before sunset,
I have no one else to give it to,
But it is not really mine, to give to you just yet.

This for you, a sky full of stars, and moon over the briny ocean toss,
If you were not, the aim and focus of my affectations,
Here lie with me softly on the solid rock with the bed of moss.

This is for you, I need you more,  than you need me,
Je t'adore, une fois pour toutes,
I imagine more, about you then, the time I spend with us, see?
Continue reading...
May 2013 · 378
Legends, Lyrics and Lovers
Ottar May 2013
Legends, Lyrics and Lovers
Legends are made to be broken, especially if they are human, mythical,
Lyrics are made to be sung, when there are no words it is just, musical,
Lovers are made to be together, broken parts, heart songs beating, magical.
Less may be more
Continue reading...
May 2013 · 359
Shadow
Ottar May 2013
Shadow
Tiny spider scrabbling along white capped wall,
Flattened out low when something very small,
ran across the path and a leg.

Up sprang Tiny moving faster, not food driven but security,
Tiny the spider, wanted to make it to full female maturity,
alive to cause fear, not perish, naturally.

The  Tiny garden spider was far from the spot where she found herself,
among last nights feast, as the Sun rose in the East warming the shelf,
now gone way West her cold blooded body craved to eat again and again.

She would wait, she would rest, she would not sleep,
the night life was
beginning to move, she could see very well in the deep
shadow of her corner perch.
Continue reading...
May 2013 · 300
Edit me
Ottar May 2013
Edit me
Oh words that, don't sense of what I make,
The liberties I take or will, I might forsake,
Edit me.

Free them that would be bound by what I type,
We, I, need calm, cut the crap and this hype,
Edit me please.

Distraction costs, whether freely sought,
I want not the pity you bought, you sought,
Edit me please, take my disease.

Oh far, far away.

Alone.
Continue reading...
May 2013 · 414
Only
Ottar May 2013
Only
Sometimes the silly things, the little things, get my attention,
get my wonder, no it is not, the big things that, only build tension,
it may be a break in the weather, which has not happened yet.

Sometimes the random things, natural things, that let me rest,
that do not matter, no it is not, the hard things of life that only test,
it may be a black squirrel, taunting another, "go ahead jump, make it!"

Sometimes the things people do, or what they share carefully,
show that love, no not just for me but for all, who only dare vulnerability,
it may be honest expression or an emotional trigger or time spent.

It is you I want
to spend time with, no clock hands,
Only you, only.

Twogether.
Continue reading...
May 2013 · 2.6k
The place with a silver lining
Ottar May 2013
The place with a silver lining
There is a history, could be called their story,
But the clouds,
To the dirt beneath,
Their finger nails,
All were lined in silver,
Or other precious metals,
Smelted with treasured memories,
Weaving silver through all,
The storms, along every cloud,
Each raindrop and teardrop too,
They labored,
In veins of mineral mines,
They smelted iron ore,
Got more troy ounces then they
Bargained for, by the millions,
Gold and silver for those linings,
Precious and semi-precious metals,
From deep holes in the ground,
To a furnace that evaporated sweat,
Under the fireproof suits, they worked hard,
Honestly while wearing protective lenses and
Not rose coloured glasses, it was a good life,
Memories and faded glory days,
Until the Company, took it away, bit by bit,
Leaving,
Flame but little glory,
To those special days,
And bygone days,
There are still a few,
Who survived modernization,
There are many more,
Whose best memory,
Is the pension,
Crew mates are gone,
Spouses are gone,
Yet the special days,
Are celebrated anyways,
In the Silver City,
That joy is almost,
Tangible, to when,
Generations of men,
Went home to their women, children
Broke bread, drink vino and shots of grappa,
Sharing day shift or afternoons,
And graveyard shifts during the boom,
Today many years later, more than 100,
Now the fireworks light the night-sky,
While figments of the past, stand shoulder,
To shoulder, with those who remain,
Shared memories of silver linings.
For Trail during this weekend of Silver City Days
Continue reading...
May 2013 · 709
Resolve
Ottar May 2013
Resolve
Families are families, once again,
Happy endings, sure, from tragic circumstance
Courage like this, seldom at no expense,
Three woman and a girl have a fragrance,
of strength,
of  life,
of much more,
Than Words which are sounds,
a little more than hollow,
and maybe peace will be found,
Somewhere, when questions, will
Not hang in the air, after needing to be asked,
While giving many others hope,
Resolve,
                In your vulnerability, in your time,
so much...
has been made better...
by your safe return, that ...
                                leaves me speechless,
in my stunned silence...a flood of tears.
Continue reading...
May 2013 · 4.3k
Busy
Ottar May 2013
Busy
Some days are like that, you don't stop,
Too bad there are no time management cops,
But are we not, to police that ourselves.

From the degrees of the compass we find our,
interests, which give energy and power,
to our lives, or stay on those dusty shelves.

Catalog and label with modern library code, move over,
Or scan, a bar code on any book, judged by the dust on the cover,
Are you like a book not opened, imagine, delve...

