Notes drift into my room from yours next door...
and I with them drift...perhaps away...
It could've been a ten word story,
but isn't there always so much to say?

From within these 4 walls I am a world traveler- my destination is now.
Papers penned and pinned.
Places and faces pasted.
Statues still, candles burning-
My collection of earthliness-
me...?
I'm done collecting, I am learning.

It's all just only a three word story after-all...

Less is more.

There are those possessing the kind of beauty with which you cannot be born.
It is not pined after, bought, taught, or painted on...
but the rough around the edges kind of worn.
For to become it one must know strife and sadness, fear and yet still uninhabited wildness..
To be melted, corroded, and then shaped again by the earth where she lay-
like clay but out of the dirt-
It is never made and left to be with an air of mildness.
Like a broken vase, whose shards become a mosaic held back together with gold,
It's the honesty in fragility, the new-found strength and even glimmer in all of her cracks.
The warrior who tattoos every scar into vines symbolizing the growth
forever enfolding her soul.
You earn that kind of beauty when you realize-
you can not be empty and are too much of everything to be a fraction of anything
so there is only to be whole.

That is raw.
That is real.
That is really beautiful.





-This one is for my Mom.
The strongest one I know.-

When my demons catch me up,
and I fear that I may falter...
I call upon the most high,
and take my shadows to the altar.

Light a candle and from that many,
no time to curse the darkness.
If a single heart can choose to beat strong,
the strength of love beats those heartless.

In a sea of people I could swim...
But I'd float to you instead.
Laying on my back staring up into the clouds I saw your expression.
Like a kite suspended in flight from this ground, I am that thread.
"I'd never want once from the cherry tree",
With your sweetness on my tongue still- I cannot tell a lie-
The heated honesty of only us as ourselves sets us on fire and free.
Three days our love burned my body into fevers...
This is all of us and only of the most high above
- turning those godless into worshiping believers.
On my knees singing "when my time comes around..."
"I'll wake up without the walls around me",
And I'm not afraid because I felt you and we felt this.
It was just another work day, until I became an escapee.
He said Heaven and Hell were words to him,
And so I swore never to worry none...
  "about what his hands and body done."
And now I'm singing about how I ain't scared,
With your love, my sweet, with that thread and our heat...
When my time comes around I'm prepared.

The words on my mind, write themselves on the paper.
Philosophy spilled out, disappears into vapor.
Restless always, the mentality of a drifter...
Chameleon to my surroundings, I am the shape shifter.
Shift, shift all directions, Yes I get like the wind.
Was the happiness real when the Cheshire cat grinned?
I'm lost and I'm found...listen to me, a broken record spinning around and around. Handcuffed, gagged and bound...got my foot in my mouth.
Did I really hear that sound? Did you hear that flow?
Where did the seed come from that makes the idea grow.
Where do we go if we spontaneously combust?
Build up the walls, down with the trust...
A bomb in the chest counting down- self destruct.
Reality set on fire, ashes to ashes, dust to dust.
And it cant end now, it's never enough.
Greed is a sin, it's deadlier than lust...
To lust is to want, to want is to need.
Release your desires, I'm Pandora's box freed.
Just a dream, part of your subconscious...
Reoccurring every night, I'm a nightmare obnoxious.
Romeo and Juliet, I'm poison dead toxic.
Within chaos there is beauty, within me there's no logic...
Made up of fragments scattered, I aim to climb the ladder.
Thousands of me, reflect...Jagged Shards- a mirror shattered..
A body ******, beaten, bruised, and battered..
It's my Fabric of being that's torn and tattered.
I'll be just a drifter, I wander alone...
Left my skeletons locked in the closet at home...
Can't read me The Riot Act, I write truths of my own.

If you see through eyes of vanity look past me.
A point compared to an idea, you can't grasp me.
Stepped outside The box, ideas expand vastly.
The image of your every emotion, you can't mask me
Rumor goes the road to hell is paved with good intentions...
Eternally enveloped in flames is the part not worth my mention.
With God as my judge when I'm subject to inspections,
Sorry sinner I filled the quota on divine interventions.
Sticks And stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me,
Made from the rib of man, it'll take more than him to pervert me.
I'm blind to the ugly and deaf to the dumb,
I have ten souls if not more inhabiting a body of one.
The body and the blood served through wine and bread,
So who will eat my pieces when I'm 100years dead?
The sorcerers stone buried in the sands of time...
If I'm alpha to omega the secret is naturally mine,
The fountain of youth is the tub in which I bathe-
I'm a thousand lives old, a thousand girls enslaved.

