The waves hit


Aftershocks

Crying, screaming
Then still waters.
Silent cold freezes our perceptions.
We walk on the water hand in hand.

Circle's intentions.
Time's intentions.
Solace. Unity.
A record of movement.
How? Blood. Solidified.
Shared separation, soon to shake hands,
but in the mean time...
scratching.
clacking.
crumbling.
melting.
Stories to tell, stories told. Ears to fill in the verbose silence.
Science. Colors.
Origins and reconciliations.
And still, be still.
The rocks will whisper
Circle's intentions.
Time's intentions.

temples of time
coloring my hands
my apparatus for creation
of things seen in the mind's eye
catch what falls from the sky inside
juxtapose yourself for once
make yourself symmetrical

we are a continuity of memories
we are a one of many chains of events

my protons
my codons

copies
self similar
life creating life
an ever sprouting flower
and waiting on the next turn
is one more glimpse
at the great mystery

think large
you are spiraling towards
an event horizon
every end result of every action
will be held on the surface of a point of no return

what do you do?
with your
drop of a
drop of a
drop of a
drop of a
drop of a
drop of
time in an ocean?

well for starters learn to swim
then remember you're water

go towards the shadow of true beauty
an arrow of eros to guide your shine

light in the sky
catching an eye

eros in the wind
ethos in the mind
body aligned
i'm not confined
except the lack of ethos in my mind
and the lack of eros in my heart
and the lack of courage in my will

find it in everything around you.

As the mediums
between ideas and sensations
we have a responsibility
for that which the gods can only be objects of.

And we carry it like wishes on the wind
towards the point of no return
never forgotten,
never gone to begin with.

My hands move and the trees move
If you take a moment to reflect the trees existence in your own,
you receive a reflection of your existence from the tree.

So it goes, this is Nascor
Latin for to be born
And isn't this all we have done?
All the narratives fall under Nature,
the future participle of Nascor.

The key is to play in time.
You are being asked to sing, dance, breathe, eat, and drink.
These are ways to stay in homeostasis with the environment
in rhythm to the music

But guess what?
We can know what it's like to be others.
We do it to people we know
We can do it to collectives
and worlds of thoughts
but also
to animals and plants
and whatever we look at
we can try to put ourselves in its shoes.

You simply gesture in the manner corresponding to its behavior
to receive another gift.
The dualistic forms dance under the grace
of everything and nothing in their shadows.
It's a spiritual practice
to speak to anything.

What have I known, what do I know?
Smiles make me stop and stare.
Those moments.
oh -
Those perfect moments.
I have to stare a little longer.
Linger on your motions.
Your eyes catch mine.
We both have to look away, it is to much
for sight                    for words                    for sounds.
These feelings.
I can reminisce about us.





I remember when I was happy.
I could hold God in my hands.

I am so happy that

you.
And I.

Exist.

It is because of all of you.


I barely make it through the day when I see you.
You see my heart skips a beat...
and then another.

Sometimes I pretend we photographed the escapades of light.
Sometimes I remember the tents on the ocean.
Sometimes I pretend we have seen sun rises.
Sometimes I pretend that we go places no one dares to go.
Sometimes I remember the brevity of our moments.

But don't you remember?
Those are memories.


I don't believe it.
I love you.

Do you ever get bothered by the habit
of making your habits not bother you?

We have clocks that whisper
find your rhythm
but really what is said is
our rhythm will find you

This is a conspiracy theory of the highest degree
Are we conditioned to condition ourselves to die by conditioning?

The most dangerous habit
could be lip service

because you may forget
how to actually meet another person

What TV do you watch? What books do you read?
Oh I love that one
He is SO funny in that movie!

There are some monsters whose appetites for souls are insatiable.
They live in between the words.
We're all food for something.
What are we feeding?

So it's Summer.
Another part of me gone. Another seed swallowed.
Blue entrancing. Green hypnotizing.

