Company was coming over
and I was high, out of my mind
black streaks all over my hands
still in my robe
in my pajamas

But being a man
of class, an etiquette
I fastened the button
on my pants
after all
company is coming over.

Once a girl told me
that the first time she met me
I was drunken and kept
pulling my knife on her
threatening to stab her.

Months later when we were
*******
I told her that it
was just
foreshadowing.

I try and scratch you from my memory
but every time I drink
you seep back into my peripherals
like the cracks in my old coffee mug
you drip
and drip
and drip
until I can ignore it
no longer, but I am not
without my own weapons
to fight off the memories
the terror is always here by my side
telling me what i need to hear
and I pay attention to it
and I drink, long and powerful drinks
letting the alcohol pour down my throat
feeling the poison stir in my gut
and feel the sweet euphoria rush to my head
and then suddenly, I am full of purpose
I have things to do
and a great black sky to scream at.

We met up again, somewhere in a dense cloud of smoke
I had been gone for a while, frozen in Alaskan ice
But we picked up where we assumed we would

"Nice to see you, *******"
It was nice to see you to, even though you are
a rotten *******, we get along because of it

Madness kept us drinking, and I was still flush
So from the first light of the morning,
when we scrapped the crust from our eyes
we stayed hydrated
and out of jail this time.

Maybe next time
we might finally be burned alive.

You have set me free
from you
and although there is nothing now
for me to hold onto
I am refitted with a strange and alien freedom
from longing
and the terror
and though I still am stricken
with a lonesome and crushing wave
it is to be expected
I expect
So now I run
no longer through the fields of your hair
in my dreams
but with my own
childish arrogance
and when the cold winds blow
it won't be your name they whisper in my red and bitter ear
most times
but at least your name is
carved deep in there
among the wax and hair
it is still written
but no longer will I yank
and tug
and try to pull a dream into reality
and that is what you have saved me from

give me peace
or whiskey
but at least
give me
whiskey

I didn't know that these old
friends of mine would go on
with life
without me

married now
some
building careers
the others
and now only
i am left
floating in the wind
still drunk
and aimless

where is it
that the see these things?
i cannot seem to
look to
the future
nor can i seem to
learn from
the past

so i make new friends
wherever i go
drunks like me
lost and aimless
and i never stick around
long enough
for any of them
to grow up