My depth inwards far exceeds any ocean
While for many each day is just a minute, and a memorized motion.
I'm drowning in myself, deep thoughts are shallow breathes,
The world is my last supper, eat me until there's nothing left.

On each persons path, there are stones-
Do you cast yours at others because you are looking behind you?,
Do you stumble over them and fall because you are looking so far into the distance?
Or- Do you use them as the stepping stones they are in that moment to better safely guide yourself because you are walking in the here and the now?


Those that throw may be lead to their own glass house.
Those that stumble may fall into a hole…
But those that see, that trust, that walk- they are on their way…
By one step, one stone, one moment at a time,
They are going somewhere

Mankind and unkind.
Recklessly, extravagantly consuming,
The Profligates of humanity.
While totally restrained by convention- no morality.

The irony of a welcome mat and white picket fence,
Oxymoron for morons- this picture of us, the U.S. in it's totality.

Confined and maligned.
Assailing with contemptuous language; presuming.
Us Libertines of the world.
Expecting all to bend or be broken for our liberties.

We think they think that we are refined.
The world shuns us and our first world state of mind.

brutality to lethality,
duality to finality,
formality to legality,
mentality to normality,
municipality versus reality,

This is the land of the free.
Right?

I pray, stay wild my child...
your spinning essence and dizzy head untouchable,
stay crazed with wonder which cannot be defiled.
Live lively, unmarred, unbarred,
but you keep guard of your heart-
leave them bewildered,
stay beguiled.
I have faith you'll stay wild
because
with your curious face and wandering gaze
they read nothing of you when I saw
it was your eyes that still smiled.

It's your inwardness where there lies that wilderness.
for those who may play to enter, there is an interstice...
If you let them in, invite them to dance around your fire,
and stay wilder than any child's soul prior.

Silence kills...when it gets too quiet, blow on that loud.
Tradition instills...do everything right so your family is proud.
I'm above that, literally..
Exhale the *******, Inhale the magic- as I observe from my cloud.
The storm always chases me...
Money defaces me...
These children have faith in me..
I'm wasted, yes me.
I've enslaved me...
Jesus, What happened to the brave me?
White owl B's or ZigZag J's- sweet...
Posted...you modern material kids confuse the twittering for tweets.
wish I could stay up for days...
'Cuz The Rebel's rebellion's never a passing phase.
I'm learned and I never even showed up for class.
But thoughts and words scream over the motions 'cuz I think fast.
All the glory to best, too bad trends, fads, and that 15 minutes won't last.

The robbed that smiles steals something from the thief.
And he who has the why to live can bear almost any how,
So I ask The Most High not for a lighter burden,
but instead for broader shoulders...
Because rock bottom is good solid ground,
and a dead end is a logical place to turn yourself around
and face a new direction.

I speak my convictions ferociously...
While using word play I became articulate precociously,
Emotions spelled out, that's most of me-
Stripped down to the core...
I'm naked like we're supposed to be.
The drum I march too is the one in my chest,
That is the only medicine thwarting spiritual  unrest.
I aim only now to get all audiences affected,
Take wisdom straight to the brain...
Speak your Om's and stay connected.
Embody love and kindly refuse to be rejected-
Lies in the night by each new light are truth resurrected..
While people breathe and walk the streets shocked in silent trances,
Not grasping the reality of each life lived with no second chances..
So many cold in the dark alone in their memories,
Trapped behind closed doors and old dusty tapestries.
To crawl through their pasts over sticks, stones and ash,
I for one see the sun rather than the shadow that it casts.
Before we can heal we need to allow ourselves to feel...
Wake up every morning and decide what to make real.
Through the ruins together we must crawl.

tap, tap...
Is this mic still on?
Are all of those blurred faces yours?
Or have all of you gone?

hello...?
I'm standing up here, here to be upstanding.
with words that fly through my head, wings creating whirlwinds,
I'm here maybe high-minded but seeking a landing.
And yet even the crickets are critics with their chirping demanding.

