You don't know who you are
Because the foundation you grew up with
Isn't there any longer
Torn away by the stunning realization
That you drift a bit from the norm

All situations become awkward
You have to think before any interaction
Because hiding is is required
For if your secret gets out
You fear your life will end

Paranoid someone would betray you
You trust nobody
Distancing from friends and family
Scared to let anyone in
If it means risking them hating you

Religion used to be a safe haven
But no longer is it so
For you hear of the church committing horrible acts
Calling you immoral, a greater sinner than most
Simply for how you were born

On the news, you see the homeless youth
And your stomach turns with disgust
Trhwon out of the house for something beyond their control
You are terrified that it could be you
So you try and eradicate the feeling

Sometimes you feel brave
You drop hints to people, trying to reach out
But ultimately, the fear returns
So you pass off what you said as a joke
And feel ashamed for living

But ****** orientation ain't **** to feel shame about
You are who you are
And someday, you will tell the world
Prejudice be ******, you're a man
No matter what they say

10 is the number of a team
Working in unison to achieve success
9 is the number of the men
Who judge us all before their seats
8 is the number of dancers
Weaving and twisting in time
7 is the number of magicians
So that their illusions can survive
6 is the number of people
Crammed into this old house, fighting
5 is the number of celebration
Hands raised, slapped together
4 is the number of conflict
Friends tearing each other apart
3 is the number of strength
A triangle, holding up the world
2 is the number of lovers
So that neither will be alone
1 is the number of the man
Who commits perfect evil, or perfect good

I want the kind of love
Where you wake up at 2 in the morning
From a nightmare
And see her, smile and everything is okay

I want the kind of love
Where you sit in a park smoking cigarettes
Holding hands, people watching, observing the beauty of life
Enhanced by a companion ever so dear

I want the kind of love
Where sometimes when you get particuarly depressed
You are able to stay safe and sane
Because you have someone to save you

I want the kind of love
Where your reality is better than your dreams
So you don't sleep much
Preferring to talk through the night about anything and everything

I want that kind of love
But its not in the cards for me
The hand I was dealt leaves me miserable, alone
Trapped in a world on my own

Dark hair and dark eyes
pale skin, you look a ghost
Bright red lips drawing attention
To the insane beauty you possess
And no mortal man could resist
The feelings of intrigue you radiate
Biting your lip, periodically looking up through your bangs
Writing away, sitting alone in a coffee shop
A seat open across from you
An invitation, if one dares to take it
So take it I must
For at this moment
Knowing you seems to be the most important of pursuits
Though I can't help but feel that nobody has ever known you
For you are a mystery for any to behold
And none to comprehend

John 3:16
For God so loved the world
That keeps me going
Life can be rough
But He is always there protecting
Those of us who need a little help
Dealing with the evils of day to day existence
Struggling just to get by
In a broken world
Full of cruelty and pain
With no respite
Except His love
Keeping us safe
Never letting us be alone

I hate that I love you
Its that day of the year
A time for romance
Hands held, and love
But you are gone

Dark red stains on clean white sheets
Cracked pencil sharpeners, missing a piece
Angst and loneliness spelled out in blood
Bitter and afraid, longwing for the one I loved
To save me from this wreck
That has become my ******* life
Trapped inside a world
Where I can't get any respite
From the pain, oh the pain
That makes death seem like the only escape
And as the artist turns back to his canvas
He carves a heart
Broken and empty
On his pale white skin

Its just past midnight
And the scent of you lingers
Caught in my hair
And my chest, where you laid your head
Smelling of lavender
Pure beauty
And as  I light my last cigarette
I look up towards the heavens
And ask why in the world
You couldn't be mine

**** man, life changes fast
Look back 6 months, and what did I have?
Mid August, hot as hell
In love with a girl, and I couldn't tell
That my life was soon to be on a collision course with death
Wasting away until my last breath
Driving around then, laughing all day
Home at night now, carving away
Living two lives, all at the same time
Wake up in the morning, slap on a mask
Its winter now, and nobody asks
How I've been
Hey Dan, do you need a friend?
Well, I suppose they do
But not in the way I can give a real answer to you
Because I feel like a drag weighing down on your fun
Since I'd give anything to stare down the barrel of a gun
With a little click I could fade into the night
And say goodbye to this torture that we call life

