Tell me one thing; why?
Why did you take him from me?
Why didn't you let
Me say goodbye?

I've sat up crying all day,
Trying to put the pieces
Back together.
I still can't think straight,

I still can't remember
My purpose.
Why did you take him
From me forever?

I know he's not
Suffering anymore,
And he has no more pain,
But I wasn't ready to let him go.

I wasn't ready to drown
In my own tears.
I just want one last hello.
I want to see his smile

One last time,
Before I get carried away.
I want to hear his laugh,
Feel his hugs,

Tell him everything I
Have to say.
I want my Grandpa back.
Why did you take him from me?

My mind is only slowly
Working on half track.
I am at a loss for words,
And it feels like he's

Still here with me.
I can't believe he's gone.
I love you Grandpa,
You will be missed.

Your suffering soul is free.

Robert Leonard Smith
December 29, 1934-January 21, 2011
Gone, but never forgotten.
I love and miss you Grandpa.<33

The canvas of my memories,
Destroyed by my tears,
Was the last remaining torture tool
Of my roughly ravaged years.

I've been given a second chance.
Another shot at remourse.
A chance to get my life
Set on a tolerable course.

With a new pure white canvas,
Unscathed by my past,
I can go on living without
Regrets that will last.

The memories of my pain are long
Since behind me.
I have a whole new world
I have the chance to see.

Seeing through these untainted eyes,
I can see through everyone's hateful lies.

She lifts her head to the
Darkening sky, as her
Beautiful eyes begin to cry.
The gentle rain caresses

Her face, while her broken
Heart beats at an unsteady pace.
She waits for the healing of her pain to
Begin, as she listens to the whispering

Of the gentle blowing Wind.
All of her sadness is too much to bare,
As she sends her desperate prayers
Into the lingering air.

Her heart is truly shattered,
But no one can see,
As she waits beneath the weeping willow tree.

As I sit here
With these tears
Of regret pouring
Down my hot cheeks,

You tell me everything
Will be okay,
Because you still love me.
But you don't

Understand that
Nothing is okay with me now,
Nothing.
I can't eat, I can't sleep,

I can't think.
My life is completely
Torn to shreds without you.
I have nothing left to live for,

I have nothing left to lose.
I just lost my everything,
So what's the point in trying?
There will already

Be a bullet through
My head when you answer
That question.

My hold on life is begining to seethe.
These walls are caving in,
I can't breathe.
The memories of the things I've seen

Echo the pain of the record
Of my existence being whipped clean.
Another day in this room
Cluttered with unhappy souls.

Another night steps in,
Just as quickly as it goes.
These chilling thoughts
Take over my every cell.

My body is shutting down as
My control begins to rebel.
With my heart beating way
Faster than it should,

I realize this is for my own good.
No one in this awful world will
Even become distraught.
So I let myself fall to the

Enveloping darkness,
Without a second thought.

Nightmares make the person.
I'm falling apart.
I can't take this pain.
Burn what's left of my bleeding heart.

My life has no purpose.
Words can't explain this agony I feel.
My head is spinning.
This can't be real.

I no longer have the strength to stand,
The strength to run.
This game is over.
I'm coming undone.

This is ridiculous.
What is his punishment
For this inhumanity?!
It is me who has been punished.

With the crushing of what was left of my sanity.

The feel of your touch.
The taste of your kiss.
The reassurance of knowing
This irreplaceable bliss.

I can still feel the warmth
Of your comforting embrace.
I can still hear the words
You whispered that made my heart race.

Your lingering escence is
All that remains,
But that doesn't stop the
Blood from rushing through my veins.

Your beautiful eyes take
My breath away,
Along with those three words
I've always wanted to say.

I miss the feel of your hand in mine.
I miss the way our fingers intertwine.
I love how you are always there,
I love how you say you will always care.

I love the way you can always sense something's wrong,
I love how you always keep me strong.
No matter how long we may be together,
I know you will never see,

How much you truly mean to me.

No one took the
Time to listen
No one took the
Time to care

No one tried to help
Me through my dark
Time of despair.
All those lies that

Made up my million
Tortured screams,
All those nights
I sat and prayed, to be saved,

That those words
You said were
Just bad dreams.
The tears and the

Blood began to mix and blend.
I was so convinced that
This agony would never end.

It follows you everywhere,
From place to place.
It reminds you of who you are.
The you you can't erase.

Its the thing that lurks in the
Dark silhouette, the thing you fear most.
Its the thing you hate to look at,
The thing you're afraid to keep close.

