carry me through lands of dreams
sleepy shamans oaths perceived
the new humans rewrite their creed
to reconstruct the codes beneath.
as sands of time brush through my lungs,
beneath where silver moons once hung,
the catalyst for earths progressions,
tantric winds of gods procession
are pulled to fuel the fires in our chest.
to fuel the fires in us.

ride the colors of the wind, my friend;
dance with death until your end.
the serpentine son rises to speak eternal truths
and soon his weary eyes will rest upon you.

the deepest shades of blue green hue
from the swoon of palaces
dreamt of once, so long ago
where trees from ancient soils will grow
and we, collect their morning dew.

you have wandered into my heart
without wiping your feet,
and have planted your garden
with some peregrine seed,
uprooting suspicion to feed the roots you know i need.
not the slightest premonition
hinting at this fires ignition,
with harmonies conspicuous,
it brought me to a full fruition.

you make me become me,
scraping tar from ancient condition
a reassessment of the needs,
a very natural division.
and though many of my deeds,
however morbid they may be
fade from your conscious recognition;
oh my true soul, you've made free.

so you may walk upon my heart.
tread heavily, with boots of lead,
for you have become the reason
for it to even bother to beat.

I cashed out all my chips
got them exchanged for all their worth,
the tattered rags upon my body
I give back unto the earth
for sacrifice to be accepted,
all my blood turns into dirt.
I don't want to be forgiven,
just loose the weight,
disperse the girth.

I've tried so hard to lift my arms,
but this body's just a curse
I've got the prison of my skin
beneath which all is coded verse 
try as I might, I can't take flight
though my head floats above the clouds
nobody hears the violent storm which springs from out my mind, so loud

convex'd, I'm hexed,
convinced that I will not find rest
the earth must feed from me
and plant it's seeds deep in my chest.

the soldier knelt to fix his cap,
dug deep into trenches, he stopped.
amidst the shots, he reached for the map
if not in his pocket, it’s lost.
“it seems like we’ve been here for years”
the man beside him squawked.
“an hour seems like many days,
because we’ve gotten so lost.”
unsure of quite how to respond,
the soldier raised his brow
but as he was about to speak,
the man who’d spoken went down.

the soldier raised his head to see the great alsace-lorraine.
the war had raged for far too long, and so he contrived an escape.
he planned to sneak across the flank,
advance the trench on his own
but as he stood to make his break, his heart
sank quite gut-wrenchingly low.
he thought to himself in a humble tone,
“i can’t do this alone.”
although his intentions were clearly courageous,
his weakness truly had shown.

as lady luck would have her way,
the days kept withering by
as the soldier so fervent to capture this land
tried not to keep track of the time.
they advanced to the east, but to their dismay
the french would push them right back
and until a day they’d find a way,
the men had no way to attack.
a fateful storm rolled in one day,
a blanket of snow o’er the field
and the mood of both great war machines,
had slowly came to a yield.
the soldier, so tired of the weight of the war
climbed out, with a fire in his eye.
he raised his rifle high in the air
and cried “Deutschland über alles”

the soldier then fell onto his knees,
and raised his hands to the the sky
not seconds passed before the scream
as snow and french bullets did fly.
the soldier was struck right through his lung
and grasped his chest to breathe
but all could see his head was hung
as the soldier collapsed from his knees.
there was no escape, he said to himself
as the snow slowly blurred into light
and he passed away on the holy ground
and they never did win that fight.

i’ve painted gentle pictures on the insides of my mind;
with a water-colored brush, no sense of where to end the lines,
without periphery to guide me, no direction to define
and even less, a sense of definition to entice my eyes.

but as the paint would splatter, there was always more to go,
and once her lovely darling eyes would ask me,
i would find new things to show,
as if they were becoming
an alignment with my own,
she was the only thing that told me
i could find my own lost soul.

and that’s perhaps the reason why
she could not stay to see
if she could be the one
to really help myself find me.

but i’ll always be
...searching,
for more
of it

thought i heard her slip
"i love you"
from her tongue into my ear.
couldn't catch it in the silence,
it was much too loud to hear
the warm vibrations of her hands
passing goosebumps on to me;
but i awoke alone to find
these things were only
of a dream

furious as the sun,
vibrant as the moon
dancing tantric motions
through a swift magnetic swoon.
our cups are overflowing,
now the spillage will ensue
but ive become alright
with spilling myself into you

penetrating my flesh with your gaze,
soaked into the earth
as the suns brightest rays,
a quite brilliant display
of the spectrum of light
you engulf every day. 
and once passes the light of the late afternoon
you still cut through the dark
as the light of the moon,
your heart shines on strongly
and the night ends so soon,
the hours are only as moments with you.

furious as the sun,
vibrant as the moon,
now I'm  lost for words
as once again it came so soon
we've come here searching the same thing,
the fearless conquerers of truths.
and when even the constants
start changing themselves,
our nature is
clearly
*unmoved.