These colors are wreaking havoc on my critical reasoning.
My bleached body shakes, sun singing shivers to me.
I dye it blue and my skin crisply peels.
Open my eyes, and again Green.
Green falling in my hair and Green wind whispering.
Green hissing stories of much time and plans unfurling.

And then the Green circles.
Please, not the round pools...
I drowned. Swallowed the Green it went inside.
Absorbed me and when the darkness spread it wasn't the end.
In the abyss, deeply drowning deeply dying,
in those Green pools floating.
A flip, a blink, a twitch.
Then Blue. My circles. My reflection standing.
The current must have brought me here to safety.
In the lapse of time
when the circles eclipsed,
between the
blinks
and
stares


I fell in love. Green love. Much to quickly.
When will I learn my lesson?

Washes of lashes ruffling of nails
pulling of flesh ******* the ground.

Green eyes
Bright lies.

Fingers brush lips.
Shivers whispers
Whimpers Winters

White skies
Closed eyes.

The ground heavy on my feet, I can't fly.

Green eyes.
Bright lies.

Holding another mind in my mind (I'm in love with it)
Ice glass shatters and I twist in the dark.
The potential! The potential!
BRIGHT.
LIES.
Love can strike a face, so deceitful when the heart has not been heard.
I wanted our lips as mine, your fingers in my thighs,
the heart in your chest and our feet entwined.
I stuttered and froze in time.
Satisfied with keys, striking keys.
Satisfied with paper of your Green eyes.
Don't ask about the depths I tread, but please...
how do you sound?

Invited to a hunt I'm afraid of what's hunted.
In that pivot point two lovers were united
leaving me with Green eyes.
How did I dive this far down?

You must have hypnotized me.

You caught me falling asleep when you close your eyes,
and you met me half way to the river where our dreams swim in the currents of time.
The silence in the night soaks through the blankets,
seeps through our eyelids,
but it never captures our minds.
I'll meet you there always, that house out of time.
We'll be carried to that place on an eddy from owl wings.
A passenger in my eyes
Blink away the last world of soft cats and dragon kites.
Blink again to invite skeletons holding hands.
Blink again and hands will move,
skin shimmering at the five finger dance.

Why don't you pretend you are everything
and then look into a mirror
then we'll talk.
there is always someone dancing with you somewhere
7 billion people here,

rocking it in our humble spot on an arm of god
dancing around the eye of the storm
in our own little veil
on the fabric of the field of play
in a hallway of mirrors
and in the movement of the line of you that goes forever
music plays at the speed of light
so fast you can barely see it move through you
as it is one song of every song
we are skipping stones spinning around skipping stones
with the ripples coloring our minds.

I hope you know
the way I touch your hands
they are a part of you,
I could never fully understand these wrinkles
and tendons
and the dirt under your nails.
Just like mine.
I just want to hold your hand.
Then a tear
Right on your thumb
spreads through the dirt and makes mucky water
It is very similar to the slums of India.
I see your face.
Oh - and I can't even understand your hands.
You make me shiver.

and it's like waking from a dream again and again
sometimes thunder sometimes water
and a flicker a whisper
caught between the states
liminal memory
time and my person
twisted and spread onto
flickering forms
neurons dancing in
absolution contempt bliss disgust
feeling like it's feeling
but it's just a spiral, a dance
something akin to noodles
or light
or noodles and light

Time unfurls
like a lotus in the hand.
Plant spirits splitting overhead.
The sky unfolds into spiraling stars.

Baptism.

Words in the air
Your mind in your heart
Your eyes to your soul.
Time unfurls
like a lotus in the hand.
Here you are!
Splays of color
Don't be afraid don't keep them in a bottle
Open the top, splatter a pattern.

I dance alone and countlessly wonder
if you're as confused as I am
I want to fall in love again
I want to find your gaze
and feel violated and connected
and be confused about what it is you mean
and what you mean to me
it's all some sultry dream.
I want your kisses again
I want you in my dreams again.

In my memories I find you.
We are infinite at every point.