Its the thing lurking behind every
Closed door, the thing hidden
Beneath every unturned rock.
Its the thing you you push away,

The thing you try and block.
It's followed you over every
Life-changing year,
Its always mocked your every

Move, examined every fear.
Thst something is you,
Always there.
Hiding from every pain you go through.

Always there,
Just ready to blend.
Take a second look.
Consider it a shadowing friend.

Countless lies fill my manipulated mind.
It keeps spinning, and spinning, and spinning.
Like a carosel never wanting to stop.
So many of your lies are left undefined.

Your eyes pierce my heart with every glance I get.
Nothing but regret shines in those eyes as I gaze at my reflection.
I can see the remorse you pray for.
I can see your ignorance you are aware of, but refuse to admit.

I can see that you miss what we had.
I can see that you wish I was yours.
I can see that you want me back.
I can see that my being happy with someone else drives you mad.

Oh charming dreamtaker, don't avert your eyes. 
I'm so in love with someone that is not you.
Look at me now heartbreaker.
I can live without your lies.

Begging for forgivness
Under the influence of my mistakes.
One simple word is all that it takes.
Tonight is my last stand,

I will reach to my temptation's hand.
The taunting voices cause my
Tears to flood,
Along with the constant shedding of my ****** blood.

Everyone can see what I have become.
That fact doesn't fase me,
Because my emotions are numb.
No one cared enough to try and

Change my views.
I turned on them.
There was nothing else
I could choose.

I can hear the things they say
As they whisper about what
I used to be.
Not even the man I love can set me free,

From the monster that is me.

With the knife pressed tightly
To the skin protecting my heart,
Who knew this love would
Tear me apart?

Little by little,
Piece by piece,
My broke heart's rythm
Begins to decrease.

Even in death,
My broken spirit
Sings for you.
I loved your being,

If you only knew.
My shattered escense
Is all that remains
Of an incomplete girl

Once bound by ****** chains.
The ice in my veins
Spreads throughout my
Lifeless body like a lethal disease.

You don't realize that the
Pain I endured was never at ease.
Every night I sat and wondered,
"What did I do to deserve this conviction?"

But I still ran to you like you
Were my addiction.
My reason to exist.
Your sweet nature was too hard to resist.

Now I watch you weep as they
Lay me to rest.
This was your fault,
Remember, you're the one to blame for this knife in my chest.

She strokes the beautiful piano keys,
Her music speaks to me.
Her enchanting melody,
So soft and long,

Mingles with the sadness
In her unique song.
The more I listen,
The more the meanings spread,

As her gentle notes dance in my head.
Her delicate hair tousles in the breeze,
As one single tear strokes the piano keys.
Her heart is so broken,

This I can see,
As her beautiful music speaks to me.

Life?

A prison full of secrets and
Lies.

Fear of the glance from judgemental
Eyes.

Locked behind the walls of your
Mind.

Not looking back on
Everything You Left Behind.

I still continue searching
For you with tears in my eyes
And trembling hands.
Wandering around in a dream

Like state.
Confused about why you
Will never understand.
I'm afraid these burning

Words I have practiced in
My head may never pass
From my lips to yours.
I have never met you,

And I probably never will.
I have unanswered questions
Running through my mind.
Why didn't you take the position

So many others would be
Begging to fill?
Why weren't you there for me?
Why did you go?

Why weren't you there to kiss
Every scrapped knee?
Answer me this,
Why was I left wondering,

Why didn't I have a daddy to
Tuck me in at night?
Why was I left wondering
Where my daddy was?

Why was I left wondering
Why my daddy wasn't there to
Help me fly my first kite?
I don't know why you left,

And I don't know why you
Weren't there to watch me grow,
But this one question
Eats away at my heart:

Daddy why did you go?

It will seem as though life
Is not liveable without me
As the years pass,
But remember I am there with you.

I am the wind grazing
Every blade of grass.
I will take your hand
And guide you through

The moments of doubt and pain.
I will be the warm breeze
Caressing your cheek,
Encouraging you to smile through the rain.

When you miss me most,
And I will not be there to
Watch the changing seasons,
Bring back all of
The treasured memories,

For your tears are falling
For all the wring reasons.
God took my hand
And set me free,

Do not shed one more tear,
The angels have wrapped
Their wings around me.
When you feel as though

Your laughs have formed
Into teardrops,
And your smiles have
Faded away,

I am always with you.
In your heart I will forever stay.

Gentle waves caressing the shore,
Soft calls from the birds.
The smell of salt overwhelming me,
As little fish explore the ocean floor.

