If I could, I would unbutton
every cell in my body;
spread them out,
indexed and cataloged
for an easier read.

All of my secrets,
my dreams and quirks,
and the chemicals behind each action
laid in array for you
to decipher as you would.

When you had finished,
I would button each one
back into position;
one beneath the other,
snapped back together.

Then my secrets would be yours.

this quaking land
a fear within its faults
humbled man
chagrin anew
all wan memory halts

the woods will sigh
exhale the dust of yawn
forget to write
reply in turn
littering upon the lawn

a cabbage head
with grimace strained
upon
your doorstep
wilts

I can imagine
its eyes explained
redeemed
on summer
stilts

Les chiens qui aboient au-dessous de ma fênetre
Me rappelle d'un autre jour
Où je suis heureuse et contente--
Où je suis captivée par l'amour.

Dans mes rêves et pensées,
Ils font une promenade;
Ils me disent, «Tu n'es pas
Tout ce qui ton façade

Laisserait les gens, qui nagent
Dans les larmes chaudes
Avec les bras flechis
Et les yeux emeraudes,

Savoir,» et puis ils partent
Pour abandonner ses raisons
De vivre, d'aimer, d'être
Et ces mots dans une combinaison.

Je crie, «Attends!» toujours,
Et toujours, ils continuent,
Et je continue à les regarder
Alors que ses ombres diminuent.

Les nuages volent au-dessus
Des choses vivantes, fières,
Et j'espère quelque jour pouvoir
Trouver mes rêves comme ces craintes découvertes.

I am going to be a strict machine;
Amongst screws and bolts will be the blood of me.
With some twists and turns that carry through,
I will take control of all you knew.

For a head I will have a bowling ball,
A fixture so round, smooth, opaque, and small;
Holes to carry me, sleek surface to move,
A variable mass with headstrong dreams to prove.

My eyes will hold all to be seen around
That counts for more than even sky or ground,
Than sun or rain, than death or life:
Than pleasure and pain balanced with strife.

I'll elect to locate naught for an ear
To replace with silence the sounds of fear.
Instead I shall have a decorative lace
For all the good  it would do in its place.

Holding my innards will be a strong steel,
A robust cage built to withstand repeal.
It won't buckle nor bruise, fracture nor fall;
Its strength shall prove aspiration for all.

My foundation, the base on which I stand
Shall be something springy for when I land.
Smoothly mobile and long in stride,
They alone will be the source of my pride.

Discarded and buried, left to rot
Are all the scars and wounds you wrought.
Pieces spoiled,  marred beyond reason
I surrender to yield life in another season.

I want to tear open my insides,
let you read my intestines like tea leaves,
see the tumbling of my thoughts
& the hidden, quiet promises
my heart hums as it is set on fire.

I want to photograph that moment
when the flames lick my flesh,
igniting memories, passion, desire
& eating, too, evidence of past pulses;
rhythms erased in the fire of my desperation.

I want to show you a heart, newly formed,
bright red, wet, and yours forever.

Curve of clouded sky:
a pregnant future pressed against its limits.
Puffed cheeks full of destined secrets,
a compromise of molecules
sculpting form from pressure and restraint.
This gasp withheld:
drawn in anticipation
and silenced behind pursed lips
(a desperate consumption of hard-won pleasures).
Innocuous expulsion,
tempering fair-weather:
The quiet before the war.

I don't just want to be made;
I want to be remade by you.
I want to be unrecognizable
with a peculiar smile,
explosive, unexpected:
a candid spark of that secret pleasure.
I want to be all nerves,
desperate, shivering, raw
in the melted snow, exposed
and thawed, rubber warm
and oddly pleasing.
I want sliding eyes, electric;
I want words unspoken
felt like a steady, patient pulse.
I want the candles on the
grocery store shelves to leave
me briefly possessed by memory:
a kiss on the cheek like a habit in a hurry,
an instant frozen in time.
I want to stop breathing
so you have to remind me:
I want my heart, in syncopation,
to skip its beats and leap for yours.

Your toes, a careless addition
to your bare feet, mystify me:
that they can be so nonchalant
and graceless in such miraculous proximity.
All of it is perplexing;
all of it burns like the courage of a vigilante;
And I want to be devoured.