Midnight on still waters
with the kayak pointed towards the moon.
You kept yourself in your pocket all of those times you wanted me to stay
and didn't say a word.
Alas, a smile can still be drawn.
And we reminded each other that this is what we live for.

Laughter shakes us in the back of the class
While to each other we confess
about love that hurts
finally able to say it
in a world that we're told that gender rules the heart.
We smile together, share the secret of the truth.
And we reminded each other that this is what we live for.

A family adopts me and I learn I'm not alone.
My smiles made real, and bus rides become
enriching to my soul.
I ripped books, bit knee caps, cried on the floor
and you always opened the door to your home
with each creek of the swinging entrance, my heart opened that much more.
Chips, soda, 3 AM fast food, video games.
What doesn't **** you makes you stronger.
And we reminded each other that this is what we live for.

New apartment, new friends.
We sat at the train station, platform 4974.
we learned about inspiration, about how two people can feed
off of each other, and find more on their plates
than when they started.
Entheogenic adventures parked in cars, laughing in trees.
We have our moments that aren't our moments, something like being crazy.
But I never told you that I need you.
The explanation always turns sour, but that's the tragedy of the poet
So much lost between the moment and the word.
Yet a smile can still find us, and we know what happy tears are.
And we reminded each other that this is what we live for.


The truth is that this is timeless.
We points on this infinite ocean.
Probability says we would have never met.
Yet I know your eyes.

I just wanted to let you know,
that this is what I live for.

Write in the fields,
hold your sister close,
everything is changing
and you are going to be whisked away.
She will smile at you when your hands part ways
and the auctioneer casts the final decision.
Sold.
Ownership of persons has split bodies,
but the love permeates through time.
In a smile, love rides everything.

And in another place, the invaders ride over the horizon,
and we melt into the hill side.
No one can catch us singing in the wind.
No one will harm us dancing in the sun.

Laughter is the best medicine, even in
the somber circles of ascension.
Stalks of grass pulse with our hearts.


In the fires, we all become ash and the space in between.
Like it's said with everything.

The bells are off
Another friend never by your side
Tip toe around the sky
Genuflect before time
You breath in
and then out
holding hands in a field
Crystal crickets echo Autumn
Winter whispers for dreams

Don't complicate things.

We are Spring
Reassured in Summer

Music is begging you to dance
Each touch leaving you wanting more
Flowers, yes, come closer.
A sizzle on the tongue
and your mouth waters
Brush the hair from your eyes
and you swear
it was much more than that
you whisper
it's always more than this

We gave each other words to build worlds
and we shared ours as one world.
Enraptured with our own eyes
and the comet dust we played with between them
We forgot about poison that we as humans must carry.

Who's was the spider?
Who's was the snake?

Neither, it was poison that humans make.
All that "we are all connected" is just like Pandora's Box.

We held each other in our hollow spots,
perhaps because we both thought the other
had that spot whole.

Maybe that's why
we both murdered those who were foolish enough
to fall in love with love
and think that it was us.
How vile we were, for we get close enough to slip the poison through a kiss.


I told you that there was a way for me to consider you dead.
What I meant was that there is a way for you to die
in that world we created in the dancing comet dust.
We'd be immortal in that world, was what we thought.
but we die without a heart.

And I realized
that I needed to know the beats of my heart
as it fell for another
and I needed to know
why I chose to **** them.
and I needed to know
who had killed me.

And we're beautiful.
So we fit the bill perfectly
to be the perfect killers.
or the surprising suicide.

What I'm saying,
is that we've had some nasty habits of trying to **** ourselves
in ways
that I used to think were unnoticeable.
And we never noticed those we ended up killing.
Until I realized
that my heart skips a beat when I break a heart.
Perhaps there is something there
in making another person your mirror
and making a reality with them
and when you walk away
from that mirror
a part of you stays with it.
Remember, it's a reflection
So a part of the mirror stays with you.