My attitude remains magnanimous,
while the reactions seem always unanimous...

"The streets fill up with people looking for a good time.
He went upstairs to change out of his good suit.
The attic needed a good cleaning.
"I've met many good people who made me feel ashamed of my own shortcomings"
A mysterious balance of good and evil..."

mic drop.
silence...for once.
Man blames hangover on everything but how much he drank,
he thought the next morning...

and Schizophrenia makes keeping one journal far too complicated.

It’s ok to be restless. It’s just fine to be spirited.
Some of us only want to keep all of our secrets hidden, put away.
Some of us want to write them all down…I do, I want to write them all down…
But what good is a book if it can only be burned so that it can’t burn you.
I guess I’ll just keep telling everyone all of mine,
I like to mix them up into a lot of conversation and fantastical babble everyday of my life
       so that almost no one notices them.

I keep the ones that notice…the people, not the secrets.

I never could keep a diary.

So heavenly, wait at the pearly gates to meet me.
And when I reach the top only angels there to greet me.
So devious, not even hells demons can defeat me...
They try to bring me down but the darkness cannot reach me.
And I've got my own ways so no maze can mislead me,
There's a message that I am stressing and it's -do not misread me.
On a mission to make me, so no champion will succeed me,
Because we all know success is there for the taking.
History in the making, it's the world that we're shaping..

A new world, a world newly ordered,
Between our two worlds, who draws the borders?
Imaginary lines define who we'll be,
Imaginary boxes confine what comes free.
So here I stand so close to the edge,
Broke out of the box to reveal what comes next.
Here I am like The Queen of the ******...
The ruler of them all, the fairest in the land.
Mirror, mirror on the wall, for every rise there is a fall..
It's all for one and one for all,
I said I'd come if you should call.
I'm like snow white or maybe sleeping beauty,
No- I'm a soldier, G.I. Jane ready reporting for duty...
One in a million, disguised lady chameleon,
In an insane population, 6 point something billion.
This world is fuxked, we're straight jacket comfy
Far beyond broken, fell off our rockers- humpty dumpty.
And all the king's horses and all the king's men,
Couldn't put it back together again...

So here I am, strong I stand,
The fire has been lit, the flame will be fanned.
Let's rule the world through our rhymes and song,
Grabbing my flute, Pay the piper, and you may skip along.

Release me, Refuse me...
Throw me away to pick me up.
Only to Reduce me and Reuse me.

Love mutation, thus became my fixation narration,
Our intimate negation became the act of smug suffocation-

Asphyxiation definition, to produce asphyxia;
Amuse me.
Your muse, I only tease you,
I will keep but never please or appease you.
Satin skin to satisfy, I will not relieve you.
Reconcile, pacify, mollify, propitiate,
Satisfy, indulge, gratify, conciliate,

Synonyms for your pleasure are antonyms for mine-
The socio versus the ******- without emotion I will win you every time.

Some conversations will make your heart heavy,
But you shouldn't be having those often.
Some individuals will always end up making you sad
or leave you feeling disappointed,
and exhausted with carrying the weight of them on your shoulders.
It's not what you put in, or could've put in, or even done differently,
It's what they take. The way they will leave you empty if you keep allowing it.
They may or may not even realize what kind of succubus they are,
draining your lightness from you, but either way-
There is nothing you can do for that, for them...
But for you,
close yourself up and put yourself away from that.
It will be hard at first but...
Stop giving your peace & happiness away to feed their insatiable beast.
You deserve and need both.
Go find people to share both with instead.
Equal exchange- Joy for joy, peace for peace, love for love.
Those people are out there waiting for you,
with open arms and open hearts, I promise.

When you are ready there are things in this life you will learn to know...
Like the very subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul,
You must learn that love should not mean leaning and company does not grant security
you begin to understand that kisses are not contacts or contracts,
that the realest happiness is simply at it's core peace with passion and depth with purity.
You'll finally see that presents neither insure or ensure any kind of promise,
&tha;; we all get what we give in some form, karma unlike people is always sure & honest
You must begin to accept your defeats with your head held high,
And with this you'll keep your eyes ahead with the grace of an adult,
and not the grief of a child.
You learn to build your roads on good cause today because,
tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for "the plan",
besides, futures have a way of falling down mid-flight...
And time doesn't care where or for what you stand.
Anyways those instances can be the greatest and most necessary lessons
And blocks for building...
You'll finally get that your body is your temple for worship, the mind a universe worth filling...
After awhile you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much,
That sometimes playing the victim made to suffer is not a position but really a crutch.
You'll finally be sure to trust the light within and to both lead with and follow that as your source.
And that there are different journeys to the destination,
One ocean but still all rivers must erode and meander their own course.
So you should, when you are ready plant your own garden and decorate your own soul...
Don't wait for someone to bring you flowers or recognize the beauty in things with or in you.
We are born as one, and as one we are and must always be whole.

