Today was so good
I made pancakes, no blueberries
We went for a walk
Took the long way this time
You picked flowers along the way
I enjoyed our talk

Did laundry and dishes
I made the bed
Turned on the radio
You danced with me
Blondie curls and pink dress swayed
I love you more then you know

The sunset as I started dinner
You prefer peanut butter and jelly
Soft innocent laughter fills the air
The cat fell off the couch, again
You and he are thick as thieves
He sleeps tangled in your hair

I heard the phone and knew
Our day together had ended
You say, "Tomorrow let's color"
Why can't they leave us alone
I can't breathe in their reality
Darkness finds a childless mother

Here is to that one kiss
The one that changed it all
Here is to falling like fool
You are now the one I miss

Here is to praying I am right
That you are real and mine
Here is to dreams coming true
In your thoughts by day and dreams by night

Here is to those who jump and yell
"Geronimo" do or die trying
Here is to my beautiful distraction
I'm yours now, one kiss and I fell

Somewhere in the infinite darkness
It comes, a sound, a whisper barely
No one could be with her in this place
Souls wither in such utter emptiness

Lights illuminate the scene, illuminate everything
Open is the door leading to her room
Open are the innocent children's eyes
Their cries come, their fear is paralyzing

Voices she knows, wishing it wasn’t so
Recognition accompanies crushing disappear
She fell so deep, so easily, so instantly
Unheard she screams, “Leave now, please go”

Track marks exposed, she managed to cover
Once hidden needles, buried deep in her vain
Pointless masquerade among beautiful ignorance
Heartbroken they beg , “Please wake mother”


Under heavy gray skies, beneath a leave barren tree
No child should sit beside the grave of mommy
Her princess baby, one and only boy, dancing little lady
Lost in unending blackness, crying out, searching for me.

It is so hard to believe anyone, or anything, anymore
His hands were strong, his touch was like no one before
He looked in my eyes and I made myself believe just maybe
My head resting on his chest I prayed he was for only me

We were standing wrapped in each other’s arms that night
How could one man, a total stranger, feel so suddenly right
I couldn’t tell him how he moved me, I had to hold back
He could never understand I saw he had what others lack

Nothing so surprisingly short should hurt so deep or so long
I can still feel him in the darkness, so beautiful, so strong
Never been this lost before, never known that kind of joy
Always wanted a chance to fall in love with a real cowboy

Every morning she opens her eyes to the same familiar faces smiling
Every morning he opens his eyes knowing he is missing something
Her day is planned down to the minute; she chooses and wants it this way
His day is planned down to the minute; he has no choice and no say

Everyday it’s homework, cheer leading, or church she has no time to doubt
Every day waiting, hoping, and praying someone will pay so he can get out
She struggles to keep it going, keep it all straight, keep everyone on track
He struggles to keep it together, keep the lies straight, keep from looking back.

Every night she bathes them, reads a bedtime story, and gives kisses goodnight
Every night he fights the memories, prays they know he wants to hold them tight
She knows she is all they have, the only one to show them a better way to live
He knows he failed them, this time they may not be able to forget or forgive

Every minute her heart is filled with the joy found in moments only she will see
Every minute his heart breaks knowing he lost the chance to be the dad he could be
She fights tears when they ask why, “My daddy is lost” is all the baby can say
He fights tears when she says, “I won’t bring them here. You made it this way”.

I really shouldn’t ever wonder or ask why
A bird with a broken wing simply can’t fly

Eight point star, you reap what you sow
It found me, this is all I really know

I only climbed up some, not out, not free
Darkness calls, “come back, falling is easy”

I want to heal, want to move beyond fear
Lost the me I was, if I scream will anyone hear

Watching it burn tore at me like a hot knife
Must be the consequence for my wasted life

Lonely for so long, emptiness so unending
No one sees, no one knows my thinking

Give up, give in, live a life of hating my sin
Look up, look within, live like today I will win

Help me, I know so clearly what I should choose
Help me, I know so clearly what I stand to loose

Soft flesh exposed in the dim moon light,
We embrace our needs and desires.
Warm, wet, heat radiating between my thighs,
Your hard raw power has awaited this night.

My body pulsates in time with your heart,
Two become one instantly, seamlessly.
Come home to me my love,
I  wait for your return before I start.

My hearts been broken,  
It never hurt this much.
Every breath, every step,
Every moment causes pain.
The world feels fuzzy,
Under this unending haze.
Asleep, awake, it changes nothing,
I wonder if I am still sane.

Someone, somewhere, show mercy,
I am on my knees begging please.
No way, nowhere, never foresaw,
That our ending would start.
I fear that I did this somehow,
The thought is too much to bare.
I miss smiling, I miss happiness,
I miss you, I miss my heart.