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Mar 2015 · 390
Untitled
Danaca Terlaje Mar 2015
How can I be so selfish?
I mean, I have you. I finally have you. I finally have someone I've always wanted. I've never believed in this word "Perfect". That whole word tasted ***** in my mouth.
But hey, I have you.Somehow I was blessed with this amazing,beautiful miracle of finding love. Someone who can save me..You have saved me.
Yet, when we're apart, oh my god I hate this. I hate this feeling in my chest. I get this pit in my stomach full of hot rocks. It's unsettling. It's almost painful.
I never thought I could rely on someone so much. I never thought I would. Yet,here we are. You're gone just for a few days but I swear to you if feels like a life time. When are you coming back? My lips are starving for you taste. My body is aching for you touch. I really need you.
How can I shake this feeling? I know, it isn't healthy.I should be able to go without you for a couple of days right? I mean, isn't that how it should be?
But then again is this what "Love" is all about? I wouldn't know. I always thought I've felt "Love",but this... Something in me just clicked. Something in me just sparked once I felt your touch for the first time...Hearing your voice sent shivers down my spin.The type of shivers I want...
When are you coming home to me?
May 2014 · 330
unfinished
Danaca Terlaje May 2014
As the party went on through the night I couldn't help but to look at him.. He was smiling, laughing with her.. Then when she ran to the little girls room there was a new smile, new dress. Why do I care? We agreed. "Just friends.No attachments." But there I was..Looking.. There he was..Looking. There were guys I would talk to, I wouldn't push them away.. But at the end of the day it was his lips I'd be kissing, his body on top of mine. How can I do this? How I let go?
Feb 2014 · 374
I tried but I am.
Danaca Terlaje Feb 2014
I tried to better my self for you..
I tried to become someone greater than this mess.
I tried to make you smile.
I tried to make you see the brighter side.
I tried being there for you.
I tried to help you.
I tried to make them listen.
I tried to explain my self, I tried to help you explain yourself.
I tried being this person.. The one I want to see in the mirror & smile back.
I am this mess.
I am this sick, tired, lonely, selfish fool that can't stop loving you.
I am this stupid, weak, full of lust mental case that can't stop thinking of a "Perfect World". Where I am something better, where we are together.
-D.
This poem was kind of a rant that's been in my mind.It's been a very intense, emotional two weeks & this poem is basically what's been repeating in my head.Thank you.
Jan 2014 · 327
15.
Danaca Terlaje Jan 2014
15.
I thought all the butterflies flew away, but talking to you.. Hearing your laugh. I found one more beautiful butterfly hiding.
How could this be? I thought the garden was empty.I thought it was destroyed-
But looking at that smile of yours made all the flowers grow once again.. It was so crowded, so much color, so much life..& my heart,wow- It felt lighter, it felt better.
Could it actually happen again? Could we be happy together again?
-D.
Jan 2014 · 306
I'm just sad.
Danaca Terlaje Jan 2014
I'm just sad.
How do I let this go?
How can I become something new?
I don't want to feel this anymore, I don't want to keep waking up and asking "Why?"
I want to be happy and see the future so bright, no matter the outcome.
I don't want to be feeling this so soon.. Or ever. I don't want to think of my life some dark hole I couldn't escape. I want to see some kind of light.
I'm tired of pretending this smile. I want it to be real.
Why can't I just think of something happy and stay happy? Why do I have to force my self to get out of bed and why do I have to force my self to see the ones I love? Shouldn't I want to without hesitation?
I'm just sad.
-D.
Jan 2014 · 438
No more.
Danaca Terlaje Jan 2014
You know what hurts me the most?
What hurts me so ****** much is that I was fighting for someone that wouldn't even do the same for me.
I was begging for something that doesn't even exist.
There was nothing between us except some fast spark between two teenagers that are both wounded.
I thought us "finding our way back to each other" was some fate sign that we were meant to last. That our fate was forever.
This night made me realize that was some sick joke..
There was never "We can try again.", there was never "You're the one I want."
I don't know how I got here… How I finally realized this, but now that I have…Maybe I can finally heal..No more scars that get cut open all over again. No more nightmares..No more pain.
-D.
Jan 2014 · 339
I can't have it all.
Danaca Terlaje Jan 2014
I just wanted to be happy..
It seems like that's to much to ask for.
I just asked for you to be there for me.
I guess I'm impossible to stand.
We didn't even fight, nothing happened..
You just called it quits.
I say I'm okay when I'm around the world, but now that I'm alone in my room..
Wow, I'm really sad. All I want is you. Is to be happy with you.
You sought another escape. You left me behind.
-D.
Aug 2013 · 660
I miss you, okay?
Danaca Terlaje Aug 2013
I miss you, okay?
I miss the way the tip of your nose slid across my cheek..
I miss the way your lips softly planted kisses on my forehead..
I miss the way you held me in your arms as I fell asleep...
I miss our hands fitting perfectly together, how I felt safe..
I miss you and your ways, but they were right...
Now the fires out and I'm stuck in the dark thinking about you and your ways...
I miss you,okay? But the miles kept us away...
-D.
Jul 2013 · 2.2k
Aladdin...
Danaca Terlaje Jul 2013
I was born in the "island of thieves",
but moved to "the city of dreams".
I started to learn to believe anything could be,
then I grew up and realized that the "island of thieves" is nothing but the ones who couldn't believe, who couldn't achieve.
They were thieves because they stole the dreams of another.
The ones who made it to the top, who never stopped.
They borrowed the hopes to one day not be a thieve, but to be a king.
-D.
Danaca Terlaje Jul 2013
We smelt of cigarettes and heartbreaks.
We touched uneasy and tense.
But we tried like we were new and full of spirit.
We smelt of alcohol and regret.
We touched rushed and full of greed,
But we promised to never leave.
No matter how bad we smelt of cigarettes and how much heartbreak we had.
No matter how much alcohol or how much we think of our selves before others sometimes...
We're here and we're not going back.
-D.
Jul 2013 · 375
Let's Play
Danaca Terlaje Jul 2013
One, Two, Three you counted on me.
Four, Five Six you ended up in tears.
Seven, Eight, Nine You were tired of my lies.
Ten, Eleven, Twelve you question everything you've ever known.
Now you're counting down to three, two, one you said your life is done.
-D.
Jul 2013 · 1.1k
Big Dreams in a Little Girl
Danaca Terlaje Jul 2013
I got this big city dream, but I'm stuck in this little town where everyone frowns and they put each other down.
No one believes in anyone, it's pretty **** depressing.
But I'm that one in a million.
My papa once sang to me "Twinkle twinkle little star, someday you're going to make it so far."
Harmonies and words play in my mind, filling my soul up all the way to the top.
The worlds going to be mine on day, you just watch..
-D.
Jul 2013 · 327
Stuck In The Corner
Danaca Terlaje Jul 2013
When I had you nothing was ever good.
Fighting, screaming, always tears falling from my eyes;
But when you left,when you were gone
****,what happened to the love we shared?
Did you ever care?
BAM
Hit me like a ton of bricks
Fell down like I was getting kicked
Kicks to the heart
What happened to eternity
Baby,you & me
You use to la,la,la
Now all I hear is blah blah blah
Never getting to the point
All you're hitting are those joints
Stuck in the moment,what happened to the future?
-D.
Jun 2013 · 356
Oh Monroe
Danaca Terlaje Jun 2013
Oh Monroe,
I'm sorry that I fell to the floor.
I got so weak and I couldn't speak.
My knees gave out and we couldn't get that help we needed.
Am I bleeding?
Stay with me,
Oh Monroe please don't go...
I know it was unexpected but then I was so excited..
Oh Monroe, please don't go..
-D.
Jun 2013 · 310
One..Two..
Danaca Terlaje Jun 2013
I realized I wasn't the only one in his life,
He promised someone else she'll be his wife.
I'm not trying to be selfish, but he told me about the ring
and all the other different things we could be.
I was walking on the street all by myself, actually seeing how alone I was.
He was walking along the street with a beauty I couldn't beat....
-D.
Jun 2013 · 437
A.P
Danaca Terlaje Jun 2013
A.P
Lying in the dark she thinks of where it went wrong,
She cries until 3 am,
Letting the inner demons play in her head.
She thinks the world is a lie, she thinks of the day where she can finally die.
But what she doesn't know is that the world is mesmerized by her beauty..
Where without her the world would be missing a bright star....