Queen of Cups.
Queen of Swords.
Dogma inked arms raised-
above the hordes.
To be one word, it's untoward.
A visual vigilante versus the overlords.
The candlestick yet to be etched-
See the light, be the light simply sketched,
by needle and blood onto her thigh,
Because a world without honey-
breeds the vinegar fly.

In the midst of covering my body with the map of all prophets-
I'm Standing at the bus stop next to a poster child billboarding for profits.
Singing, "Get Better."

The bathroom is my favorite room.
It's where I reflect, relieve, refresh myself even if just literally.
also, it's there that I change every day even if it's just my clothes.
It's where I powder my nose and rouge my cheeks-
where I spend time "getting beautiful"...
and then where I wash the idea that I'm not, without down the drain when the night is over.
It's got the 2 largest windows per the smallest space in the house-
and the bottom half of the pane is blurry so I only see the tops of trees and sky clearly.
From that perspective, that outside could be almost anywhere.
It's where I am most often naked alone.
The bathroom is where I flush all my **** away-
And I know that everyone else has to too, even the pope, the president, and Brad Pitt.
There's sea shells on the walls in mine though,
And it's there I sing the loudest, the longest, because the acoustics sound the best.
I like the bathroom because as ***** as I can be walking in,
I walk out clean again.

Large black eyes like oil pools set in faces snow white...
Perched in twisted branches and silence, risen above the mist,
and the twilight has still not quite faded into night.
I've been dreaming of Owls in the trees,
I know, I can feel that they are not only there watching me...
So I seek the meaning while believing,
in listening to what speaks to us while we sleep-
even if only deriving the message from imagery,
I recognize the language, dreams are our subconscious synergy.
The delicate and intricate ornamentation silvery and fleeting,
They are this darkness's filigree.

So many seeds of later development,
The use of fancy words to dress up lives and feelings with embellishment.

I just seek expression most meaningful,
how long that can take sometimes seems most inconceivable...
Read many writes that I've quite liked,
I just wish like the hand, the mouth was believable.

Mouths are either rebellious or amenable,
Saddened to be left skeptical,
because all are aiming to be so tenable.

Maybe with hands and mouths less poems- more love
Let us all just scream "**** it" like genitals.

and rhyme!

I am abounded now,
verb: I am meant to exist here in large quantities...
I personally know death in my own right
without all of the obsequies.
To be abundant or plentiful;
I needed to jump from the pedestal,
Light travels at a prestissimo speed-
Living in a state of movement or action,
But still an image delayed is only real in memory.
Klexos is defined as the art of dwelling in the past,
If I were to stop to look back, you'd drag me back
In the most earnest of ways, you were always adept at that.
Well death to that, this is the epoch...
This point in time is the beginning of a new distinctive period.
The number of things I am to do and be without the shackles of you:
indefinite, I am a living myriad.
Clocks, calendars, anniversaries, memories irrelevant-
My periodic restlessness in your heart has lead me to choose to be love celibate.
The displacement of an oscillating or vibrating body at zero time,
I can't contain my anticipation as things come full circle,
our death is my rebirth whole in the world sublime.

It said I was an Oak or a Fig Tree...
It was wrong,
I'm a willow...
By birth if not by date.
I do not bear the sweet fruits of my labor for anyones feeding.
Winding, sturdy, deeply rooted at my center but high reaching-
I don't require too much sunshine to grow,
And I've done my fair share of weeping..
but I do more swaying, more dancing.
Grace is important, and to be close to flowing water- purity, purify.
Also,
How I'm growing up, down, and in at the same time-
They'll recognize me by the wild hair either in my face or the wind.
A willow with green eyes-
My limbs and I are lithe, That's me...
Flowing my best like the water you'll find me bent near-
I bend but I do not break-

Willowy.
Willow Tree.