This previously unnoticeable mirror
is the eyes
and it is where I traveled
to take back what is mine
and give back what was theirs.
You gotta do it before it all shatters.

Splitting yourself up into a million pieces
is one way to **** your self.
Taking all those pieces back
is one way to make your self.

Shift out of the channels your river has dug
we gotta grow like trees
oh how slow it seems
to get to those stars

just remember
the stars are at our fingertips
but we gotta bury the dead.

Pointing our fingertips and striking the spirit.
Don't you remember the glow of a thousand stars?
The whispering sun only spoke of time.
It slowly grew to hit the earth.

Believe in Nothing.
Believe in Everything.

The point of oblivion.
The infinite embrace.

Two sides of a coin
in Father Time's pocket.
He kisses the lips of Space.
That's the case of our place in this Space.

Quantum Dreams
fill me to my seams
as I lay and question
which direction
the selection of intention
resides.

I am you
I am me
both are a possibility
in this waking dream
found in the sun
when we learn
that the earth beneath our feet
is more alive than we ever were
so pluck your heart strings
and follow the sound
that carries across the ground
and be in two places at once
when your eyes close
and your mind unfurls
out the back of your head
and tell me dreamer
of the places you go
so we may make a map
to leave for future dreamers
it's how it has always been
this is what it means to say
I am immortal
this is what it means to say
I love you

For you I can lay the secrets
Of the past thousand years bare
I profess the whispers of trees
And empty my mind of all my dreams
No one believes me the things I see
Quick to make one word out of me
Another waste of time
Romantic, naive
I'd tell you that I love you
But you never believe
I almost don't myself
If it weren't for the smiles I see
The things that I dream
If it weren't for silent nights graced by a whispering breeze
I wouldn't believe
In timeless abandon
Our species disease
Sowed by promises the stars made long ago
You think love is held in the ego?
Don't be absurd
That kind of abandon can only be timeless
So I love you all
What can I say
When my lovers insist on fighting
It splits me like lightning
Humanity what can I say
Your wounds are tender
Your scars are hard
Your stories don't mix
I get it you're ******
But I love you evermore
Even after your heart has been torn
So please stop this madness
I've had enough of you in caskets
We have plenty to do
I want to recreate the world
With you
Do you see yet what splits us in two?
Why must we insist
To not resist
The worst of things
Is it a cycle like the rain?
As inevitable as death?
Can't we rest and shed tears
Can't I hold you without fear?
I love you my dear
Because when things are clear
I know we have always been right here
Twirling in time
Being different people
But the rhyme still shines
And I'm going insane
I'd be committed by you
If I confessed what's on my mind
Rambling about love and sunshine
How there's not one thing more alive than any other
And my suspicion that we're actually all the same
Unconventional to say the least
But so was it to say there was a globe beneath our feet
So I sit here and pray
That one day it'll be obvious
And in the mean time I hold the rain
Because I promised to catch your tears

Between pulls and heat and crossing and lines lies
unease, eased between my two halves, focused to
split me in two. Sanctuary was to be unique and new.
Only the darkness was new,

for in the void

my voice was lost, and silence smothered my shaking.

There is no knife that can cut as deep as you.
Baptisms save no one...reassurance of mind is nice though.
My mind and my room, filling us inside and out.
All of the little things I barely use.
The same things, done and done.
Words become repetition just as the Earth and Motion.
And what of the countless people who take their dreams and write them on paper
as they take their lives, and write them on paper?

Don't go  striking slowly, spoke the spirit.  
Remember the glow of a thousand stars?  
Decay won't rot memories filled with Sun.

Nowadays nothing is in reach.
My ideas bounce off empty walls, with failure echoing back to my ears.
Paper doesn't sing,
Crystals don't produce the right pixels.
Music is hacked to pieces.
Every moment lacks depth.
Life has turned into television, starring a statue.
A cold one at that.