-Dear Alana,
You mean the world to me and without you I wouldn't know what to do. I know that's the most cliche line ever but it's completely true. Although distance is between us you're still family to me and I'll do what I can to make sure you're okay.
So much has happened to you with no answers given and I know it's hard but I promise you it'll be okay and someday you'll realize that sometimes having no answer IS the answer.
Sometimes it just happens, life throws an unexpected card down and you're suppose to deal with it.
People don't give you a handbook on how to deal with it, but I know you can handle this with the most grace you have. You're the strongest, most caring person in the world, and no matter what I know you can get through this. I love you..
-D.
May 2013 · 771
I miss you Papa...
Danaca Terlaje May 2013
Five years ago today my whole world changed.
But somehow I'm still waiting like a broken doll waiting to be played.
I'm trying to hold on to what little remains;
Still waiting for that trip back in May.
Never forgetting that promise we made.
Now I'm realizing you're not coming back though,
But yet, I feel like an abandoned home at the end of the road.
You're missing all the roses that grow..
-D.
May 2013 · 333
Distance.
Danaca Terlaje May 2013
I'm came home for the winter and I saw your face;
It's not the same.
Miles away gave us pain.
I tried to stay, but you were okay.
At least that's what you told me.
Those days alone on the road hurt like hell.
But thinking about you now, with her...
I know what it means to be in such pain that your chest is tighten,the walls are closing in on me and I can't escape it.
I can't make my way to you like I promised.
-D.
I'm sorry for the distance I've made..
May 2013 · 233
Untitled
Danaca Terlaje May 2013
She can be loved, but she doesn't believe that.
She sits in her room in the dark thinking of ways to stop her heart.
She use to have a big ol' smile on her face,
Until one day..
Everything changed.
Now all she has is the memory and an old tee shirt.
-D.
May 2013 · 347
A not so fairy tale
Danaca Terlaje May 2013
The trees are now dark with the ash from our use to be love.
The water is now stained with the blood of our pain.
Our hearts now broken from what we thought would be forever.
"Once upon a time" turned into "We tried".
Now where do we go from here?
I see nothing but what we promised we're never be.
Don't you see?
We weren't suppose to be..
-D.
May 2013 · 406
Tick Tock
Danaca Terlaje May 2013
12 AM and I'm still laying here.
My mind is filled with the pictures of you and I.
Days on the couch,days we lounged.
Remembering the day you you told me about all your scares.
That ones from this and this is from that.