Deeper, kick out the chafe that holds you down, holds you back,
Look and ask why are there strings, to your head, heart, smacks,
of a conspiracy, we know, your joy, your love will not be squelched.
Define joy, express love, be free to put in words where others balk at the cost and transparency
Continue reading...
May 2013 · 500
For Brennan Manning RIP
Ottar May 2013
For Brennan Manning RIP
I have not yet read your book,
maybe others things took,
the time, your time, from mine,
I read what you said in another
written work to your brother,
Rich Mullins.

Brennan, I know you not at all,
and after your book, I may fall,
short of understanding who you are,
but that is a measure of me or how far,
I have to go to be nearer to God.

You have written more than one book,
and the face I see when I look,
at yours is a man who wrestled with those
things of God while showing love like the Rose
of Sharon.

I will miss you though I did not know you that well at all,
except, you like Rich, were both poets, thank you for being
you.  I still have your book and one day, I will, it, read.
Nope not hagiography.  But he was, they were, ...they would both resist the "title"
Continue reading...
May 2013 · 595
My Front Door
Ottar May 2013
My Front Door
Fern the fern liked everything light green,
She liked the shade and was never mean,
The mixed basket, Rachel Equality loved every colour,
Different shades of every one and size, larger to smaller,
she likes to hang with them all,
"Snowflake's" white petals were loved by fuzzy bumble bees,
it was a pollen, the attraction,
though we do not know what her name stems from.
Characters, in the order they appear, Fern, as her self, Mixed Hanging Basket, please be aware and understand there are multiple personalities at play, and Snowflake, whose real name was asked to remain hidden due to the nature of her chosen field of occupation, it is a ***** job etc.
Continue reading...
May 2013 · 296
The Boulevard
Ottar May 2013
The Boulevard
The ocean wave sounds have wheels,
they rush the sound of the baby's
cry to my ears, I know how it feels,
to not get your message across, maybe.

So the baby cries, louder,
And I try...really try, above
the noise in my head,
it is failure I dread, listen...
still the baby, now screams.
Yup the parents took one of the twins to the emergency... nope on second thought she might be teething...
Continue reading...
May 2013 · 1.1k
Where the sky meets the Earth
Ottar May 2013
Where the sky meets the Earth
It is 1:30 am somewhere,
I stew in the heat of the day,
the Sun is gone West and
drained into that spot there.

The horizon.

Are you always looking at that place,
or any place where they meet with a
deep studying look on your face?
Like me.

I see blue sky some days,
Smog, the dragon, other days, polluting the view,
I see clouds yet and complain, again,

and again.

If I walked to where the horizon is, I see
                     from my second floor balcony,
I would keep on walking and never succeed.

But with my eye, I can see where those two meet,
they touch, and I am speechless at the beauty,
no matter what the weather is they meet, they
touch every day.  All around me.

And every night too.
Dark, the dark brings,
quiet to their night time,
together time,
where the sky meets the Earth.
Continue reading...
May 2013 · 826
Restless
Ottar May 2013
Restless
I will let my self sink in to the blue,
I may float for a while and smile too,
I will close my eyes and think of ...
I may drift off as I drift out in the sea to,
the sea dreams, or landlocked in
the lake of the lost, feeling small on
the ocean adventure,
all from by bed with blue sheets and
king size comforter.

My beard is a windsock, I know the breeze is changin'.

This my vessel, the anchor has been weighed,
I set sail tonight again, to ride the waves,
for when morning cracks the horizon,
I find a port and with my sea legs, walk,
the lands, never yet
finding home.
Continue reading...
May 2013 · 869
Hey buddy, do you have any Zig Zags?
Ottar May 2013
Hey buddy, do you have any Zig Zags?
Mystery intrigued me,
3 zombies walking with a ragged stagger,
talking guttural sounds,
wanting to know if I had any zig zags?

I looked at the hats into the eyes,
thought and said "No, don't smoke guys" and they,
stumbled by, hunger for a smoke
mounting; I had spoken truthfully, never have, never will.

I stopped and turned to stare, they asked,
an older woman, who didn't slow down or say a word,
looking ahead, the day walkers approached
a couple of construction types at the bus stop, who
patted themselves down and shrugged.

Their pace became more erratic, as they were
denied, they sped up, getting
twitchy as they weren't flesh eaters but they
were addicted to smoke and
rolling there own, the heat and flavour, they savoured.

The knew what it would feel like as soon as they...
Amazing what grows out of a few tobacco seeds,
oh and what seeds have you sown...
Changed the title used to be Tobacco Seeds
Continue reading...
May 2013 · 504
Luggage Too (10W X 3)
Ottar May 2013
Luggage Too (10W X 3)
She's not around,
suitcases poorly hidden
after, the night before.

Some  bags were
by the barrier
wonder where
they were?

Belongings here,
no one in sight,
but is she alright?
Continue reading...
May 2013 · 821
Luggage
Ottar May 2013
Luggage
She, dressed in black, gingerly moving each item of clothing, with care,
The road side gravel and dirt with concrete is her boudoir, straight hair,
dark and greasy, she moves to put each item away, how did they get there?

Maybe, her friend, taking watch at the street, looking north, with concern,
Glancing over her shoulder at her friend as she bends and each item returns,
to the black luggage and black bags,  where is her home, I can't quite discern?

