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Daniel Farnam Aug 2014
today at 10:55 a.m. a man died.
today at 11:00 a.m. I ate lunch
today at 10:10 a man was hungry for air.
today at 11:10 I was hungry for lunch
at 10: 30 a.m. a man was given morphine
at 11:30 a.m. i was given a prayer
at 10:50 a.m. a wife was cursing god
at 11:50 a.m. I was feeding someone who was dying in front of me slowly
at 11:00 am. a wife was dying inside alone
at 11:04 p.m. I was drunk
at 11:05 p.m. I was alone
at 11:05 p.m. I was
my third day of clinical at nursing school and I witnessed a 78 year old patient with Parkinson's disease die. its incredible to witness a soul leaving.
Daniel Farnam Jul 2014
here in this room with lucid thoughts in this dreaming universe I am exactly where I want to be. I'm in the future. if i want to fly I just have to realize that i already am flying. outside I'm running through fields. with infinite endurance. i come to a man i know is my father. I ask, "father, are you god?" he looks to the sky. a planet is falling from the heavens. it is going to land and send a massive wave of energy towards me. as it does a voice says, "A change in the wind is coming." and im awake here in this room with lucid thoughts in this dreaming universe
rough draft. about my first lucid dream. that came true
Daniel Farnam Feb 2014
at 43,000 feet            it's easy to see the big picture
  Time moves different at 43,000 feet
            I feel older          than I am  
I've left my friends behind     I can't even see them up here
At least I'm not alone      
        it feels like I left nature behind I am so high there is nothing near me
I am on my way to paradise
                 I have to fight the urge to free fall
                              plummeting down
                                      going back             in time
                                                    to where I was before I left
                                                                        falling is easier than flying
but I've got to keep looking up. I'll never get to paradise if I look down
43,000 feet is a long way to fall. How would I pick myself up from a fall like that anyway?
43,000 feet        I will be there soon
february 4th, 2014
original
Daniel Farnam Nov 2011
When I finally get to call you mine

It will be like the first breath after a coma

It will mean life for me

Until that moment

When I get to call you mine

I will be holding my breath in a deep sleep

Where I can only dream of you

That first breath after a coma,

Will give me life

And when I finally call you mine

I will be sorry that I wasted so much time

But forgive me

Because I’m lost

I’m lost in the dark

I’m lost in my mind

I am out of my mind because of you

Now I’m lost

But I’m coming to you

I can feel it. I have too

You will light up the darkness

I will see you with my own eyes

For the first time I will see into you and feel with my own heart

I will move my steady hand towards you

And I will touch you and hold you

And I will say I love you

With my first breath
11/9/2011
Daniel Farnam Jun 2011
Within the hour I’m twisted.
A different person.
New insights, new light,
A new world.
Wandering around familiar places
With a new sense of feeling.

The weeds that have taken over my yard
Are now connected to me.
My yard is the outcast in neighborhood.
Unclean, unkempt, unwanted.
But now I can see,
That my yard is me, personified.
These weeds are mine.
They sprouted and spread because of me.

As I walk through them
They no longer disgust,
But cling to me.
I take root near them.
I feel I have always been here.

The willow tree gives me shade from the stars and the moon.
Its hanging branches cover me with open arms.
Its leaves, just upside down weeds;
Reaching out to me,
Melting me in…

The air is humid.
The wind blows heat.
And now the ground turns soft.
My yard has become a marsh.
My own swamp.
I am unafraid,
But left wanting.

What have I turned into?
A new being
In a different world,
But all alone.
Has it always been this way?
Will it ever change?

This scene is forever marked on me.
A memory that can never be left
Or forgotten.
A portal on my skin.
Now I can always return to my marsh,
My swamp,
My kingdom.
Maybe I can take you there and never be alone?
http://i1209.photobucket.com/albums/cc390/dfarnam1/IMG_0907.jpg
Daniel Farnam Jun 2011
We share this theater together
And watch the act patiently.
We applaud those who perform well,
And even louder and harder for those who only had the courage to try.
We watch the dancers on the stage,
Our youth on stage,
Ourselves on stage.

It is beautiful.
It is raw.
It is real.
It is not perfect and some will fall,
But we all feel together.
We lift each other up.
It is love.

We are all together
On the stage as actors,
As graceful dancers,
And brilliant musicians
Performing as one.

We are all connected
In the audience as proud parents,
As loving relatives,
And respectful friends,
Cheering as one.

It is not perfect.
It is life,
Raw and real.
Some will fall,
But we all feel together
And we’ll lift each other up
As one.
For ourselves,
And for each other.
Original 6/19/2011
I wrote this after attending my little half sister's first dance recital. I was moved by the unity in the performance, as well as in the audience. At the beginning of the show, a little girl dancer could only cry, immobilized by embarrassment and fear. However, as soon as she got the courage to twirl in rhythm, the whole audience burst into applause and she finished with an enormous smile on for the rest of the routine. It was as if she was surprised to be accepted so easily. A few of the father's from the audience shocked everyone when they all at once walked on stage and had a whole coordinated dance performance for themselves planned. I can only imagine what this did to bolster the little dancers' courage to see their old man up there in front of everyone, as well as connect the audience to the performance. It was special and I am proud of little Sophia Farnam.

Also I wrote this while listening to  Nostrand by Ratatat. I feel that reading and listening helps to connect the piece together and gives it voice. Just a thought.
Daniel Farnam Jun 2011
Where did my love go?
Where is the friend that I always knew?
This dream is void of meaning.
This song is without lyrics.
This heaven is lonely.

I wish you were here

I’ve already forgotten the way your skin felt.
The curves your body made…
The slight raise of your smile…
I’ve forgotten the way your hair smelled.
The way your eyes locked onto mine.
The softness of your lips…
I’ve already forgotten those sweet words you said.
How they made me feel.
Such a beautiful image of us framed for one night
Only to be forgotten the next day.
I wish you were here,
Here where I am…
Trying desperately to remember the night
When we were together.

My friend who is always away;
My brother, tell me who is my mother?
Where was father when I was born?
Do we really have sisters?
Or are we all just alone together?
Absence has played a large presence in my life…
Where did everyone go?
Our youth was torn from us,
But at least we kept our lives...
Some of us weren’t so lucky.
I wish you were here,
Here where I am…
Trying desperately to remember the past
When we were all together.

Where did my love go?
Where is the friend that I always knew?
This world is void of meaning.
This symphony is without lyrics.
This paradise is lonely.

I wish you were here
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