Somebody out there
Is fighting a war
And that war is over nothing
But the perceived imperfections
That they find in themselves

Discovering problems when none are there
Without realizing the lack of substance
Just created villains out of air, not understanding reality
But for them, the problems were always there
And they weren't self made, they just occurred

And the war over that which is not real
Is the bloodiest conflict in history
With casualties every day, battles every night
Men and woman, adults and children perish
Fighting for a cause they don't understand
That those on the outside can't see

Because this war is in hell
And hell is a state of mind
And when there, every moment is a struggle
To stay alive and hold back the demons
Swarming through your mind

Originality is dead
Everything that can be done
Has been done
And creativity is a joke
Because the words he writes
Have been said a hundred times in a hundred different ways
Better or worse, its the same
And that sameness is suffocating
For an individual is the highest from of life
And the mob has overwhelmed him
To the point where he can't see why
He should bother fighting for his life

I am a dead man
Not physically, for my heart still beats
And air fills my lungs
And my mind wanders
But spiritually
After seeing my innocence slaughtered
My trust in humanity shattered
And that unshakable belief that everything would be okay
Shaken
Murdered by a cold cruel world
Where men need a bottle just go get by
Because facing reality is too much to bear
And a woman sits crying
Because her husband is never home
And she has to raise the kids all on her own
Kids who, with the right guidance, would be amazing
But one parent isn't enough
So the children waste away into nothing
Fading away into the monotony
Of existence
Just as I have done

Kurt Cobain said
It is better to burn out then fade away
And that really stuck with me
Because its hard to make an impact in a world
Where we are taught everyone is special
Which of course means tat none of us are
A world where freedom
Means dropping 200 grand on a college
And working 9-5 for the next 45 years
Its really hard to make an impact
In an era where everyone thinks they are an artist, a poet, a star
Carving a niche out for yourself?
Well that's **** near impossible
I think Kurt was right
It is better to go out with a bang
But it is pretty **** hard

One is  forced to wonder
What life would be like
If darkness was eternal
And we lived in endless night
Would love prosper?
Or would hate take command?
Would art flourish?
Or violence reign supreme?
One is forced to wonder about these things
When there is a darkness inside of them

Two hearts beating
Strangers, yes
But we're so much better than the rest
A connection running wide and deep
Better than any with the company you keep
Darling stare into my eyes
Choose to make me your only guy
Two beats one
This is true
Which is why I'm stuck here staring at you

Trapped inside a life
I can find no escape
Consumed with misery and self loathing
Lacking beauty and love and inspiration
Cornered into a little world of sadness
Lonely beyond belief
Isolated to the max
This is the anthem of the poet
As he writes his last

Remember me with joy
Curly hair a mess
Giggling like a child
Loving, affectionate, free

Erase from your mind the wreck that has come instead
Cold, bitter, angry
For it is not how I want to be remembered
I want to be remembered at my best

Religion
A man made concept
Based off the super natural belief
That something couldn't come from nothing
And that there is some higher being out there watching us

Religion
The source of so much hate
Violence stretching throughout the centuries
With crusades, and jihad
Blood spilled simply because one has a different interpretation of God than yourself

Religion
Its not all bad
A source of courage and love for those in need
A place to lay your worries, charity for the poor
A God who loves all of his children, for we are in His image

Religion
The ultimate paradox
Responsible for so much good
And so much evil
It astounds me how frustrating you can be

White is the color of purity
That which is clean, innocent, tame
White stands for sunshine, music, dancing
All the things that bring you joy

Black is the color of darkness
The evils you can find in the night
The monster under the bed, the shadows on the wall
And when cruelty and power combine'

Red is the color of passion, hot and furious it will be
Love, lust, anger, hate
Wildfire which shall not be controlled
But will burn its brightest until it destroys itself

Blue is the color of calm
Still water on a cloudless day
It is also the color of sadness
Deep and haunting, crushing your soul

Flesh is the color of man
He responsible for all the magic and pain in the world
It can come in any shade, yet its all the same
Good and evil, a swirl