So many different versions of
Beauty surround me.
Young children playing,
Colorful flowers,
 
The buzzing of an adventerous bee.
You see, 
There is more to this
Than meets the eye.

To some beauty is the appearance,
And to others it's the simple
Way a loved one says goodbye.
Beauty can come to you as

You become older,
As well as when you are young.
No one can judge you for your
Interpretation of beauty,

Because beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder.

I clutch my chest as the blood
Flows from my open veins.
Nothing can release me from these
Unbreakable chains.

I glance down to the growing pool
Of scarlet around my feet,
I should have known we could never
Make ends meet.

The gruesome memories haunt
My every thought,
Along with the unsettled wars
I constantly fought.

There was no excitement, no glory.
My life is coming to an end
As I tell you my story.
I drop to my knees in the object that

Rought me life,
And remember the need to
End it with that taunting knife.
I scream out in pleasure at the thought

Of my pain ending here,
The sweetness of death is all so clear.
I fall forward to my awaiting death,
No one will hear my last dieing breath.

I learn a final lesson before
The blackness engulfs my soul,
No one really knows when they will become whole.

Watching the desperate girl,
Soon to be dead,
As she raises that nine
Milimeter to her pounding head.

Her beautiful face, so
Full of tears, now
Lets loose her unbelievable fears.
She's experienced her

Most horrible nightmares,
Because she thinks that nobody cares.
Looking to the sky, now,
For the answers she's never known,

Feeling guilty of the
Hurt she's never shown.
Her finger twitches for the trigger,
Only seconds remaining,

Until she will let out all the
Frustration she's been containing.
The gun goes off with a deafening roar,
And now everyone will know why the desperate girl is no more.

I need a hero to make me sane.
All these years I've suffered in vain.
The constant hate and
The constant fear

Is enough to make this
Destroyed girl shed a crimson tear.
Like the meaning
Behind the beautiful rose,

Who am I?
No one knows.
I show unreal emotions.
I'm fake.

The me you can't see
Is too much to take.
My soul is gone.
I'm the walking dead.

I can't tell you how much I've bled.
My life is taken,
I have nothing to live for.
The darkness has won my constant war.

I never listen to what
Other people say, 
I dont have the
Patience to wait.

I just drag myself through
Every passing minute,
Every passing day.
My mind won't stop

Spinning and I'm full
Of repressed doubt.
How can someone do
Something so heart shattering? 

I'm breaking apart
From the inside out.
Broken glass lies beneath
Me as I fall to my knees.

A shard in my ****** hand,
Tears blurring my vision,
Thinking of what he
Wanted me to be.

Screaming my pain to everyone,
Squeezing the glass in my palm,
Waiting for my sanity to come.
Thrusting the broken

Glass to my chest,
Puncturing my heart,
Saving myself
From all the rest.

Spilling blood surrounding me,
A slowing heartbeat,
This is the end of my bottomless agony.

As the disease spreads through him, slowly,
He knows he won't go down without a fight.
He looks forward to the future,
Dreaming of seeing things he's never had the chance to see.

Hoping, waiting, wondering if he will be alright.
He is left wondering if this christmas will be his last.
He is left wondering if he will live to be one year older.
He is left to get lost in his memories of the past.

He fights the disease spreading 
Through him with everything he has to give.
He makes the best of what he has.
He thinks of all the events he wishes to relive.

He knows this is going to **** him,
He just prays he lives long enough
To watch his granddaughter grow.
He wishes to see her persue her wildest dreams.

God knows, that until that happens,
He's not letting go.
It's been six months and 
He still fights through the only thing

Strong enough to take him away.
He holds his head high, and keeps holding on.
He knows who will be waiting for
Him on Judgement Day.

I wish he wasn't going through so much pain.
I wish God would give him the strength to push through and heal.
I wish he didn't have this disease.
I wish his pain and suffering wasn't real.

Locked behind these forever
Closed doors.
I watch you take my
Freedom, making it yours.

I can hear you twist my
Words and become a truth ******.
You think you've got
What it takes to make me surrender?

I am the way I am because
Of your sick little games.
Study these walls,
Can you read these names?!

The people you've taunted
And the people you've
Chased away are hidden under
The floor boards where

You can make them stay.
Their bodies rot, their bodies decay,
And yet they stay there,
Because they didn't obey.

They didn't bow to your
Every need,
So you made them suffer
Under your vile greed.

This is the last time
You will ever be able
To commence your
Disgusting definition of fun.

I grab the gun and
Aim for your head,
Your loathsome
Ways are done.