Later, I  see her all alone drinking from a water bottle and she can't sit still,
bags are packed near the bus stop, several blocks  away and back up the hill,
No friend in sight, the bus did not take her, where to spend the night, she'll chill.

Somewhere.

Just as she always has had,
leather skin as tough as
it always was, but her
heart,
beating,
tenderly,
quickly,
waiting,
for night,
or worse
to fall...
I said I wouldn't write today. Putting my energies elsewhere, but where else, must I want to be.
Continue reading...
May 2013 · 308
Poetic License
Ottar May 2013
Poetic License
Break me bind me, better yet do not mind me,
For I may always let you down.
Stake me find me, better yet blind me,
from my own selfish sight.
Take me redefine me, better yet forget,
Me.

Taking a break, from this, to be with you,
            guarding our sanity and banality,
needing us, is needing you.
For I am not there when you need me most.
Words like shards of glass littered across
the room to the door where you stand,
waiting, patiently, at a distance
for Me.

Heaviness,
of heart,
of burdened
shoulders I have,
it is one thing to carry
an others load,
more though, it
is how I show
I care for
You.

This engine though pushes,
me to go to where the words
are, sometimes most times,
bedtimes, we are apart,
with only words between us.
Unspoken.
Continue reading...
Apr 2013 · 1.5k
Prairie Rose
Ottar Apr 2013
Prairie Rose
Farm life was hard,
when your the twelfth,
in line, most of the older
ones have gotten bolder,
to make there own way,
away from the family place.

Your hair was platinum white,
kids were kids and joked in spite,
of how nice you were or not.

When number thirteen was about to be,
the baby took your mother away, see?
your dad then go sick with TB,
once he could no longer take care,
you went to be with family, who cared.

You went to work stocking shoes,
dropout of school to pay your dues,
so much lost and so much to lose.

You moved away and married a man,
had a couple of boys who grew to men
and worked,
moved again and again west then south,
and worked
as the retail demands,
cashiering and training manager
types, till you retired... when they
closed the store, without much
attention and with not much of
a pension.  Lost much in the divorce.

From a prairie rose to fill those roles
as a cashier,
as trainer,
as a mother,
cherished,
you balanced,
books, career and life
as well,
thanks from me and my brother, as well.
  
  To any readers,
There more to the story and I will fill
in the blanks, but here is the ending
so you will say thanks that it will not
be nagging as you sleep.
Dedicated to mom.
Much more to write, first draft, might be some changes and plenty of additions
Continue reading...
Apr 2013 · 1.6k
One UnHealthy Relationship leads to...
Ottar Apr 2013
One UnHealthy Relationship leads to...
I would sit in a cave if, I could sit,
I would stand into the wind if, I could stand,
I would lie beside you if, I had you.

My logic is so, so pitiful,
I place expectation upon expectation upon demand,
My illogical answer is, I don't even know you.

If I could dance it would be for joy
If I could fly it would be into the sky so very high,
Then so low along the nap of the Earth.

See?
This how I try to impress thee,
For I am not joyful, therefore I cannot dance,
I am unable to fly so I don't stand a chance.

But these words, an intimate dialog, 'tween ye
And me, I take the time and chronologically
Realize already I am the one unhealthy...

Wait, don't go, let me start again, and when,
wait, why are you crying, I am unhealthy not dying,
I am unhealthy for us...

I will take you this one time to places where,
where are you going, how will we be together,
if you leave, I think your telling me I failed the test

That okay
that is alright,
I will wait till your
outasight
then move
onto my next
conquest.
Some single guy somewhere who fosters one unhealthy relationship after another
Continue reading...
Apr 2013 · 389
Red Sunday
Ottar Apr 2013
Red Sunday
It is the little bits that get in the way,
You work all day and then you play,
Few play through their work day,
           oh how do they rate you say?

But today is a sad dreadful Sunday,
Cars and speed, intersection of dismay,
No worse, much worse, 5 X tragedy,
oh how can that happen on sunny Sunday?

My problems now seem so little so small,
So many people and schools friends all,
Will be affected and will have a terrible pall,
oh how crushing because one was rushing?

Hollow, hollow, hollow words, I am ashamed,
In your mercy and Your hallowed name,
be with them, be with everyone that knew them
I pray, as I may not know them or carry the your words.

Of Peace, Of Comfort, Of Reassurance, Of Solace

To honour them...memories, futures and lives cut short,
the other drive has a heavy burden and courts
dire responsibility.
A family of 5, don't know yet if we may have known them we live in a very big city... with some very dangerous intersections when people run red lights.  The other driver was taken to hospital in air ambulance.
Continue reading...
Apr 2013 · 1.7k
Flash, Clap
Ottar Apr 2013
Flash, Clap
There is something about a fresh spring rain, wind chilling bare arms,
It moves in subtle and fast a temporary pain, come and go no harm,
Go indoors or throw a coat on, put your hood up, no need for alarm.

Then in the same breath there are the single cell clouds large and towering,
They are moved slow and sure, their energy charging up and empowering,
Tall as a mountain with darkness blots out the sun, thunder and lightning.

One bolt, one resounding boom, echoes like the atmosphere is an empty room,
Then the rain releases and floats the cloud mountain higher, no more kaboom,
Cotton-puff piled high leaving behind blue sky and sunshine, the day to resume.