I often wonder if it's just me?
Is it possible for others to be empty and full at the same time?
How can I be so whole as I continue to give and leave pieces of myself
as I go along.
Are we all not just walking contradictions in this way?
Giving, taking, doing, going, showing, keeping, asking, answering, seeking...
What have I found?
If I can say anything for sure- there is no fact.
But statistically, ignorance is bliss..
But at what cost?
Knowledge is power,
and I will gladly postpone a false sense of happiness for truth in exchange.
Better to be the black sheep than just another member of the flock
being fed fat with lies and a false sense of security,
only to be herded to the slaughterhouse
faithfully, obediently in line with the masses.

I choose the escape to the greener pastures I think there might be,
For to be fed fat with lies is to feed yourself to the liars.
You can not run into the belly of the beast to fight the good fight though,
I choose to simply oppose.
To run blindly into the horizon and the unknown...

Because we should indeed be more fearful of what we think we know,
what we have grown so comfortable with and dependent upon-
rather than what we have not yet set out to face.

I look in the mirror but it ain't my reflection.
Always been a dreamer but dreams can be deception.
Been living and loving with no method of protection,
The day my son was born was the date of inception.
I'm walking as much away each day as I am toward,
My mind stuck on rewind, my life on fast forward...
All the coming and going- when it ends I begin,
I've got a lot of heart but my sanity's stretched thin,
Like puzzle pieces...or the answer to a riddle;
I fight for a lot 'cuz I came from a little...
Like wanting to be touched and having someone hit you,
Being the hand that feeds, but the hungry dog still bit you.
Now I look before I leap or I don't leap at all
I've got no safety net, every day's a free fall...
Define beauty in someone else's eyes,
Everyday I'm older and everybody dies.

Where would I be if I didn't have you,
You're the only thing I have...
The only love that's real,
When you're in my arms it's the only thing I feel.
You've got the best of me.

Everything we are is real in being seen,
So mean what you say and say what you mean.
Look in my eyes through the window is my soul-
Plus secrets that can't hurts us, a side you'll never know...
I buried all of my pain a long time ago,
Left behind all of the things that could've swallowed us whole.
Now I have you, and everyday I watch you grow,
Lifted a passion out of me that I thought wasn't so.
And it's you, it's you that makes me better...
There's times I might break but I'll never ever shatter.
You being mine could never be wrong,
You straightened out my path when I was lost for so long.
I used to pray, I just wanted to be saved,
I wanted to do right but I didn't know the way...
When you're older, I'll tell you all of these things
And how you were God's gift to me, the angel to my wings.

While you are wide eyed dreaming;
frozen, stuck at seeming,
I'm live life streaming,
with those of us out here being.

While "just concepts of people whom do not exist"
walk 'round and 'round the edges of the abyss...
Some pushing others, some jumping,
some running, never stopping-

I'm upon the mountain screaming,
"Take the people, leave the people-
but do not try to make the people,
you are only disturbing the balance."

When you can't struggle any longer
it's to your peace you must surrender...
Because there is so much for us to miss
when there is so much to remember...

If you must...
Use your memory to give back life to that which no longer exists,
Can you recall how you ended up here?
Do you remember how warm the light felt against your body then?

Whoever thought walking down was easier than up,
has never chosen the bottom over the top.

In the water I'm born again,
in flowing silence I am fluid;
Just visiting here beyond this.
The weight of my body and of it all is lifted,
This seamless resistance soothes me.
Underneath...I re-emerge from under-neath,
as if entering the out from inside myself...
Here, like this, I almost remember being born again.
So many dimensions within "ours",
I re-emerge, reaching up from the bottom-
eyes open to the sting, as if I'm shattering the looking glass...but quietly.
Watching my own hand reverse-penetrate the undisturbed surface.
If I could just take it all in-
water into my lungs so that I may be born again into what's next-
This moment, the moment every cell of my body struggles to perpetuate...
that's when the floating silence
is who I am.
That's when I realize I have to break the silence
and the surface,
and breathe again.

I used my raging rhetoric to explore him.
high flown style; he told me he could read me,
and how my story could never bore him.
Without answers to the questions I stated but never asked-
He crossed the threshold, plunging into our heaviness together vast.

