The smile that you see
Was painted on this morning,
Right after my makeup and hair were done.
The finishing touch, the mask is in place.
Now no one can see what is inside of me.

The laugh that you hear, the normal chit chat;
All made with a herculean effort.
When you look in my eyes
Do you see light shining there?
Or does the darkness still wait where no one can see?

The effort to live grows more every day,
As the pain takes over my life.
To move, to do, to just even breathe,
At times, is almost more than I can bear.
I want to stay here in my dark world alone,
Alone, so no one can see.

In my mind’s eye I see him;
Lazing on some distant shore,
Warm breezes caressing his cinnamon skin
As my calls he chooses to ignore.

In disgust I ball up the paper,
And throw it into the trash.
I send out another plea for his help,
As my ideas continue to crash.

My muse is a heartless soul.
Only showing up when he deems fit.
As you can see by this little ode to him,
He was nowhere around when I wrote it.

Tis the witching hour and I am once again locked in a battle with you, my old foe.

My love lies sleeping, unaware of the fight raging around him, and I wish it to remain so.

What has it been?  Ten years now that we fight, and each year you gain a little more ground.

You have stolen bits of my life over time, some of my joy, returning to me pain and darkness, trying to keep me down.

My face and body look young still, but it is my soul that bears the scars of our war.  You do not fight fair.

The weapon you wield most often, pain, comes and goes and the sneak attacks you use with flair.

But your ultimate weapon, The Darkness, has done the most damage and I fear it is that one thing that will allow you to win.

When The Darkness has me in his evil grip, I have no strength with which to fight the pain or his dark assault and life is at its most grim.

I long for the brief periods of time when the pain is only a dull ache and I can pretend I am again well.

But too quickly, too fast, you pounce again and we return to our war and my life, again, is hell.

One weapon I have against you is to write you out on paper.  Some may see it as complaining.

I say let them come join me in my war for one battle.  See how Pain and Darkness over my life are reigning.

Yes, Tis the witching hour and the skies dark and stormy. Your preferred time and weather for attack.

Well enemy mine, I’m awake and writing, trying hard to attack you right back.

I know who will be the ultimate winner in our war of pain, darkness and fright.

But tonight, you won’t win this battle, old foe.  I’m writing you out of my night.

Through the darkness in my head
My obsession has once again risen.
While in the throes of madness unleashed,
The evil within, unbridled, free rein was given.

What havoc was wrought and damage was done,
When society’s norms and politeness were no more.
Friendship long cultivated and relished by me
In my darkness, was damaged to the core.

Things were said, I know not what.
Things not remembered, in the darkness in my mind.
Only a message received from one held so dear.
“You overstepped the line, Friend, our ties no longer bind.”

Gone now, forever, someone once so dear,
While in the darkness, the madness, hidden in my mind.
I’ve since asked forgiveness, but the damage was great.
When caught in obsession, in madness, I was unkind.

This déjà’ vu’ we call life
Makes me feel like drowning in sadness.
It is all happening again,
Same way, same anger, same blame.
Is it even worth fighting for anymore?

Bruised and damaged, bandaged and ******
This thing we once called love.
It is gone from your eyes now.
Only anger remains; anger and accusations.

I feel the way I did then,
Fighting a losing battle,
Swimming upstream
Slowly drowning in my tears
Knowing in my heart what is to come.

Am I afraid?  I don’t know anymore.
I am not angry.  Just tired.
Some things are worth fighting for,
But how many times do I have to fight for you?

So long ago, the day we met,
It still brings a smile to my lips.
Me; hard at work in that small ER,
You; cocky and hot in your blues.

I was already seeing someone that day,
I wasn’t that impressed with you.
But you had such a cute view from behind,
Yeah, your **** is what attracted me, Dear.

When we finally met again and went out,
I liked your laugh and your hands.
I liked the way you missed your kids and
The way you held me in your arms.

We talked through the night and
Found in each other, the person we
Both had been searching for.

Now 24 years later I still get a thrill
When I see you in your uniform of blue.
Just turn and walk away from me, Babe.
Yeah, I still like that rear view.

The Ride of the Huntsman


The Queen of the Sidhe has given her command
The Huntsman gathers the hellhounds,
All of Faerie feel the shiver go round
The hunt is about to begin.
The wild Sidhe feel the call,
The joy of the hunt fills their veins,
They will run with the hounds over hill and dale
Until the creature is found.
The Huntsman blows his mighty horn,
Gathering his Fey to his side.
He mounts his fire breathing steed of night
And into the dark they will ride.
NonFaerie folk know nothing of this.
But something is making them quake.
Into their homes they quiver and hide
The realm of the Fey roam outside.
Through the night they run never stopping to rest,
The creature must pay for his crimes.
The Queen has issued the death hunt,
And tonight, something will die.
So tonight, if something calls you outside
To run with the wild Sidhe hunt
Do not disobey the Huntsman call
Or the Hellhounds will take you to ride.