I thought
that it was so
obvious.
My thoughts
splayed open,
wrapping fingers in hair until
the water drains
    spins in a spiral.
Your
   god
      ****
        green eyes.
Where are you?
In the corridors
Behind my eyes.
In my veins, sending me sensations
through veiled fabrics.
Tug, retrieve pieces of my heart
You finally said the words I needed
   I didn't say it back,
Instead, I let you share gazes,
and nothing was left behind when our souls combined.
    I was about to say it,
but...sun, heat, darkness
I retreated to the surface.
I left everything behind except the words on this page.

Echoes lost, each ripple straight from the core.
Drawn for clarity, crooked fingers write sincerity.
I can't hold me inside me, what about you?
It pours through my pores, shaking me apart into light, rotation.
Differences converge.
Collapses into skin, bones, capillaries.
Dirt, rocks, trees.

"Slow memories of galaxies spinning" spoke Rots.  
Remember I'm filled with a thousand decaying stars.

Glowing memories.
"Decay slowly rots the spirit" spoke Remember  
I'm filled with a thousand stars.

Spinning  memories.  
"IV stars left" said the Void

The hallways our voices travel in are ancient,
I want to carve with water
and drip away with fire.
Beauty is nothing but you.
I'll whisper in the creatures
about all the big small things
that our eyes simply choose to see.

Where there is God there is rain.
In the skies
In the skies

Let's dive in
It's a wonder that we're here at all.

What is the secret to consistency?
What does it take to become possessed?
I will not survive this pace of time,
the lines are breaking, which way will I chase?
It's a choice I cannot renew.
Perhaps I will ruin the surprise by never having one.
With these rotations my mind will not change.
Dwelling on all the things I've never done takes my real time.
Consumes it.

Self fulfilled prophecy,
Manifest destiny!
Rush forward to apathy, crush all inside me.
I'm always so unsure (but never consistently).
I'm tired of my mind
I'm tired of my mind

Void
All

what lies in the sky?
what roams in my heart?

is it all found
dancing between the boundaries of particles?
is it all found
in the hallways of the multiverse?

where lies the sky?
is it in my heart?

where roams my heart?
is it in the sky?

Drops dashing, air oscillating.
Eyes, averted.
The continual game, hide and seek with a sacred caress.
Eyes, reflecting.
Feedback, at that spot near god.
Close to the center, and with mouths shut, god pushes away.
Tell me, do you know? Do you know?
All this chatter with very little chatter about the chatter.
Sure we are conscious.
Direct your blood, count the beats, and soon, very soon.
We will be conscious of being conscious and flicker with the wavering kiss thrown to space that landed on god's lips.

Sometimes it strikes me
the beautiful things have such fragility
the dog's ear perking up
clouds close to the mountain
pulses keeping our eyes open

I for one haven't been given a satisfying answer
Except for the trivial solution
                                                    Obli­vion.
what is it for?
All I see is miracles spewing forth
But what's it all for?
My heart yearns for more
Amidst all the temporality
Am I the things outside me?

We all know to question if our glass is half empty or half full
but if we take that glass and half it we can change the whole view
once a glass half full now a half glass full
now the leaves are shaking and it’s a stream straight to heaven
nestled between your ear and the sound of the ocean
now you know your lover forever more
and what it really means to say goodbye
to a precious gaze in this maze
now you see life is full
of a terrible beauty
where nothing is sure if it’s dreaming
and the moon eclipsed is just another eye closing
now you can look up at the sky and notice it’s gleaming
the stars are shaking, into light they are breaking
such a beautiful sight
this world in the making
so go to the edge of the river with your glass overflowing
shed all your tears as rain for the falling
just let your heart beat in its motion
this time around
your tears are an ocean

And suddenly again it's seen
that birds singing really is God singing
I laugh
You laugh
Others laugh
at what boils over inside.
Again it's seen
repetition no longer an insult to being unique
What a relief.
Drink tea.
Don't you see?
It's a sea.

So I sit
Reading about chaos
Zoos of strange and particular attractors
Thinking that about sums it up.

