oh god i would do anything to see leaves or fireworks or forget-me-nots or snow or tadpoles or anything extending beyond the current day

i'm sorry that our plans never made it to blueprints 

is there something about me that screams impermanence?

am i the human embodiment of a rest stop?

go ahead and make complaints about the texts you aren't getting back but remember that i endured months of a screaming silence that hurt my ears and rendered me a walking empty body
sorry that i couldn't be enough for a family that set me up to fail the second i stepped in the door
he's bringing her places we used to go and it's to overwrite the data already deeply encoded
i'm sure that our footprints and traces of who we were are still everywhere we ever went because time with him was on a different continuum and they shouldn't be trying to upset the balance

2 years ago today he said he would be back in 2 minutes
1 year ago today he said he would never leave, even for 2 minutes
3 months ago he said he would be there in 2 minutes
2 months, 29 days, 23 hours and 55 minutes ago he said he had had enough of our minutes together

i've been holding onto the idea of 2 minutes so much longer

i would like to point out that it's pretty ****** up that you covered her favorite song on valentine's day while we were still together
and you crooned about someone not calling you
why didn't you call me?
maybe your phone lines were too ******* in her for you to even be able to say goodnight

i hope your band never gets famous
i hope your next girlfriend will hate me
i hope you hate christmas because of that song i wrote
i hope that someone hurts you like you hurt me
i hope she finds those polaroids from when you still loved me
i really hope you fail out of school and have to move back home so you can be stuck in the place you hate the most
i hope that i never finish adding to this list

he told me that "this distance isn't a death sentence and we will serve our time"
i am still serving my time but he got out on bail

when did the calls past midnight become a part of who we used to be rather than who we were going to be
at what point did you stop loving me and when did you realize she would make you happier when will you realize she will never make you any ******* happier and your self-serving misery won't be fixed by having a different girl between your sheets than the one that promised to love you even when you didn't love her
do you know if she will beg you to stay when you think you found the one who will fill your void you put there by yourself?
i've never been your answer but that doesn't mean i can't ask the questions that put this silence between us