I don't remember, any more,
The exact shape of your hands
As I held them in mine,
Caressed them,
Memorized the length of your fingers,
The depth of your calluses.

I don't remember, any more,
Exactly your height, how much
Taller than me
You were, where
My head rested on your chest
When you held me tightly close.

I don't remember, any more,
Your scent, when we lay together
Creating our own
Magic rhythm,
Matching our heartbeats as we
Touched the sky, together.

I don't remember, any more,
The sound of your voice, calling
My name as though
It were a song
Within itself, a precious treasure
You valued with all your being.

And I don't remember, any more,
The color of your eyes, the shape
Of your lips,
Only...
How your eyes crinkled at the corners
And your laugh, as you told me,

"I love you."

grated lemon sunbeams stream
through the cracked shades in my room
setting the fuzz of your hair alight, pixie grass
and your eyes shift under their almond blankets
a fan of black lashes rippling open, open
there is a flavor to your irises, the way your pupils dilate
as if, maybe, I am the sun

There aren't a lot of things I want.
Except maybe a hand
or a smile or a laugh or a good night's sleep.
Really, I just want you to lick my heart
because it hurts
and that's the only remedy I can think of.
I want you to tell me
"Yes, I do remember when I actually gave a **** about you."
I want to know that everything we had wasn't one-sided
or desperate or needy or searching
because I was all of those things,
but I hope you weren't.
I want to feel closure in my bones,
hold acceptance in the palms of my hands.
I want you to come to terms with you
and maybe with me, too.

Remember that time
at the beach.
You were the first one
with your clothes off.
I think you were already
a little drunk
but you would have
stripped down
regardless.
You never had anything to hide.

Because of you
I had the strength to stand
bare-breasted and unafraid
to all of the Atlantic Ocean
and sing about sunshine and having life.
You gave a number of people
the courage to take their shells off that night.
A bunch of naked hippies on the beach
like a flock of seagulls with a little
more heart.
We thought we could change
the world back then,
and I guess we still can.

sitting here
watching dandruff flakes fall upon my lap
forming trillions of little constellations
reminding me of you

its hard to say
what i really feel
cause i never really know
biting my nails
itching my crotch
breathing
in
                     & out


i dont see
any beauty
in this curse
called love