My excessive use of verbal ornamentation aside...
I was touched beyond words, beyond the flesh, and past the bones and organs inside.
He didn't play me, but played off of and on still my notes instead,
He fingered every key, playfully- black and white, day and night, dark and light
and then turned to me and said-

He said nothing, I don't think-I couldn't think
I couldn't hear,
I couldn't hear passed the piercing ringing interrupting us from inside my ears...
It's 4A.M., Now with eyes open to the blank black locally programmed T.V. Screen,
That faceless man telling me about the required weekly test woke me
from my sweetest dream.

Aside from love and the legacy of whom you touched and were touched by in this,
if you are and were as one should be,
You will not leave this place carrying more than you arrived with.
So tell me, of what value are material things truly?
So many of us cling so tightly to imagined selves...but, who are you, really?
With having nothing to lose but your fear of loss.
Live simply to know that- it is the simplest things we should happily live for,
or else being happy will never be simple-
and your living will be wasted on dying.

Gotta start somewhere just like everyone else.
Faith in anything is something,
       faith in something is everything-
Even if all you have to start with is "self".

Just a kid having a conversation with id,
and a crone telling both of them that
anything looks small from a higher perspective.

Climb the mountain and the dirtiest city suddenly appears easy to clean.
If the 3 could only see or be seen,
....it's all really subjective.

Also truly a woman is 1 and can only be.

Because nothing is everything.
Because I am shades, hues, and versions of "me" across time,
and much space...
Much space that comes to equal almost no distance at all,
between numbers and measurements-
for what can be counted as "this life"...
I am neither near nor far.
I know not the difference between here or there,
and all at once I am coming and going.
Yes, there are many movements where I am,
much to be touched and moved by,
And while I am removed from
the idea of certainty in itself,
I am if nothing else, that contradiction-
as I am sure of myself.
And so...
Everything can not ever amount to nothing,
because I am not afraid, only curious.

We are never really rejected.
There are no true mistakes.
No could haves that really "could have been."
No should haves that you really "should have been part of"
Everything that happens or doesn't- comes along or is an opportunity missed because it simply needs to be.
Fall-backs are crucial parts of the puzzle which is understanding.
Not getting what we want can be a huge step towards reaching a bigger dream...or walking the path meant for us.
We’re not rejected. We’re redirected.
There are no parallels or alternatives, we can not force the "hand of fate"...
There's only this as it is.

I often tell people who ask me...
-Take the path of least resistance.
By this I don't mean to take the easy way every time,
I'm really saying when hard work feels good it will pay off. When dreams, goals, plans, people, and the day to day flow and provide for themselves within your life equally as much as you strive to provide them for yourself then, they are yours to have.

Strain, stress, anxiety, tension- those things are for no one.
Those emotions are indicators manifesting themselves because your internal compass is off, you're not heading true North, somewhere you've forced a wrong turn.
Stay the course, trust the source.
Happiness>Everything.

Born under an orange moon full, almost named that baby Harvest,
came quick with kaleidoscope eyes inlaid in porcelain-
Open wide, like she already knew the world was starving.

Pulling angels down on kite strings.
Sending love back up to sender on sparrow's wings.
Counting the hairs on my head, that many blessings.
While faces, voices, warriors, tigers left at the waterfall guessing.

I walked down to the pond.
Just the small, silk, silent, pond...
Saw the stars reflecting there on the water,
the world turned upside down.
I'm fine with that kind of beauty,
Because,

Isn't that what brought her?

There I am
in each of all the blades of grass.
Out there in the field as them,
I take deep breathes at last.
How to capture an essence?...
in the world spinning on axis in excess- to fast,
I grow out of sunlight but
am birthed from a sliver of the moon crescent's past.
If I do believe in unicorns-
it's because I've held the devil's horns
within my tiny finger's grasp.

It's like suddenly I was watching everything from deep under water,
and thinking about how we don't really think about things
after they've "just been there" too long.
Which of these girls is not like the others?
Which of these girls does not belong?

Most people misunderstand, as humans it is not for us to look to escape our darkness, it is that we must learn to love ourselves there...

If you can do that, you've already begun the journey of bringing it to light, of seeing yourself out, and of embracing the two halves that make us each whole....without each, you can not understand either.