A crack of thunder
The clouds roll through
And inevitably, my mind drift backs to you
The days spent dancing in the pouring rain
The small half smile of one who feels no pain

Around and around, twirling we go
Our hands interwoven as we dance
To the music of our hearts
Beating rapidly in ecstacy
For that is what life can be when you find true love

I lean in to kiss you
As I tremble with anticipation
Of the magic, the beauty
Such a lovely sensation
Found only in the arms of she whom i love

These city streets are empty and cold
Devoid of life
Not a soul walks here but me
Alone in a world of sadness and pain
With tattered mind
And a broken heart

Life is a harsh endeavor
Joy sparse and brief
Tragedy lurks around the corners
One can do nothing to avoid
So I march head on into it
Embracing my fate

Nothing lasts forever
Save one thing, Death
So to death I walk
With my head held high
Hoping to find a more hospitable place
Than this Earth

Across the room you sit
Absorbed in thought
Biting your lower lip
While you contemplate
Lord knows what
But I wish it was me

Shyly, I stare at you
My bangs hiding my eyes
Praying you don't notice me
But wanting nothing more than to attract your attention
And perhaps I could draw a smile
From your thin red lips

You're beautiful
Not in the flashy, mini skirt kind of way
But in that subtle, wink across a crowded room style
Flying under the radar, until noticed
When you steal the show
And capture my attentions like nothing else can

I do not know why a girl like you
Would give someone like me a chance
So I sit here dreaming, hoping, longing
For the day when I get the courage to walk over and ask
If you'd spend some time with me
And pray you say yes

I can't help but feel
That this isn't how life was supposed to be
I was not intended to be born
Wanting nothing more than to perish
And escape from all the suffering
That has plagued me for all of my days
And has kept me trapped inside
A broken heart, an empty mind

Death would be a release
From the day to day struggles
That weigh me down
Battering my willpower
Eroding any and all chances I have
To be happy, and normal
Instead of forcing smiles
With dead eyes

One shot should do the trick
Or a noose, nice and thick
So as to hold up the bulk of my sorrows
That have been on my shoulders for years
Better yet a handful of pills
And a dignified departure
From a miserable life
Into a blissful end

Take my hand and walk with me darling
For I have a story to tell you
Its one of the past, and of the future
Concerning the longevity of a night
And the brevity of a decade

The story starts off simple enough
Boy meets girl, and he is captivated with her presence
Though his eyes rest upon her for but a moment, that moment is the longest of his life
And nothing could ever be the same after
For when you find your other half, you feel empty until unity

The backs tory is a bit more complicated
Girl meets boys, over and over again
Searching for that perfection, floating in the clouds
Eventually becomes jaded, for all of the bad men in the world
And she is damaged, bitter goods

Our protagonist stands up and rushes over
Tapping the ******* the shoulder as she passes him by
I'm  sorry to bother you miss, but I couldn't help but say
Seeing you has made it the most beautiful of days
And though it may sound strange, I feel like we were meant to know each other

She surveys him with cynicism
Wondering what she did to have some stranger harass her
And as she looks at him, scathing rejection on the tip of her tongue
She sees something in his eyes, something pure and intriguing
And she instead finds herself asking, fancy a drink?

Life can be incredible sometimes
And the boy can't believe his luck
Good fortune like this only happens in the movies
But he flashes a smile, and takes her by the hand
Said come, lets have a good time

Trailing slightly behind him, the girl feels a sense of awe
Because she had learned to repel any sort of human connections
Yet here she was with a boy she just met
Off on a date she hadn't expected
Inexplicably happier than she had been in ages

That night seemed to last forever
They sat and talked and laughed
Two souls connecting instantly
As if they had always known the other
And everything was right

They go their separate ways that night, promising to keep in touch
As they lay down to sleep alone, they wish nothing more than  to be with the other in the morning
And with a flash, they wake up
The man and the woman, together in love
With the years that passed by far too quickly, an the moments that seemed to never end

A shot to numb the pain
Four more to do the same
Drinking into this oblivion
Wanting nothing but to forget
Because I am haunted
The ghosts of the past follow
And I can not escape them