Oh pretender,
actions expose the weakness
as cold November slowly sickles
it's gangly fingers to your ribs.
your bitterness invites it in, 
the ornate facade of skin 
only hides the truth from yourself,
no one else.

you’re stuck inside the web;
theres too much tangled in my head.
im wrapped up in my thoughts again,
left dusting all the old cobwebs
from every subtle angle that
i hadn’t noticed you leave your caress;
you left your fingerprints in black
and pressed all up and down my chest,
where they might fill the empty space
and replace all that i had left,
but that’d been carved of replete stone
and so it can’t ever come back.

but somehow still my arms outstretch,
just waiting for your blood red hands
to come devour the last of it,
to sink your teeth
because you can.

trust is like a mirror’s lust
to convey only truth;
to portray even clearer views
of what remains astute.
and in its path;
beholder’s eyes
are searching for the roots;
reminded of the innocence
protected by their youth

but left with only what is there
the self observed is unaware
and though reflections seem to move;
at truth you’re made to stare.

if you don’t have the map
then what is it i’m trying to find?
you’ve left me deep within
the corridors of your uncharted mind.

without a single room unlocked,
engulfed by boldly ticking clocks
your shadows come to strangle me
and cover every step i walk.
...
i’m choking; as i gasp to breathe
these demons tower over me,
your mind is locked from the inside;
no doorway out, no way to flee

these moving walls are closing in
they’ve got to swallow me up whole.
the sacrifice that must be made
shall claim my body as it’s toll.

yet even still i’m in your head
the lucid harbinger of dreams;
a watchmen over blackened hearts;
the life within the planted seed.

if i were you,
how could it be,
that we would stand as enemies?
if you were me,
we’d clearly see
the roots of every
selfish deed.

I can feel the weight that is contained within your bones
all packaged up and then delivered right into my home;
a heaviness that carries with you even when you go.
i feel it in my chest where i once thought there'd be a hole.

and i will carry with me all the weight that you have left
for it will be an anchor to the flight within my chest
and it will be the difference between us and all the rest;
when we can bear between us that which weights upon
our best contest.

there's anchors behind every sigh
to hold these bones in place,
and two black holes behind my eyes
that catch all spectral waves.
by faintest glare of candlelight,
I see into the soul;
the concentrated substance,
hidden deep within the folds.

time and space cannot exist,
I've rattled loose the cage.
forged in fire of molten mind
ive broken links within the chain.
tearing open doorways
to objectify my fate;
tethered bindings frayed to string,
still heaving dead hearts weight.

knots have tied my heart to yours;
keep true that steady beat.
percussive steps of progress
to invent a new machine
our blood is but the oil
to turn the gears within our chest
turn back the dial, 
expose the key,
and love congeal the rest

morning, evening, noon and night
i want you always in my light,
always you are in my sight,
always right
here

sunday monday, through the week
i need you next to me to sleep.
because of all the dreams we keep,
its easy to breathe
here

i'd wait forever for your kiss
for an embrace that curiously fits,
i never thought it'd be like this,
i need your lips
here.

you are sunlight through the clouds,
the rays envelop, the light unbounds
and they sink into my skin and chest
they come to rest
here.

october is over,
and our hearts are tied like knots.
into each others beats we fall,
oh how easily we can get lost.
a new rhythm to march to,
gives us step’s we’re unsure how to take
but each footprint we leave,
is evidence to believe
not one step has been taken in vain.

                                                          ­            october is over
                                                            ­          and my hands have let go of their fists.
                                                          ­            no longer clenching tight to anchors,
                                                        ­              so the weight can find its exit.
                                                           ­           as a new ray permeates
                                                                ­      i’ve stopped the shadows clever games
                                                           ­           and dropped the baggage of distain,
                                                        ­              becoming your light once again.

october is over
and you don’t even know the truth
how i have held your supple heart,
tucked away and hidden from you.
some day you will discover all,
if, that is, i do reveal.
you’re meant for me, there is no other
& our osmosis will slowly congeal.

come and find me,
wayfaring soul
chase the heat of my smoldering coal.
the embers of an eternal fire
spread wild as dogs, mad with desire
and i will walk upon a sea
the tides forever carry me
as flames gently lick at my feet;
i will not bleed, my heart will never cease.