Charged particles lift higher and change,
rain evaporates in the electric air or drains,
broken peaceful blue sky again a clear refrain.

©DWE042013
Continue reading...
Apr 2013 · 802
Every work day
Ottar Apr 2013
Every work day
Manicured lawns, sculpted shrubbery dot the landscape,
Indifferent drivers of cars going to or coming from an escape,
Hydro parallel lines almost invisible but a contrary shape.

This is where life happens,
but don't get on the bandwagon,
for big city life, from inside the fence,
short walks to and from work, less tense,
d
e
s
t
r
e
s
s
if I had vehicular commutes,
a one hour sentence that pollutes,
if I lived further away,
I would be an employment cliche.

My ear buds on,
my music in,
I hear what I
want, on my
travels, where
the music opens,
the landscapes,
of my imagination,
manicured not,
indifferent not,
every workday in
every way is
a new and
exciting adventure.
Continue reading...
Apr 2013 · 311
Meditation
Ottar Apr 2013
Meditation
Complex rhythms simple rhymes,
We all need places of respite in times.
like these.

I have a voice but singing music is not,
Where my gifts are and can't be bought,
or found.

I have found a place of ultimate rest,
I don't take enough time there, blessed
to know Him.

Information pours like an incessant odd storm,
absorbed or reflected terabytes are now the norm,
measure God?
Continue reading...
Apr 2013 · 471
Porch Light (Haiku)
Ottar Apr 2013
Porch Light (Haiku)
Leave the porch light
on, will you, or the dark will
be like our embrace.
Continue reading...
Apr 2013 · 391
So If Not What Then
Ottar Apr 2013
So If Not What Then
SO

so, spring getting you down,
so much rain, you thought you'd drown?
so there is sunshine above the clouds,
so butterflies will weave their way on
so invisible trackless trails, let it leave you
so much in awe.

IF

if, I had the time to do more than
if my way through the day, as
if I have the confidence to be permanently,
if not, forever thought of in the words,
if published, printed and read aloud,
if not then, in silence, now I write.

NOT

not in this moment, and
not, a waste of time
not, deserving just, persevering
not to be tied down,
not in this life time,
not unnoticed, just taken for granted.

WHAT

what was I thinking of
what, I was able to do with
what I was given, freely and
what have I done about or
what was expected of me, nothing?
what?

THEN

then, again, I failed
then I try try again but
then do or do not,
then think of you, dream
then wake, look beside me for
then I find you gone.
NaPoWriMo
Continue reading...
Apr 2013 · 433
Pathos Darkly
Ottar Apr 2013
Pathos Darkly
You draw near,
you draw me in,
it is first with your eyes,
then with your lies.

you stare me down,
you persist and I drop
all else and then my head.

Not into my hands to
cup my shame, as it pours
from my eyes, I believe your
lies and begin to move
to the music you beat into me.

I am so weak, please,
"Like" me, you, social media,
Without you might I be... nothing?
Without you I might not hang out,
with...anyone.
Continue reading...
Apr 2013 · 918
8:45 am
Ottar Apr 2013
8:45 am
Black shoes too big for her feet,
Feet dragging to keep the high heels on,
On the edge of the curb she slowly,
Slowly walks to display her legs black  stockings,
Stockings, exposed thighs, short shorts,
Shorts black, she is dressed in all black,
Black garter belts wave at all who she can see,
See how she clutches her purse under her coat,
Coat hood caped on her head,  black sunglasses,
Sunglasses half way down the bridge of her nose,
Nose slightly bent, let trails of smoke out,
Out in the cold air, cars rush by, gaping jacket open,
Open to getting into a warm vehicle out of the cold,
Cold legs, cold wind, no warmth,
Warmth
of any human kindness,
lost to public blindness,
to what she needs,
Turning her head, hooded dark brown coat draped,
She may have looked like a Sith lord to some,

To someone,
she may have been a Jedi  knight, this
daylight walk was at the end of her night
shift
shift
your thoughts,
what if this street edge walker
were a mother and daughter too,
not related to me or to you,
you hope for her...

The stub or her smoke gave her one last puff,
and
she
was
gone.

not sure where she went,
home or does she change
and roam all day,
awaiting for the change that
night brings to this aging waif.

When she sleeps
             and where,
I pray she is safe.
Continue reading...
Apr 2013 · 301
Haiku Tragedy
Ottar Apr 2013
Haiku Tragedy
I saw the baby
crow on the ground while above
parenting pair flew.
Away.
Continue reading...
Apr 2013 · 2.5k
Beauty Just *Is*
Ottar Apr 2013
Beauty Just *Is*
"Beauty just is."

I have an 80's wooden plaque with a picture of an ocean somewhere and waves crashing on the rocks, written on the sky in the photo is the quote, "Beauty just is."
I believe it.  So should you. Whoever you are.  
I could pick apart the picture. But I won't.
                                                          ­          Don't look for ugly.

The quote was given credit to anonymous.  Deservedly so.
Anyone anywhere at anytime can recognize beauty.
This is not a duty, choose to be dutiful in all things beautiful.