Feel the smoke inside me
Drifting in tomy lungs
Fire is at my fingertips
You wonder what I've done?
I had a cigarette
Whats 3 more
Just trying to have some fun

A slash to wake me up
A score more to keep me here
Anything to feel better
To live without a fear
But life is a battle
And I am destined to lose
As I sigh deeply and cry, tying this noose

Goodbye is now forever
The package at your door
Contains my final message
The words I couldn't say
I love you but I must go
Life was too much to bear
And so I fade away

Tears stream down my face
Life is for living
But that is not what I do
I am merely existing
Miserable and alone
Lacking love, happiness, hope
Sometimes it all seems so pointless
Why even bother getting up in the mornings?
When I know everyday is just the same
Sadness and misery and hatred
rationally I know the world can be beautiful
But I can not bring myself to believe
That my world can get any better
Than this harsh, desolate wasteland

The King sits atop his thrown
Overlooking the entire world
As we are all trapped beneath
And in his power, there is no happiness
In his power, there is no satisfaction
Just fear, and sadness
Because when everybody is watching
Every mistake hurts a thousand times more
And when everyone is watching
All of the paranoia is multiplied to a degree
That cripples ones ability to act, yet act they must
For leaders must lead no matter what
And while some have the character to do so
This king is a coward, doing his best
Which is hardly good at all
And he knows now that he is on top of the world
The only thing left for him to do
Is fall

To heaven we go
With a passion in our hearts
That shall never die

Living after death
The mind and soul enduring
Any and all pain

The pain then becomes
Only the greatest of joys
When we find our peace

Eternal we rest
Finally we are content
Lord please lay me down

Its Christmas time now
And you're gone
And I'm lonely
And I think back to last year
And the time we spent together
The love we had
And I feel a hollow emptiness in my chest
Thinking of the love so passionate
Now dead forever

Its better this way
I know that
but I can't help but dream of finding someone like you
Someone to hold me and help me through the rough times
And to laugh and make fun of drunks at a party
Kissing me as the ball drops
Walking you home, hand in hand

This time last year I was a wreck
But I had you, and it was enough
Now, I am still a wreck
And I don't have you
But I will find better
Someone who deserves my love
And who can love me

You can't see beyond
What you expect to see before your eyes
You see the crown of the King
But not the man beneath it
You see the tears of a son
But not the underlying causation
And you think yourself perceptive
But you refuse to move beyond the obvious
And in our world, the obvious usually is not the truth
Complicated people concoct complicated cover stories
To deflect questions and attention, for ours is a cold, impersonal world
Where a fake smile is always more loved than a real frown
And an aura of nonchalance trumps any level of seriousness
Its a cold world, yes, and cruel
So put on your mask my friend
But be careful to remember
That all of us, every single one
Hide behind our own masks, for our own reasons
And you can trust in nothing but yourself and God
Rely on nothing but yourself and God
Because in the end, who else is there?
Nobody

Love is in the air tonight
Can you feel it in your lungs?
Burning hotter than some smoke would feel
When you've found the one
The one that completes you
Call her your better half
For when we are born it is incomplete
Until you win her back
Because you lost her in the time before time
Where chaos reigned over all
And you are born to find her before you return
To death, because that's where we belong
Before birth and after life, death is our home
And we live to find the one
That would make that home our own

It has been a long time
Since I was with you
And despite all the time that has passed
It still feels the same
As if it had been minutes since I'd last seen you
Not months
With easy smiles and laughter
Friendly hugs and jokes
Holding you while you nap
Kissing you when you're mad
It is like coming home after a long day
Where you feel safe, and nothing has changed
So why is it that we spend so much time apart
When we are clearly so happy together
Why must me make life difficult
When our love could make it so easy?

Sometimes I feel as if I should speak up
And tell you how I feel
But right now we live in a world where everything is simple
And we needn't think at all
Just live, as we do
Happy, but not as happy as we should be
I think I should speak up
But I am afraid to to ruin what we do have
For the sake of what we could have
And I can't tell if this is because I love you too much
Or if the heart of a coward lies within me?

