I'VE GOT BAGS UNDER MY EYES, THE COLOR OF PLUMS. AND I'M NEVER GETTING ENOUGH SLEEP. BUT I LIKE NOT GETTING SLEEP. IT GIVES ME A REASON AS TO WHY I'M SO ******* TIRED. AN EXPLANATION TO WHY MY BRAINS TO TIRED TO FUNCTION. BECAUSE I CAN’T TELL PEOPLE I'M TIRED FROM THE TIDAL WAVES OF MISSING YOU, THE STORMS THAT RAVAGE MY MIND FULL OF MEMORIES CONSUMED BY YOUR PRESENCE. AND GOD HELP ME WHEN I DO SLEEP BECAUSE ALL I EVER DREAM OF IS YOU. AND BEING RIPPED AWAKE IS SO HARD BECAUSE ALL I EVER WANT TO DO IS BE WITH YOU AND WAKING UP ALONE IN MY BED RIPS ME APART EVERY **** TIME.

I thought that I scrubbed all the parts of me that you touched clean from traces of you. but I didn't. because you can't scrub someone's smile from your heart, and you can't scrub someone's laugh from your ears once you've fallen madly in love with it. and you can try and **** those parts of you with so much ***** that you can't walk straight. but the only thing you won't be able forget is his name. how it rolls off your tongue like it's supposed to be there for the rest of your life. and god help me because I can give back your clothes but I can't put memories of you holding me so tight that all my broken pieces are whole again into a box. and I can't fold 3 am phone calls into a box to throw at him when he says he doesn't want me anymore. and I'm still here 4 months later my body shaking like a thunder storm, that you loved so ******* much. but where are you, when you promised to always be here and now you're gone loving someone else.

DESTROY ME. I would rather you leave bruises all over my body then bruises all over my heart. Put your hands around my neck and choke me because I'm so sick and tired of choking on my own tears. So I'm begging you to break me. I'm so broken in my heart and there's no pill to fix me. ******* break me because I would rather have broken bones and bruised skin then have to face all these emotions.