There is lacquer over the picture to protect it. The lacquer makes it shine.
I find that part ironic, protecting the beauty from spills, unkind graffiti,
from any ugly thing that might happen to it.

That might mar the beauty.

It is not an easily recognizable coastline,
not a celebrity coastline
or a model coastline
or a physically outstanding coastline,
no archways of rocks
or large rocks
that have stood the test of time and erosion and wind and well, pollution.

"Beauty just is" so accept your beauty.  

I am not talking to your cat or my dog, the aquarium or the stable full of horses, all those animals do not measure life in terms of beauty, only we, humans do.  Animals do not judge anything on the basis of beauty, smell maybe, not necessarily good smells but strong smells, even odours.

Only we humans; also decry, put down,
use the word ugly
and write each other
off,
for not being beautiful.

But "beauty just is", beauty just is. Period.

If you are talking about a piece d'art and
you are going to shell out cash, from your stash,
make sure you buy something significantly important to you and beautiful.

As for another human being...

You have not the right or responsibility to say that someone is not beautiful.
I do not think there is
one person with the wisdom,
alive to recognize what makes
each of us beautiful.

Beauty just is, no parts, no assembly required, accept it, accept one another.

I know there are those that already get it.
I don't want them to read this and sweat it.

They don't need to. I want the bully to read this, out loud.
Beauty JUST IS. You might not get it, yet.
Keep rolling it thru your mind, a beautiful surprise awaits you.
Meditate on it.
Meditate on not the author of the quote, he is anonymous, but the Creator of beauty is not.
Be surprised, as this revelation once understood, will change your perspective on life,  after all you're beautiful too.

Originally done by © DWE 2011-5-11
I was a coach and we learned to teach skills part-whole method or whole-part method.  If you read into it a little, you either break a skill down to its' simplest part and reassemble it to a more successful WHOLE or you complete the whole skill and only correct the PARTS which are not up to *****.
I want the spouse whose greatest entertainment is how embarrassed a spouse can be made to feel in front of others, by comments on physicality that are made with no remorse, followed by JUST JOKING.
Recognize how much beauty you have missed your whole life, you can change, just as beauty is, you'll figure it out.  I know I sound naive, so don't let your self down, surprise me.

Written in response to a tough coaching situation.
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Apr 2013 · 364
Words by the thousands, for one Pictue
Ottar Apr 2013
Words by the thousands, for one Pictue
Eternity, a long time.  It seems along time away.  Forever.
I do not have, that long to live, breathing. I hope to experience Eternity.

One day.

I have heard, so have you, that a picture is worth a thousand words, I want to write
thousands of words to get the picture of Eternity, and get it right.

There is one way.

I have heard that words can fail you, that is when music speaks. If words are my only voice
and poetry and prose are the only notes that are on key........
Do you.. will you recognize the song?
Can you sing along, so
I do not sing, out loud;
Alone.

If I paint a story with my pen or construct a vast
array of sentences, to fill the void,
please read it and bring it to life;

thump, thump,

in the emptiness,
feel for a pulse,
bring your face close,
to catch the signs of life;

A breath.

I am desperate here.
I am wanting; to ink stain, computer character,
and burn a memory in the muscle of your conscious
and unconscious.

I AM.

My arms can not open to hug anyone, if I hug my self to protect my self from the
darkness, in the world that slays
innocents without, regard for their
thoughts, their breath or what they speak; not a
word.

Winter waits. Cold comes. Freezing rain falls.
Seek the shelter, that opens its doors to the cry of
your heart; that still beats, the beats through time
and space and beyond reason; that, IT, echos

across... a cross

Spring follows, Summer simmers until the Fall,
which brings an end to the seasons, which again
are whitened purely by Winters frost; snow
hibernation and too frozen
death.

If you suffer; somewhere someone has suffered more. You are not alone,
left out in the cold although some are; in places that do not have chilly temperatures
they are treated worse than as if they were living in the most severe of winter conditions.

Punished.

This cycle of seasons is not experienced by all parts of Earth; the whether, or weather still leads on and results need to invert the status quo for mankind to survive, for you to
live eternally.  Experience the eternal.

Accepted.

Originally done by DWE 2011-12-15
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Apr 2013 · 318
Going Coastal
Ottar Apr 2013
Going Coastal
I am here on this coast, come on over it is toasty, we can watch together the sun go down,
There you are where ever it is, that you left me, for awhile I did smile but know I frown.
I am still here waiting to hear from you my beauty, it seems your phone number has changed.
There you are somewhere please correct or refute me, has your address moved or am I deranged?
I am still here, on the coast, returned mail piling up, you are no longer in my feed, do you even follow me?
There you are no longer on Facebook, you haven't opened my e-mails, what am I to do, play hide and seek, do I look like a creep?
I am still here, going coastal, your family won't return my calls, all your friends point their fingers and put the blame on me.
There you are living your life, all alone, what did I do to drive you away, and hey by the way where is my car?  
I am here,
gone coastal, not fishing,
can't find you or my car,
jokes on me hardee har har,
now
really
please, I won't lurk or be irked, come
home, and bring the car, and keys
I'm still making payments on the loan.
Relationships always a work in progress wink wink
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Apr 2013 · 2.0k
What is in a name (unofficial Ode to bill)
Ottar Apr 2013
What is in a name (unofficial Ode to bill)
My name is bill, no capitalization, required,
the Writer will be ill, soon, once he gets me,
or my friends in the mail, my cousin e bill.