We are born alone
And we die alone
In between our lives are filed with people
Day after day facing the same tedious patterns
Talking to the same old people
Walking on the same old roads
Lost, without a purpose
Surrounded by everyone
Touched by no one
An empty husk of a boy
Existing rather than living
And nobody stops to ask why
Nobody seems to care
That the light in his eyes has gone
And the spark and his soul shall never be reclaimed

She says she doesn't know the new me
But hell, I didn't know I changed
She says I'm cold now, distant
But I thought she wanted space
She says she misses the old days
But I swear she was always sad
She says she hates the new me
But I'm just trying to be what she says she want's

She says she is on to the next one
But I thought she claimed my love forever
She says its not her, its me
But I recollect living it a bit differently
She says we should still be friends
But I know that's a lie
She says see you around
But I know this is goodbye

I say wait, give us time
But she can't wait any longer
I say wait, you swore you were mine
But she doesn't care anymore
I say why are you doing this
And she responds with a laugh
I say this is killing me
And she says honey, I don't care for your death

Learn from your failures
That was a lesson drilled into me at a young age
Do not be afraid to fail
Because failure is naught but a spring board to success
So I watch with closed lips while you hurtle along your reckless path

I know that we are supposed to make our own choices
And I know how stubborn you can be
Refusing any advice
Rejecting any help
Because you are your own person, and you will stand firm

But I can help you
You can't see it clearly
Emotion clouds your perception
And perhaps it clouds mine too, but in a different way
A way that leads to protection, instead of destruction

How many nights must you fall asleep
Filled with pain
Tear drenched clothes
Wishing with all your heart that everything would be okay
When it is in your power to make it so; you just don't realize

One night, I couldn't take it anymore
And I swore an oath to save you from yourself
And I called you, voice quivering
And laid it all out on the line
Everything you needed to hear

A wise man once said life is like a box of chocolates
But darling, it isn't always so
Life is bittersweet and shall never be perfect
And neither shall you, no matter how hard you try
And hate yourself, for the imperfections

But the imperfections are what make life beautiful
And the pain is just an obstacle to be conquered
With love, and friendship
And you don't need to fight this battle alone
No matter how much it feels like nobody is beside you

Because we are all here darling
And we will help lead you out of the darkness
And into the light
Take my hand, and walk with me
I'll show you the joys of life

Sunrise over still water, silence all around you
The scent of the sea drifting towards you, filling you with bliss
While the clouds roll by, carried by that warm breeze
Life can be good my darling
We just have to open our eyes

And see a million snowflakes falling over a million souls
Each one as unique as the person it lands on
And see the city, made beautiful and clean
Glistening in the sun
While the kids laugh in the street

A poet sits alone on a park bench
Waiting for inspiration to strike
And a girl walks by
Flashing a smile
And his world is turned upside down, and he knows

That life is beautiful.
And he will show you if its the last thing he does

Sometimes it just hits you
Like a wave crashing down on a beach
Wearing away at the rocks until suddenly
It collapses into the water
That's what it was like

You say you like it better this way
You say it was a choice
And you made it
Willingly denying the fact it wasn't a choice
But a punishment you were saddled with

You look back on the old days
Back when things were different
And you manage to convince yourself you are better off now
But you aren't
You are much, much worse

Every day is more of the same
You're just trapped alone with your thoughts
Nobody to talk to
Nobody who cares
And you say you like it

But we both know you hate it
We know you are the loneliest man around
With a desire to feel wanted again
To be loved
But you say yo don't and so life goes on

A pictures worth a thousand words
And hell, I ain't no artist
But I'll draw you one anyways

A pictures worth a thousand words
And I never know where to begin
But I'll draw the first line and see where it goes

A picture is worth a thousand words
So I made this
For you

A picture is worth a thousand words
Written in blood
An image of the self

Underneath the surface
And mind you, this is true of everyone
Lies something far more interesting
Much more intriguing
And often darker than anything you can  see

Take a girl
She's pretty, has a smile on her face
Laughs and flirts and teaser her way through the day
But alone, she is wreck
A mess of self hatred and bitterness
Waging a war on her body

Take a boy
He's tall, handsome, strong
A stud athlete, a great character kid
The kind of son you want your child to grow up to be
Yet on the inside he is miserable
Dad's a drunk with a temper
Mom left years ago
And he blames himself every moment for that
Wishing he wasn't alive