1 AM and I'm observing the moon.
I'm observing it the way I observed you that day at the lake.
The way your eyes glimmered with the water.
The way your hand stretched for mine,holding me close so I wouldn't fall.
That day I fell hard though,I fell for your blue eyes matching the water,your blond hair shining with the sun rays.

2 AM couldn't come any faster.
You said,"1,2,3…", and like a perfect harmony we sang "I love you"
You loved the way I wrote,using the moon as my light.Your words for my inspiration.
I loved the way you spoke,soft but with purpose.Your words entranced me easily.
That first night was special.I was scared but you reassured me.

3 AM snuck up on me.
Now I'm thinking where it went wrong.
How our little stares turned into big arguments.
I love yous turned into just leave me alone.
I guess this is our end.
I guess I'll try and fall asleep now.
-D.
May 2013 · 572
The blurry glass.
Danaca Terlaje May 2013
She was in a world of the same **** thing.
They were all scared of the reality.
She could see far from the unknown,actually curious.
They couldn't grasp the known,actually confused.
She wanted to explore her self,know what she's about.
They wanted to stay in that safety zone,know nothing about themselves.
She finally cracked,broken the glass of the same **** thing and grew the wings she dreamed about.
They all doubted,but quietly stared at her beauty.
I never looked back.
-D.
May 2013 · 357
I gave in.
Danaca Terlaje May 2013
I'm over stressed and depression.
I have scars all over my arms reminding me of everything that could of been.
The days where I gave in, shut the world off and just kept to my self.
I can't breathe,I can't stand straight.I can't do this.
I gave in,I gave in to the sharp edges of my broken heart and held tight.
Slid deep and watched my ****** tears hit the floor of the unknown.
-D.
Danaca Terlaje May 2013
I never wanted to be that girl..
I didn't wana keep thinking about you...
I don't want to keep crying over you..
You're like a bad dream.
You keep getting repeated in my mind..
I don't wana hear your voice anymore,
But you keep whispering all the things I wana hear.
You didn't give a **** about me,but "Baby I need you."
You never loved me,but "I can't imagine my life without you."
The memories of us keeping drowning in.
My sorrows are the waves...
My hope is my last breathe..

-D.
May 2013 · 463
You&Me
Danaca Terlaje May 2013
We go back & forth like some kind of war,
We can't get resolved; Don't think we want to.
We keep going back & forth like some kind of storm.
Thunder & lighting; Here we go.
I need you.
You love me.
We can't trust one another.
We can't live without each other.
Just say it,
I'll admit it,
I'll forgive but not forget.
You'll drop it but it'll always be in the back of your mind.
Why can't this storm just over?Why haven't we ran out of bullets?

-D.
May 2013 · 568
The End.
Danaca Terlaje May 2013
Once upon a time,She met him..He met her & the other one.
He took her to the top of the hill to count the stars,but always had the other one on his mind.
One day,
"I love you",he said.
She blindly believed her love.
He took it for granted,but she never thought twice about it.
She thought they had it better than Romeo & Juliet,he thought of the other one.
Every night her love for him grew stronger than she could imagine,every night he missed the other one a lot more than he expected.
"I love you",she gushed out,"I love you too."He forced out.
One day she thought about the wedding dress,the flowers.
That same day he went to visit the other one, his  love.
She waited that night,thinking about what will be and the "yes,I do."
He left that night,taking all his things and crushing her dreams.
When she awoke that next morning she noticed her world empty and dark.
The sky was crying as well;
All she could think of was that wedding dress,the flowers,the love of her life.
The rain was hitting them,he held the love of his life in his arms.
All he could think about was the children & the "I do",
But not to you....

-D.
May 2013 · 417
We use to be love
Danaca Terlaje May 2013
You promised me all these things,
but now I'm trying to at least remember my self before you..
Before all the butterflies & the heart break you've given me
Before all the gifts & the bruises I've received from you.
What happened to the nights of talking? They started to get replaced by my screams & the pain in my chest.
What happened to the "I love you",Now they're all "I hate you" ...

-D.

— The End —