the dream from which all life is taught
the realm from which all love is sought
i walk that line, the rope is taut.

there are beings in the wind
they whisper to me to pretend that i am one of them
a fluent river in my head,
a flowing coordinated thoroughfare of dead
these spirits cary me away
carry me to the grave
to awaken them.

and so they sing with me,
they breathe with me,
they live with me.
inside of me there is a seed;
the roots of every tree
intertwining with my dreams.
shaping reality
i am the awakening.

they live in my breath
they allow me to see
the realm of passing death
softly brushing the reeds.
finally free
eternally

i wanna know the feeling of your hand inside of mine
i wanna whisper in your ear, send cold shivers down your spine.
and when i lay beside you, put my hands right on your thighs
and tickle you until you can’t breath, so you punch me in the eye.
i dont wanna think anymore, it’s just a waste of time
because theres nothing there but you inside my lonely mind.

i wanna take a train with you and ride into the night
and when morning comes, and we’re outside just standing in the light,
you’ll dig your head into my shoulder, as the sun will shine so bright
and i’ll tell you, dear, don’t worry, everything will be alright.

i wanna step into a balloon with you and start to fly
and we’ll float across the vastness of the open morning sky.
dont bother looking at your watch, we’ll live outside of time
and towards the moon, we’ll get there soon,
if not, at least we tried.

i wanna melt into your ears, and get inside your brain.
i wanna feel your tongue reach out and try to catch the rain.
i want to shield your heart from anything that causes pain.
i wanna scream and shout with you as we both go insane.

i wanna scream to all the world how cool i think you are.
that everything i’ve done has been in search of you this far.
i wanna crown you queen and take you up into the stars
ill come to you and take you there no matter where you are.

ive taken every measure just to show you the way inside,
so come and make even more of a mess of my silly childish mind.
i know its strange as strange can be and that this might not be the time,
but im behind your eyelids girl,
so come and get behind mine.

by the gleam of idols,
governed,
minds’ defied;
no sanctuary
untouched
by their guise

disguising love as god;
a masquerading truth,
entailed with
the cycle
of the moon.

around and around
the shepherds lead
lost souls,
hung on hooks
by fishers of men

as the weary morning lifts her head
her sleepy ***** wakes;
and dreamy eyes will wonder on,
apart from memories she's made.
engulfed by newly realized dreams,
her mind will not capitulate.
in something now she hides her key,
no lock could ever make her stay

with tinfoil teeth and steel wool hair
silver feet and iron stare
the coldest one, the coldest one here
conducting light from the horizon into my bed.
i need the sun to feed my head.

but you know me so well for
bolting shut that iron door.
i never leave it exposed,
my mechanical heartbeat
nobody has to know.

my metallic heart is the satellite
my metallic heart
reflecting the dimmest of lights.

there's grace in all humanity, but
like a dog you've lost everyones faith,
by the pain of self pity came outward disgrace,
while you become time's eternal slave.

for now heads above water,
but there's lead in your shoes,
as youre always observing the lines.
drawn out step by step
in the sand where once slept
a great ego, kept fed by your pride.

now you're patiently waiting for them to be crossed,
like a snake youve coiled yourself to spring
but your bite will not spite anyone but yourself,
as the poison's already in your veins.

i’ve waited my whole life for things to get better.
but they never did.

no love i could have ever kept,
no friends whose sides i’ve never left,
no voice pale enough to calm unrest,
no hand to grip my chest and show me how to live.
no smile to greet me openly.
no weight to give me gravity.
no pleasant reassurance,
only ruthless self endurance.

so i’m done waiting, i’ll do this myself.
pride may cause the fall, but i don’t need any of your help.
i’ll watch the stars, and hold their hand,
keep my head towards the sun and trust nothing else.
& i’ll slowly let go of my demands
and let my thoughts accept themselves,
because there is nothing more fulfilling.

you know that simply breathing isn’t living,
that the days can’t be contained by time.
existence is more than a heartbeat,
and whatever you’re looking for, you’ll never find.
so don’t cry to me with broken hearts, you don’t need it anyway.
i cant hear you down below me
so come up here and bury the sky.
i’m not afraid to leave my body to the worms,
but death will come to me on my own terms.

sometimes i stare at the stars and ask myself
if anyone is even listening.

with this self-haunting breath
I've painted walls with all my words
ive filled your ears with all my fears,
excuses you've already heard.
Ive strewn my pain across what's left
of what I destroyed all my own 
for sake of coloring the walls 
i see as monochrome and cold.