Take a woman
She works hard, with kids and a job
The children are smart, well mannered
They'd make any mother proud, and they are her pride and joy
But her husband is always gone on business
And the pain is too much to bear
So she turns to the pills that make her forget
The pills that came to run her life

Take a man
Wealthy, successful
Straight laced and out spoken, climbing that corporate ladder
A bachelor, and everyone assumes its by choice
H chose career over family and thrived
Or so they think
But little do they know he has a secret
A wife isn't exactly his style
He loves another man, who hates him for it
So he throws himself into his work
Until his fire had died, and he is burnt out

On the surface, success is a wonderful guise
For all the pain we bury inside

They said to always be honest
So I tried not to lie
But it seems that we would rather be ignorant
Than face a harsh reality

They said to always be honest
Even when the truth hurts
But my words fall on deaf ears
As you refuse to listen

They said to always be honest
So I told you how I felt
But you laughed and turned away
Cause you didn't want to help

They sad to always be honest
So as I am tying this noose
I want y'all to know
All I needed was someone to here the truth
Instead of barricading themselves in a world of lies

Sit with me stranger
And let me tell you a tale
Of magical nights
Beautiful days
Seconds that lasted hours
Years that lasted minutes
And a life that was worth living

We come in this world alone
Kicking and screaming
As if to announce to our other half
I am here
So come and find me

Our better half as some like to say
I agree
For love turns ordinary people
Into extraordinary heroes

A savior, if you will
Guarding us from sorrow, and strife
Protecting us from the evils that plague this Earth
Shielding us from all that would do us harm

Giving us the gift of a perfect day
Where nothing significant occurs
But the day is flawless
With her hand in yours
Under a blanket, searching the stars for answers
While words pass quietly, discussing this crazed thing we call living
The moment lasts forever
As you live it, it feels like eons
And in your mind's eye, it never fades

In that moment you realized that this is why we are born
To find that perfection in someone else
And when you find it, everything is okay
And the times seems to pass in huge spurts
You wake up pressed again them in December
And go to sleep in April, sighing with happy annoyance
At how their hair ended up in your face yet again
But it smells like her, so it is worth it a hundred times

And as you lie there in the moonlight, you look at her
She is so beautiful; there is no equal
You take the time to memorize everything
The curve of her lips, the shape of her eyes
And that night seems to last forever, as you hold her while she sleeps

Flash forward again, and its September
Fall is on its way, and as summer dies, you visit the beach
Dashing through the waves like fools
Splashing each other
Laughing like fools
Happy doing the mundane
for with the right person
The mundane is the amazing

I'm not ready for this
I know that's selfish of me
Yet I can't help how I feel
I thought I had more time
To brace myself
But the months suddenly became days
With one phone call, my entire perspective changed

Its almost Christmas
But you won't be here
You'll be away
In danger, making us proud
But leaving me in fear every second of the day
This is what you love to do
And I respect that more than you can imagine
But still, I am not ready

I  don't know how I will get through this
Despite our differences, you mean the world to me
Just please stay safe
Come home to me
Please Dad

Everybody has that best friend
The one of the opposite gender
They're cute, funny, flirty
Being with them feels like home
Its just so right, ya know?
Always at ease
Switching back and forth
Between the trivial and the important
The happiness and the sadness
That person that you hold while they cry
And chase after while they scream with laughter
About some stupid thing they did to annoy you
Knowing full well it wasn't annoying
It was wonderful

Everyone has that friend
The friend that just fits
I happen to be in love with mine
She doesn't feel the same.

Its funny how blind a man could be
What love can do to our perception
Ruining our objectivity
Worse than any intoxicant ever could dream of
How we come to ignore all of the flaws
In the person we love
How we turn a blind eye
To their evil inside
Our judgement clouded
We think they are perfect
And so, to us
They become perfect
The embodiment of our highest values
The answer to our hearts highest prayers
Its funny what love can do
Because its almost always a lie

Every time I see your face
I get a sinking feeling in my chest
That awkward combination of love and sadness that dominates my emotions
Hits me like a train
And I sit here dreaming
Dreaming of a time, and a place
That do not exist
Have not existed
And shall never come to pass
A place where somehow
You fell for me too
A time when somehow
I am happy
But it is all a fantasy
And then reality came home

She loves me
She loves me not
She loves me
She loves me not
She loves me not
She loves me not
It always comes back to this
Affection from afar
One sided, hidden
Longing infecting my every thought
Every moment, every action
Defined by the ultimate question
What if?

