with tinfoil teeth and steel wool hair
silver feet and iron stare
the coldest one, the coldest one here
conducting light from the horizon into my bed.
i need the sun to feed my head.

but you know me so well for
bolting shut that iron door.
i never leave it exposed,
my mechanical heartbeat
nobody has to know.

my metallic heart is the satellite
my metallic heart
reflecting the dimmest of lights.

carry me through lands of dreams
sleepy shamans oaths perceived
the new humans rewrite their creed
to reconstruct the codes beneath.
as sands of time brush through my lungs,
beneath where silver moons once hung,
the catalyst for earths progressions,
tantric winds of gods procession
are pulled to fuel the fires in our chest.
to fuel the fires in us.

ride the colors of the wind, my friend;
dance with death until your end.
the serpentine son rises to speak eternal truths
and soon his weary eyes will rest upon you.

the deepest shades of blue green hue
from the swoon of palaces
dreamt of once, so long ago
where trees from ancient soils will grow
and we, collect their morning dew.

breathe the leaves;
harmony with trees
to clear the dust from weary lungs
and plant the ancient seeds.
we cleanse our chest in sacred tongues,
as wood can never bleed;
paint the skys with all our eyes
and let our spirits scurry free.

our bones do ache
and fingers shake,
as we watch death die
where our peace is made

crescendos of light will lead us through the night
astral wings stir winds of flight
amidst the vast celestial light
we own the sky; we run the night.
and with god, we share our sight.

with god we share our sight.

i am the beginning and the ending,
the king and the peasant,
the victor and the failure,
the restless and the relieved.
i am the liar and the deceiver,
i am the prophet and the believer,
i am the proud and yet the humble,
i am the lion and the lamb.

of me, this is reality
of me, this is the truth.
i am all that shall never be,
of me, I hang this noose.

i am the religion and the believer.
i am the forgotten and the retrieved.
i am the rotten and the beautiful.
i am all that myself has conceived.

i am the only thing controlling this,
i am the blessing, wrapped in loneliness,
i am the center and the circumference.
i am the only book on the shelf;
nothing can get to me if not through myself.

i’ve waited my whole life for things to get better.
but they never did.

no love i could have ever kept,
no friends whose sides i’ve never left,
no voice pale enough to calm unrest,
no hand to grip my chest and show me how to live.
no smile to greet me openly.
no weight to give me gravity.
no pleasant reassurance,
only ruthless self endurance.

so i’m done waiting, i’ll do this myself.
pride may cause the fall, but i don’t need any of your help.
i’ll watch the stars, and hold their hand,
keep my head towards the sun and trust nothing else.
& i’ll slowly let go of my demands
and let my thoughts accept themselves,
because there is nothing more fulfilling.

you know that simply breathing isn’t living,
that the days can’t be contained by time.
existence is more than a heartbeat,
and whatever you’re looking for, you’ll never find.
so don’t cry to me with broken hearts, you don’t need it anyway.
i cant hear you down below me
so come up here and bury the sky.
i’m not afraid to leave my body to the worms,
but death will come to me on my own terms.

sometimes i stare at the stars and ask myself
if anyone is even listening.

i wanna know the feeling of your hand inside of mine
i wanna whisper in your ear, send cold shivers down your spine.
and when i lay beside you, put my hands right on your thighs
and tickle you until you can’t breath, so you punch me in the eye.
i dont wanna think anymore, it’s just a waste of time
because theres nothing there but you inside my lonely mind.

i wanna take a train with you and ride into the night
and when morning comes, and we’re outside just standing in the light,
you’ll dig your head into my shoulder, as the sun will shine so bright
and i’ll tell you, dear, don’t worry, everything will be alright.

i wanna step into a balloon with you and start to fly
and we’ll float across the vastness of the open morning sky.
dont bother looking at your watch, we’ll live outside of time
and towards the moon, we’ll get there soon,
if not, at least we tried.

i wanna melt into your ears, and get inside your brain.
i wanna feel your tongue reach out and try to catch the rain.
i want to shield your heart from anything that causes pain.
i wanna scream and shout with you as we both go insane.

i wanna scream to all the world how cool i think you are.
that everything i’ve done has been in search of you this far.
i wanna crown you queen and take you up into the stars
ill come to you and take you there no matter where you are.

ive taken every measure just to show you the way inside,
so come and make even more of a mess of my silly childish mind.
i know its strange as strange can be and that this might not be the time,
but im behind your eyelids girl,
so come and get behind mine.

im sorry darling, it’s time to go.
i’ve packed my things for heading home
i’ve left the water atop the stove
to boil until i’m back.
so watch it very carefully
as all of my insecurities
are bubbling ferociously
in attempt to gain the integrity they lack.
i hope that when i do return
you haven’t smashed my precious urn
for ashes are ashes, already burned
but still, they’ve been much more than that

before.