I believe you cared no I’m positive you did
because the way you used to look at me makes it impossible to mistake it for anything but love
the way your eyes would search me
looking as if they were trying to remember every inch to reference in
the short moments we were apart
your hands were so kind back then
every movement of them was so intentional
and a complete extension of your heart
I remember the trail you followed from my eyes to my feet
the way you breathed me in
the way you completely enveloped me
it eased every muscle every complete inch of me
you had this talent to calm me down
some impressive manner to slow time down
I was so in love...I was so completely yours
I never doubted it for a minute
I hate that I’m writing in the past tense, and I hate that I remember every move you made
because each memory that passes through my subconscious leaves a
reoccurring stinging pain
a cringe and another deep breath to try to expel any
good thoughts of you any illusion that the past is actually the present
I refuse to allow my dormant thoughts of you to reemerge
an endless process to keep you locked in a place where I can't remember
I continue to fail ...and this failure kills me
every second i can feel you gone.
I can feel this hole expanding within my chest
trying to fill the gap you left with an endless stream of comfort disguised with immorality
they last for a moment but they stop the pain
ever so slightly for one moment
a moment of relief in a my world of complacency
I love you more than I can bare
But once again I must remind myself,
those days are gone.

You have me smiling at the blowing wind
My moods are completely capricious; they depend on you
I'm starting to fall...
And keeping my feet planted is becoming more and more impossible
I'm in love with the idea of you.
I want every part of it
But I keep forgetting to account for reality
Your presence has kept me hazy, and spinning
Disoriented, confused,
But blissfully
       Ignorantly
              Stupidly
                     Happy
I don't think I'm ready to face the truth yet
I think I'll stay up in these dreams for awhile
I consciously choose to avoid sensibility
I want nothing of logic, or rational
I am content with my simple idea of what you are.