Won’t be far behind, a marvel of technology!

I am famed and legendary, but be wary,
we attack in groups and bunches and
don’t rely on hunches that you settled with us.

We don’t make a fuss or a muss, we will cut
off your cable, and internet, see?
Hydro and Natural Gas you can ill afford
to miss, we do pay dates, instead of play dates.

So if you don’t pay up we are through
with you, hope you can find your self in
the dark, call us and we will talk until your
cell phone loses power or they drop your
call from their towering collection.

So with affection,
from us named bill,
make a plan and a will,
to pay us on time, after
all it is your dime, until it
is ours, all ours.

You can take that to the bank,
but we will do it for you too!
Save you the trip...

signed the

bills

P.S.(we were going to list a few,
but we don’t name names, we
just collect Presidents and Prime Ministers,
they may be dead or royalty, but they are
acceptable to faceless nameless ones,called
bill(s), Thanks!)



©DWE042013
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Apr 2013 · 561
Deprivation
Ottar Apr 2013
Deprivation
Sleep I come, wait for me to drift.
Let me drift and gently land as far
away from my insane day, the gift
of escape.

Sleep I need to escape I plead; no, not
to fall again and startle awake, crying out
and draw the unwanted immersion, caught  
in the net of  the bete noire.

Softly, sweetly sleep we are falling off the edge
and waving to the conscious world,  off the ledge
as my eyelids flutter, while right, awake, and wrong
all stutter behind my eyes.

I can still feel the beast and name it Insomnia,
pulling at my nerves, stimulating tension where,
it is not welcome, pull me deeper sleep, let us
find that soft lit pit.

I desire so...to drift.

No not the dark cave with the bright lights of
the beast Insomnia, not again or again, the fall that I
awake from just before I in a landing where sleep awaits,
and have mercy,
of the early 3:47 am, sitting straight up in bed,
as I though I had heard a noise.

Please quiet my mind and let me drift...

"It is 5:19 in the morning... on Wednesday the 24th of April and
here is your traffic update...."
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Apr 2013 · 4.7k
Let me introduce,...
Ottar Apr 2013
Let me introduce,...
My pen, the shovel, you have one too,
that digs for nuggets,
of gold and finds coal.

Messy writing shuffle,
pen and ink, hug its
place on my paper soul.

The trick is like finding truffles,
writing to spread the fungus,
add heat, duress, be an atoll,
and
you may
produce a gem
a diamond in the rough is
still a diamond.
Under the influence of too much DARK chocolate...
Continue reading...
Apr 2013 · 463
Finding Her Way
Ottar Apr 2013
Finding Her Way
Look into her eyes, if she will let you,
she will look down and away, I'll bet you,

She may point to this or show you that,
All to distract,
so you don't
notice that she is

l o s t.

She pays a price, at what cost?
For every (anti) or social interaction.
Therapy, it, is or she might hide in her hidie hole,
so she is not found, by that black cloud carrying
Troll.

If you see her,
If you meet her,
you need to know,
that it may not show, she is finding her way.

The dark clouds ring her crown and may obscure
her worldly view, she knows what to do!

Paint herself onto paper, disappear in a vapour,
you will find her on the page, finding her way.

There are days when we occupy the same space,
we don't see eye to eye or face to face,

the distance across the room, seem miles apart.
She needs me there on that shore, when she is in the trough
of a stormy wave, it might help her to find her way.

Don't

load her

up or use

all of her spoons,

she can't cope and be

found...

finding her way.
NaPoWriMo, Mental Health, Depression
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Apr 2013 · 264
This Haiku Stinks
Ottar Apr 2013
This Haiku Stinks
Lying beside her,
I wish she didn't smell of
fish, dog needs a bath.
Continue reading...
Apr 2013 · 487
Xiety
Ottar Apr 2013
Xiety
I am going to a vacation resort,
                                           of a sort,
    all inclusive, no cost, it is free.
you see it is like this;
The only rating Stars are the ones I did see,
when the blood pressure goes up, yipee.

It is only for adrenaline junkies,
your heart will pound and race,
       you may get red in the face,
your breath will come in gasps,
                 fall short or be a raspy,
                        sounds like f'n fun.

I may laugh, I may cry,
My mind will be distracted
       (a comment redacted)
or even at a stand still.

I won't be able to think at all.
I only bought one ticket,
                      at the wicket,
The agent said I have a lifetime of reservations,
more than he knew,
won't be my last trip,
they are holding my next fares, looking for
available dates,
sorry you can't join me, they meant the calendar kind.

Besides,
it is my secret hideaway,
and mine alone,
there is a whole industry built around me, myself and I.
The place well it is well named, the village of An,Xiety.
                                                       ­                        population 1.