I couldn't hold it all inside
boxed in with every little lie
and now I'm slowly pushing out
all that I once said i despise.
look at me, look in my eyes
convince me I am still alive
I've made this hell out of the things
that ive held from you my whole life.

I sink too deeply
into the reflections of my being
and in this pithy mirror I see
all that has become me.

tracing the fibers in reverse
every memory dispersed
churning out the eldest curse
loosely piled unspoken words

thoughts become, ubiquitously
a visual soliloquy
entwined with all the subtle dreams
that shape present realities
entrancing eyes toward morphing scenes
the air has now become a sea
of every possibility
that ever could have been

and I swim so gracefully
in the ocean of could-be's
holding onto this pristine
moment ever so closely
close enough that 
I can see
clearly

the thickest breaths of smog for me
in endless search for purity
approximate serenity,
a purge from which i cant escape.
my bones do ache
and muscles tear;
the trembling quake
of the heart i bare.

i pray for oxygen
to clear the dust from winded lungs
to cleanse my chest in sacred tongues,
a heart that rings with ancient song.
i pray for us again
to clear the fires from our hearts
to cleanse my motives from the start.
a moment’s calculation off
resets the forward destination
-infinitely

its so humbling,
through the broken glass i see
the endless possibilities
of all that could have been
mad to live
scared to love

I'm so alive.

what spawn of madness lies behind the crooked lens
chains tied to the entropy of ends
chaos bound to nothing but ourselves;
now unfolding fate that we’ve propelled.
somehow now, beyond the folds
withholding beyond reach;
the light of every star unknown
will rapture; be unleashed.
so I may bend and break the lines
of all the rules they teach
i’ve made my own,
this world is mine,
no longer shall I sleep.

i am the beginning and the ending,
the king and the peasant,
the victor and the failure,
the restless and the relieved.
i am the liar and the deceiver,
i am the prophet and the believer,
i am the proud and yet the humble,
i am the lion and the lamb.

of me, this is reality
of me, this is the truth.
i am all that shall never be,
of me, I hang this noose.

i am the religion and the believer.
i am the forgotten and the retrieved.
i am the rotten and the beautiful.
i am all that myself has conceived.

i am the only thing controlling this,
i am the blessing, wrapped in loneliness,
i am the center and the circumference.
i am the only book on the shelf;
nothing can get to me if not through myself.

she loves me and my broken heart,
the tattered mess I am,
and she deserves much more
than I can give to her.

maybe it's some kind of game she plays
with placing back the shard remains
of every shattered soul she sees,
and until now she hasn't found
but one soul battered and torn as me.

it's like she's made of flower pedals, 
always coming to full bloom;
and when I hold her in my arms she moves
the monolithic structures inside me;
as if it was a breeze, just placing them aside so I can actually walk free.

or more-so, she could get to me,
it seems. i've
been out of breath for longer than I can remember
but she'll give me hers forever.
so I've got more than I'll ever need.

the way you love me is softer than the pillow beneath me,
as I lay and dream of a place we can
sink into acmatic scenes
of harmony.
yet still, there is intensity
that permeates internally.

I once believed I was incapable
to hold such love inside.
but this feeling so benign
has left that empty shell behind.

every day our fates are moved
by all the doctrines  we've made true.
and slowly ill invite the warmth,
hot as the sun, ill melt with you.

oh woe be to my heart,
that it begs for the sustenance of love
but is satisfied only by my own mind.

and woe be to my mind,
which thinks only to love itself
and to satisfy its own body.

and woe be to this body,
as it consumes and destroys
the very things that keep it alive.

woe be to these dreams
to intertwine with the vacuum of nothingness that is everything.

to be nothing, oh to be nothing.
woe be to me.
oh, woe be to us all.

I'll play your ribs like a piano
hold you closer than the fibers of my own shirt, I see now how
over your chest it's draped
just like a cloth holding back the violent flames that spring out from beneath,
I can feel it in my feet,
the burning coals upon my toes
as I walk the streets of your heart,
paved with all the lovely stones you've tossed around and stepped upon.
not to mention
the brokenness you've tread from filling everyone's shoes,
even mine as I traverse you in your sleep, thinking of you as I
continue to hold back my view
of my own past,
hung from my back,
I've got a lot to learn
but I know it's always just for you.
it's always just for you.

you've made a home inside this hollow heart of mine,
down to my bones you've made a nest to come and live.
and I can't thank you enough for making me whole again.