every morning i wake up
feels like my last day on this earth
my bodys out of commission
the gears are clogged and worn down
if it was a place it would look like downtown

I take the train every wednesday
just to see a friend
working on art, making headway
hoping the colors will blend

my boss terrifies me
don't know why
i keep things low key
just trying to get by

so help me

i wish my tire had blown out that night
i wish my car had skidded off the road
i wish i had broken my neck
i wish i had been crippled
but i didn't crash

i wish i had taken that short cut through that empty parking lot
i wish i got jumped
i wish they had broken my ribs
put me in the hospital
but i didnt get jumped

how do i reconcile this?
these relations i once had with my past?
Or do i just move on? only time will tell


*still a work in progress

Its been 3 years still picking up glass
don’t know where you are But this will be the last
3 long years picking up glass

its off my chest and giving you perspective
still insecure,
your lies,
run away from all your problems and left me out to dry

now clocked in
scratching on borrowed time
need to get out of here
wheres the door
you saw my letter but I know you threw it away. I waited to long and Im sorry.
Didn’t know what you want from me.

why cant you give me the time or the day?
stop leading me on
you could've just said no but you play these games
and always slip away
were always told to not give up
cause will find someone that's are missing half

I hope you die alone, ugly and miserable
we could've been happy but you ****** that up too
have fun on your pedestal cause we gave up
to you were probably monsters but thats fine
moving on cause i'm done laying myself on the line

there some roads you cant come back from
When I was capsized I couldn't find you by my side
So now i'm digging a ditch cause i was asleep at the switch

this isnt you
your this girl who likes to argue with me about every little thing
and i hate it because we both know your smarter than me
you like to watch me when you think i'm sleeping
and trace the outlines of my face
your beautilful in general

I wish my head would stop spinning

it really scares me because i dont want to die

we all decide on how much sin we can live with

you were my anchor

my home away from home

i am alone
the black sheep out of step with the world
i am so cold
can feel this cold world seeping down in my bones

did you ever care?
or did you only just fake it?
I cant take the hits
see all the scars that i wear

i know your happy but i wish you were sad
cause you know i feel ****** and will always be mad
the october skyline is wearing us out
don't know what i'm feeling
buts its something i wish i could do without

why wont don't you stay with me tonight?
i see you burning bright under the street lights

the light inside has broken but i still work
its a struggle everyday cause i'm overworked
the schedules and double shifts have not kept me sane
weighed down by these anchors and heavy chains

i wrote you a letter i know you didn't read it
but at least i can say i tried i know i hope you didn't mean it
you say "I'm always busy" and "never could commit"
yes i know ****** up theres no two ways about it

It's a dead place.
This town is like all the others, you know.
Listen.
You can hear it over the engine.
Just ******* drive Cuneo

It’s late and im drunk and this party ***** so I’ll go to my car and blast brand new til the sun comes up
you saw me and asked if “im alright?” and I let you in

Why do I come here? All this party does is make me wish I was dead. we walked the block back and fourth just passing time
we held hands and kissed

im drunk and this party ***** I’ll just go to my car

“why were you out here?” she said
And I looked to the ground
I'm alright
Why do I come here? when all this party does is make me wanna die?

I was your moon and you turned and left me

i went to visit someone close to the devil
not to hurt her,
just to get a sense of him
of who he is and what it would take to do what i have to
I learned that he has someone he loves
who loves, who mourn his loss.
even lucifer was once an angel
we are all we are
sometimes you make the right decision, sometimes you make the decision right
why did she put this devil in me?
clawing to be let out