You're in my dreams
The tides of time
Holding me in your sight
for as long as I might
pretend the light
is right
at night

You're in my dreams.

Catalyze
Synthesize
Shrink down, I'll meet you at Jupiter
I have me, and the world I create
Let's weave,
let's meet
Biodynamically recreate the paradigm of speak

Speak.
A world awaits on each syllable
With sentences speak double double speak.

And so I sit
Reading about chaos
Strange attractions
Particular attractions
Let's rip it to pieces of numbers and see what happens

Happenstance approaches.
According to you, you are
right where you are
which is here.
Heresy!

In it all emergence occurs
everyday is new, and you are as the sun
Bringing a seed to the palm of a lover is all I have
and time.

I have lots of time.

Our hearts are only pieces of the ocean
waiting for the turn of the tide
the wave that brings the vision
of pieces put together
when the stars and the trees and the ocean
are together in one tapestry
our hands are waiting to grasp eternity
our tears are waiting to flow freely
this entire time our breath is
grasping for another dip into reality
inevitably connected to all things seen
evermore pieces in motion
sometimes falling into place in wondrous formations
even as it falls apart only halfway woven

When I'm alone
the noise is gone
I'm myself again
and I have a box
I'm whispering in
It's a gift for others
and I know they'll most likely hear it
in their own empty room
when they too
break apart into art
We'll touch the edges of creation
lightning arcs on hearts

Lightning fingertips
and my vision is gone
perhaps I'm dreaming
and a four letter word cant compare
to this nostalgia in the air
and the kisses of the sun
are so close to you my dear
It's a contact high
seeping into romantic bones

What story do I want in my life?
The American Dream, and I'm sitting here paralyzed
Kingdoms unfolding in front of me
All these visions and schemes
What's my right? What's my right?
With all my ineptitude and inadequacy
sloth and fear my ambitions inhibited
but I'm having infinite visions
sometimes it's clear in my mind
sometimes it's clear in my mind

unfolding pages glued from my past desires
something done brings flutters to my chest
I've been dazed my darling, such a haze
The nights are long and the flowers are in their own sleep
The sun saw me for a moment or two
spinning with a view, I touched a river too.
The nights are getting longer
Another page turned, craving absolution
Less cigarettes, but only one more drawing
When I wake from my slumber
Everything seems so vulnerable
Matter matters, that's what's the matter

Things have been changing
I'm seeing new things
when I go to mp3 sea
my screens have multiplied
my appetite rectified
but I'm still a primitive mind
trying to find my kind
things have been changing
minds on overdrive
scrutiny sharpened twice
still dancing under stars

but I whisper what is life?
and balance between abject terror
and blissful surrender
but now I'm chanting between my breathing
I know nothing
I know nothing
Just a piece of a part of some kind of art
and things have been changing.
Screens and dreams
People and scenes
I suppose I'm a summation and something in between.

Here it is again
the shadow of creation
reminding me of the difficulties of delicacy
we all hold onto time
as much as our hearts can
Life is fleeting again I'm seeing
I'm sorry my Darling
for never telling you I miss you
Friends, I'm yearning for our time
to be intertwining
I forgot again that we're dealing
with finite kinds
lives in the making
before entropy makes its breaking
why is it that it seems we're fighting
against a force that's meant for taking
finite divinity
hold me
a spark in the dark
a brief emergence built up from the heart

Life, you tease me
What is it again we came here to gain?
God are you there?
What's your aim?
Ashes to Ashes
I feel like a flame
that knows its fortune
dancing for it all to begin again

All these people surrounding me
sometimes you don't see them again you see
There's something precious in a soft gaze
A thousand worlds in a mind I find
the questions subtle, mutable
where is your voice from?
Familiar words, familiar faces
Ideas thought once to be mine I find in your mind
Do thoughts spread near or far?

Let the water freeze
step aside for a sec
there's something in us yet
waiting for the right time
time to break
time to make
time to gain direction