Oh, I heard there might be an opening at a place nearby,
                                             a little bigger, the town of Wor,Ry.
I break into a cold sweat thinking  we might be on vacation,
so close together!
I just had one of these and it was like a game of frozen tag, but I hadn't been tagged yet.
Mind would not move, body was stopped, glad I wasn't in traffic etc.
No offence to anyone who goes through this more often than I, you are, very courageous.
Continue reading...
Apr 2013 · 492
He Dreams Celtic
Ottar Apr 2013
He Dreams Celtic
His heavy soiled worn
work boots, are set aside on
the woven mat in the corner of the room,
behind him.

Picking up the violin and bow,  with rosin
sticking, tuning as he moves across the open, lofted
space
in preparation of play.  And by playing,
the chatter and noise of his work day far and away,
from this private space were no longer a distraction.  They were behind him,
now he had completed a new song, knew it by heart,
as it was from his…
with the sounds and notes soaring above the vaulted
ceiling rafters, he was getting that feeling that comes
with his play.

He began to dance for his audience of One.
the music was his, but with it he asked for forgiveness,
for his thoughtless ways on those days when he cared not for,
any other living soul than his own. Then a heaviness in
the flow, the rhythm, lead him to a place where he knew he
was forgiven now and forever from before he or this song,
were ever birthed.

He dreams Celtic.

Arms moving as he played, feet lifting and placed,
jumping from note to note, to land and lift again. And again.

Lightly.

He dreams Celtic.

He paused, so did his music as did his play
and he stared his work boots down.
Then he quickly he began again fingers dancing over
the strings,
as feet danced across the floor, he knew
that in playing his music there was joy,
in his past there was a history,
that told a story every-time
he played
because he dreams Celtic.

Though the day may tax him,
it was able to be tamed, for
his dreams of music are reality
and he dreams Celtic.


DWE 2013-04-21
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Apr 2013 · 529
Well, Well, Unwell
Ottar Apr 2013
Well, Well, Unwell
Diamonds on the wall of my blue room,
Dark chocolate by my bed, unable to enjoy,
Colourless whine poured out, it is just a ploy,
Sunshine through the blind of my tomb.

Oh pity where is thou sting, that barbed song you sing,
Oh death where is thy mercy that you grant,
Life won't be able to nag at me and rant,
What the  "Na Na Na na Na na, hey hey goodbye", brings.

My ears hear sour notes, my tongue taste flat ones,
How did I get here so fast, when I started last,
Finished first, did I cheat the torture of my past,
Racing my engine, beating itself, while I dream reruns.

Well,
well,
unwell,
once again, drifting off leave me be, let me nap till after three,
grant my heart a rest for Monday comes and another test.

DWE 2013-04-21
Continue reading...
Apr 2013 · 502
When you read poetry, any poetry, my poetry...
Ottar Apr 2013
When you read poetry, any poetry, my poetry...
Be listening to the Adagio in G,
When you go for a walk, any walk, or walk all alone, lonely
Be listening to the Adagio in G minor,
When you look South, where your life has gone, without you,
The clouds are moving bringing rain and storms, to spite you,
Be listening to the Adagio in G minor for strings and *****,
When careless words leave scars, like someone keying your car,
When thoughtless people talk like you are not there or anywhere
How soon, you wonder when things will change, if, for the better?
Be listening to the Adagio in G minor for strings and ***** composed by
Remo Giazotto.
And, snap out of it!
Inspiration provided by:
Adagio in G Minor, for Strings and ***** Composed by Remo Giazotto
Song:Adagio in G Minor for Strings and *****
Album: The 50 Most Essential Pieces of Classical Music
Performed by: The London Festival Orchestra and Alberto Lizzio
Continue reading...
Apr 2013 · 370
Is It Real
Ottar Apr 2013
Is It Real
The world in my head,
with my mind's eye, a world view,

I can't see the ends of the earth, the Earth,
from here, is it real?  I mean,

the hate the fear I taste on the wind without,
even reading the news or watching tv,

as I step out my door is it real?
I could name names but if

they looked deeply into my past,
they would find something to shame, shame

me about.  Is it real?
They way we treat one another, like

twisted brothers and sisters,
family, who needs them when,
we act, is it real, the act?

Is it real, all the stuff you touch and
see, whether or not you like me or

what I type and say off the cuff,
is it real this stuff, I mean, is

it real important?  That person right
in front of you, in that moment or the next

Or is the one who is always with,
is that the Real, ...it is.
Continue reading...
Apr 2013 · 822
Odd Reflection
Ottar Apr 2013
Odd Reflection
Young One tries to hide her frowning face
I see the scars, the open sores,
Her hair hangs such away in place,
The world sees what she ignores.

Reality.

It has been a while since she had a fix,
Hood up, Eyes darting right and left,
Just looking like she'd been  in a conflict,
Width birth achieved, looking possessed.

Anti-society.

The other Older bends around to light her smoke,
head shielding the wind,  straggled hair showing,
She steps off the curb into traffic,  without a hope,
But the cars don't stop, loud honking and horn blowing.

Climactic.

Leaping back to the curb and looking up at the light,
in disbelief, swears a blue streak that it was her turn,
Defiant waves her smoke in her fist, it was "her right"
Paths about to cross, Past and Future, would they discern?  

The two come face to face, not recognizing, looking stern.

