Gasping for air
All I receive are thousands of particulates of sweat
Exiting my body through deep pores
Opening like potholes
In the road to my dreams.
Then
With nothing but the force of my own sheer will
I drag the thin
Searing
Beads of pain
Fear, and loss
Deep into my lungs…
Is this not the determination
The commitment, you’ve been looking for?
If not
Then that for which you look
Truly does not exist.
You call this a phase
A stage
You say “Gage, I know you”
You tell me that next week
It’ll be something new
That if I don’t follow through
That if I can’t STICK to one thing
I’ll always be shifty
That you have no faith in me
Truth is
Next week you could find me here,
But you wouldn’t know
Because you’ve never bothered to hear me
Because to you
My voice is nothing more than elevator music.
My voice is nothing more to you
Than the tick of a clock
The buzz of a fly
You have no choice but to listen to it---
But
It stops… Eventually.
LISTEN TO ME
This is yet another
Unperceived misconception
Of your invention
Leading you in the wrong direction---
Traced back to a lack of attention
From when I would go against convention
Trapping us in this contention---
I
NEVER
STOP.
Truth is
I am different
THIS IS NOT A PHASE.
This is a symphony
Of beautiful rage
Breaking the cage
Of my destiny
But you still
HAVE---NO---FAITH---IN---ME
Oh how you perplex me
With your dry mouth
Cracked, and swollen
From scolding
You have no faith in me-
Unable to taste the sweet
Golden juice
Dripping from the fruits
Of my labor…
You have no faith...
But if you just stop and listen
Turn around and see
The click of a key
Your son’s typing stories
The throw of a ball
These normal sports bore me
I’m walking a path
You can’t walk it for me
It’s not that I’m carefree
Rather
You fail to see
That commitment for which you look
Is inside of me
This poem is an emotional response to the lack of mortal support my mother has shown me over the years. I love her to death, but sometimes the judgement of a parent is clouded by what they think is right.