Watching her play "The Entertainer" on the keyboard,

I was completely overwhelmed with a vast ocean of deep emptiness.

I've completely dived into a realm where I did not belong.

I could never belong.

But I already knew this.




I didnt know how to act or what to say.

I have nothing that has prepared me for this.




The little girl has so much excitement to see

but I could care less about her.

She is not me, and I'm not her.

There lied the initial problem.




The little boy has down syndrome.

and autism.

he is the only person I can relate to

as we share the same bewilderment towards each other.

We stare, having trouble wrapping our brains around the fact that we share the same blood.




All I can do is stare.

I can barely muster up any fake smile or laugh.

I can barely carry on a conversaton.

What am I doing here?

I feel like a ghost who realizes everyone in the room can see me.

I sit in silent anger.




All this was premeditated.

So why then, am I choking?




This house in which I sit,

This music which fills up my ears;

This was all taken away from me.

And Im the only one that really understands.




Too much time has passed for anyone to try and put a bandage on the wounds.

Too much time has passed for anyone to cap the nightmeres.

I was the only one that tried to split the gap.

I was the only one that cared.

stencils of my mind are placed onto parchment paper
they slide off the wax like bold black drops of ink
they roll and wobble to the perimeter of which jagged teeth have bitten the sheet
thouroughly slipping. thouroughly off. complete.
a flicker instant shadow peers over  drawn lines
confused of which is north and which is south; tangled in yarn and straws of twine.
configure me a format of what you think is necessary
for me to harness and cultivate like grapes of wrath and frida's portrait of sorrow and conformity.

Would you consider me a martian if it came down to it?
I wasn't ready for the consequences so I dumped it.
Would you think of me as strong because I only chose to be free?
Thinking of myself first because that's what the world needs.

We fade away. Remembering the choices that we made.
But I'll always remember you tomorrow.
Because I choose to enjoy today.

PLEASE NOTE: DIALOGUE MUST BE READ IN A BRITISH ACCENT.

and she, in dismay, said to him

                    "Benjamin, just who do you think you are sitting there with your **** out like that?!"

Annabella knew right away that what said wasn't valid.


                  "aww come on Beli, you know what a cheater smells like now dont you?"


"thats enough! go straight to your bedroom!"

                 "Im sorry bub, but we are still in this chariot, got a few more streets and alleys to be wobblin on."


"why dont you just **** my **** you french kissin mugger. I never want to see the northern lights with you."


                 "go on then ya ****. off with your head"

Based off what you're telling me, you no longer believe in magic.
you have chosen to be forgotten
you have chosen to be fatigued.

Based off what I'm seeing, your a dying soul, a fogged out rainbow
greying out of the spectrum.

I'll pity you tomorrow
Im too busy sniffing flowers.

Come to me next week and I'll have your color pallette ready

I'll rub it in your face, your skin
I'll cover you with petals and daffodillies.

There now, go to sleep
rest your eyes
become obsolete

Rest your head, never wake up
your trapped in a world of grime and muck

This is what you have chosen.
this is what you believe.
leave me to my fairies, I'll be seeing you beneath the trees.

we came up from the beach at night
the bridge doomed under a sheet of fog- orange glowing.
the bus horned down the hill like a life size slug storming to get me.
i stood up, staggering with fleet and flight. arms up in surrender.
i was told to just sit down;wave them off.
the raccoons kept staring. a thousand pairs of eyes reflecting off my lights.
i ran but the pavement kept on moving.
we were droogs in the night bending backwards and forwards possessed with heaving laughter.
we pulsated under streetlights.
we melted on walls.
we sat in silence as colorful sweat dribbled down our faces.
our eyes rolled back.
the clock struck midnight as we struggled to count our cash
we ventured to the bus stop and waited.
there, a hopeless man kept on pounding his chest; testosterone flying in the air.
i merely took the greens he offered and left.
thanks.
i was late for a meeting on the next corner.
the appointment commenced.
a bump of life swept through us. back in the realm we were again.
the bus driver nodded, pupils as big as dimes.
dooms day.
i need to get off on 6th.