Anti-climactic.
Continue reading...
Apr 2013 · 545
Out of Round
Ottar Apr 2013
Out of Round
There are many wiser people, (wo)man,
where, wiser words, phrases that people can
say,
but  speak with love from lips with a,
voice, of reason with grace in time, peace, one day
mercy,
will be the contagion that will infect,
all, these are not soft words to find, to dissect,
great,
loss to learn, and more to achieve, demand,
cost, many lives and hard lessons, over and
over,
are we learning slowly or is the cause, wheels of
suspicion, turning on one another, afraid of strange ideals, of
who,
we are as people that say wise words, destruction
changing, not the greed, the need to be that percent, the seduction,
out,
of reach, out of touch, soiled-free lives, unrealistic
among, a common world, of uncommon people, heuristic
amazing,
solutions in lives where character is determined by the
grit, of coarse!

The globe spins,
smoother with
each rotation,
what winds,
blow us to
the ground , do
you stay down
or get back
up to meet
the next
blustery gust?
Today can you count the puns -1 or more...
The rhythm is stutter stop, just like they way we as HUMANS have
p r o b l e m s
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Apr 2013 · 603
Everybody needs one
Ottar Apr 2013
Everybody needs one
Whether you be a dog or cat lover,
You need at least one,

Something to demand attention or hover.
I have shared several cats from birth till now,

I have shared several dogs too,
From birth till today around fifty something,wow.

That's my age, not cats and dogs,  7 cats and 5 of the others,
Felines and canines are best of my friends,

(no offence) Closer than sisters, which I have none, and brothers.
Which I have one. Now back to the cats and dogs.
I do not know if they end up in heaven, I could spout or refute
theologically, but I do know this, how you treat them,
does not go unnoticed by the One who created them, so cute.

If they will be there on the Golden Ways where Diamonds are the norm,
if that is even up for debate, I think I would be
the one turned away from the gate, for missing the point, bad form.
He loves all of creation, and who is He to ask man for his advice?

Look at what we have done lately with fossil fuels and the price of rice!
Man is lost without God, like leaving a dog when you go out the door,
He gave us a beacon, 'cuz we need hope!
They wonder why you left without them and will you be back for sure.
It is not their lack of faith, it is not that they do not trust,
They just don't know if you'll come back!

How is it, God looks our way as we have sinned and fallen short, we are not pure,
But for Jesus, we cannot save ourselves, we need a Saviour,

Everybody needs one, sometimes they have fur, they always watch you
and rejoice, for the day you make the choice, and accept that you are human,

To accept that your best is what is tested, when you own a dog or a cat,
That He uses their eyes to not to watch you but measure your soul,

Angels are around and weave through time, owning a pet is a test, imagine that,
Have I ever sat at His feet like my dog has laid at mine...a price paid, no toll

Ever watch a cat go to the one who dislikes them the most?
Think if He said, He was showing up as Father, Son and Holy Ghost?
Would you go?

Life by God, is more than what you see with your two eyes,
For it starts with awe of the beauty and the wonder in complexity,
then the Unseen, goes way beyond simplicity!

Everybody needs time, which God bends to His will, my
point is this, we are the pinnacle of His art, yet we fight Him
from the start, Everybody needs one moment in time,
and it is different for all and each, gut check, heart check.

Go through life with zest and vigour, instead of pantomime.
Actions may speak louder than words, other than those few,
"Lord forgive me, for what I have done, I have sinned and
nailed your Son to a tree on Calvary."

Everybody needs the One,
Jesus His Son.
Continue reading...
Apr 2013 · 417
Oh to dream, like my dog
Ottar Apr 2013
Oh to dream, like my dog
She has her head on the stuffed bear on the bed.
It is a cushion or a prop for her curly crop head.
She snuffles she snorts, on guard and in bed.

She may be game, and she may not have grace.
The blanket she lies on is the softest place.
Oh she falls so heavily into that dreamy space.

Oh to dream,

Take me, with you I will run too, we will catch those
rabbits and jump those fences landing on our toes,
side by each, with the other, and who knows?

I may wake and know you well, You...
You may wake and know me better, I will...
I will know, what it is to have you as a best friend.
Continue reading...
Apr 2013 · 2.8k
Truer Value
Ottar Apr 2013
Truer Value
All...that sparkles,
Glimmers
Gleams
Shimmers it seems,
Remarkable
Spark
Not just jewellery,
There are
Gems,
who are people,
can't be worn,
can't be bought,
can't be tagged...
So you will know,
if you have to ask
the Creator may
   take you to task,
as they are priceless.
Continue reading...
Apr 2013 · 619
Poet's Age
Ottar Apr 2013
Poet's Age
It is late and I have a date with the sunrise,
Lay down now, pillow soft, closing my eyes,
Oh, we will cross worm word paths and surprise!

Poems will spill from us, as we journey,
under sun or stars or on our aging knees,
Each day we share our joy or misery, equally.

Be kind to yourself, dust off your shelf,
that you have sat, like some sombre elf,
holding your passion inside the flesh itself.

Passionate embrace with the moment of inspiration,
****** with keys or pencil or ink that run with creation,
Go Poet! this is your age to write out your frustration.

Write about love, wield that one with care,
Write about life, encourage those to not despair,
Write with less, fewer words to say more is rare.
Continue reading...
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