What if, she did love me
How would things be
Nights together under the stars, secrets swapped like treasures
Or how it usually is
Cold
Empty
Painful
I don't search for an answer to What if
Because I am afraid to find out

This is one for all those sad girls
Who just can't seem to understand
How beautiful they are, how perfect
The girl of somebodies dreams

This is one for all the fuckups
The one's who mean well
And try to be good
But always go down in flames

This one is for all the rejects
Sitting alone on the stairs
Life get's better son, I swear it
Someday this place will be yours

This is one for all the people
Who couldn't find a way to deal
So they checked out
Forever

This is one for you
And here's another for me
Raise your glass to the outcasts
Pray for them to be happy

I can't get her out of my head
It's this girl
A stranger to me, yet all I can think of
Beautiful beyond belief
A million dollar smile
The easiest laugh I have ever had the pleasure of hearing
Its this girl
And she will never be mine

Walks in the park
Naps in the sun
I just want some tea by the fire
Skinny dipping at midnight
Kisses stolen, snatches of heaven
Secrets shared, sleep long forgotten
I just want to love, and be loved

That's not how it works though
For me, anyways
I will get loneliness
Nights spent by myself
Nobody to share the blanket with
Or to rely on, while being relied on

Its this girl
And she won't be mine

The rain falls, a soft pitter-patter in the background
Over it plays our music, calm and sweet
A song of love lost, never to be found again
Sad music, the best we have
Outside the windows, we watch the world pass us by
The rain distorting images, refracting light
Making the world a foregin, beautiful place once more
Like when we were children
Uncorrupted by the cynicism we develeop as protection
From a cruel cruel world
You drive, while I sit passenger
We don't talk
Words would only spoil the moment
With the rain, and the music
Your hand and mine, intertwined
We achieve a state of peace, tranquility
Perfection
And then
SWERVE
No more

Is there a hell?
A place where cursed souls go to suffer for their sins
Burning and wasting away for all eternity in the fiery depths?
With Lucifer, the Devil, the famed fallen angel, ruling with an iron fist?

Why yes, my friend
There is
But, not the hell religion gave us
You see, hell is here on Earth
And it is a place inside of us
The dark, evil twisted areas of the mind
The suffocating darkness, the stinging emptiness
Hell is the loss of hope, and love
When you can't see any way out
And you drift along, not living
But surviving
Barely
Blood draining, lungs filled with smoke
Long Sleeves all summer, because that's how you roll
Hell, my friend, is where I was,where I am
Where you left me, alone
To struggle with the abyss inside of me
Weaponless, powerless
Faltering
Dead

It’s a daily battle
Me versus the fatigue
The soul crushing emptiness that fills me
And the dark thoughts that creep in
My defenses long battered, my energy drained
Chinks in the armor shine through
And I begin to falter, gradually weakening
The darkness asserts itself, carving out a foothold
And the emptiness spreads, filling the cavities of my chest
The days drag on, leading into nights filled with despair
My head pounds, my thoughts race
Will I ever escape this hell?

Fear and sorrow consume me
Conquering reason, allowing the evil to spread
Hope is dead, love has fled
Everywhere my defenses crumble
Leaving me raw and vulnerable

The emptiness has finished tis conquest
I am hollow inside, my soul devastated
The darkness has annexed my brain, destroying my sense of self
I have but one weapon left
An ace in the hole, as it were
Though I fear it may be too late to save me
The darkness lays siege to my last hope
Gnawing away, filling me with doubt
Faith in God has kept me alive
Yet that faith is failing, His presence faltering
I feel abandoned, my light snuffed out
Smoldering coals are all that is left of me

But, before they fade to black
I rally
Calling on my inner strength, and my savior above me
Throwing of the shackles of the darkness
And beginning the fight anew


This fight is eternal
The war shall never end
But I am surviving
I shall always endure