There is so much to see
Beyond these walls you've built.
There is so much you do not know.
While you sit behind closed doors,

There is innocent blood being spilt.
Yet here you sit,
At your window sill
Watching the changing seasons.

Your heart aches to see
The outside world.
Your tears fall for all
The wrong reasons.

The world you seal yourself
From is filled with
Nothing but war.
All our hope seizes to exist.

All our will drops to the floor.
That one second of peace,
Where it feels like the
Whole world is standing still.

The silence of the crime
And the corruption. Peace.
It is in that spilt second,
The earth is bowing to

God's every will.
No matter how many
Times you long to escape
Your hidden containment,

Don't.
For all of your hopes
And dreams will fade
Away with time.

And the happiness
Only lasts for the moment.

Everything has stopped.
The coursing of blood through my veins.
The relentless calm.
My rythmic breathing is all that remains.

I don't dare open my eyes.
I'm afraid I might scream.
This fire is too much to contain.
The anguish is too extreme.

All I can think is, when will it end?
My reward awaits.
The noise surrounding my still body
I can now comprehend.

The fire subsides.
Retreating to my chest.
The agony in the center of my body increases.
All pain entering the space beneath my left breast.

My heart and the fire battle for control.
I can't think, the pain is unbearable.
The fire will decide the fate of my soul.
My heart beats wildly.

Trying to fight off the fire.
My heart is failing horribly
As I wait for my human life to expire.
One last exploding beat and the pain is gone.

My eyes slowing open.
The morning sun just taking dawn.
I try to think back to before the fire.
My memories, a haze.

I cannot remember what occured.
Even my remaining final days.
This new begining will have so many benefits.
But, I cannot face the consiquences of the life I've left behind.

The memories of that past life
Remain undefined.
My senses were sharpened.
The whole process was so strange.

I think of my new abilities.
I can't judge the rewards of the change.

Please take my pain away.
I can't find a way out.
I can't find a way to live
With all this crushing doubt.

I've been good at shielding
This pain I hide,
But now the veil is coming off
And you will see how many tears I've cried.

My eyes are bruised with black and blue.
They are caused by all the
Times I've tried
To get through to you.

I've tried to make you see
That my heart isn't just a toy.
I've tried to make you see
That I'm human, not something you can destroy.

This is something
That no one can fix.
This is what I have become,
Out of you're constant mind tricks.

You made me believe
That someone actually
Wanted me,
But now I just lay here

In my broken heart's debris.

My body is tied under
These ****** ropes.
I can almost here the
Desperate pleas of

Their deceased
Hopes.
A man has entered.
Completely hidden

Beneath the silhouette
Of the darkened room.
Will this place become my tomb?
The blood-soaked tools

Of torture rest on the table
Stained with red.
The po0ls of sickening madness
Lay beneath my feet,

And yet they continue
To spread.
The mixing of a million
Tortured screams

Fill my head.
The evidence lays beneath
Me, this is the blood
His victims shed.

This game is sick.
I can barely breathe
As my hold on control
Slowly begins to seethe.

The man takes a step closer to me,
His figure an apparition.
What would you do if
You were in my position?

A gleam of something shining
Glints in his right hand.
What is that?
This adrenaline is something

I can no longer stand.
As a scarlet-dyed knife
Dances in front of my face.
He whispers something

That causes my hope to erase.
"I will watch your disgusting body rot!
That blood-stained place behind this torture chamber
Will be our little secret spot. I promise."

The knife raises to my throat,
And in one quick movement,
My death is what will promote.
My name is now etched into

The dark room's walls,
Now his next target
Will hear my blood-curdling calls.

This is a tragic ending to a story
Full of hammering hearts
And deafening screams.
This is a tragic ending

To all my hopes and dreams.

I can't believe you're in love with me.
I'm silly, I'm loud,
And my mind is open and free.
I get mean, I get paranoid,

And I get crazy in between.
I walk around stores
And speak in demonic voices,
I do weird but fun stuff

With my sisters,
And I still make bad choices.
I slip up and say
Things that weren't meant to be said,

I make terrible decisions,
And I've done things that I dread.
But, hey, I'm human and that's I want to be.
But I still can't believe you're in love with me.

Reaching one gentle hand
Into the comforting night air.
You'll never guess what's
Waiting there.

A tender kiss from the
Comforting rain,
Always erases the worst
Of my pain.

I step out into the
Warm summer breeze,
When the lightening
Brightens the darkness around me,

I freeze.
I look to the beautiful
Night sky,
As tears of peace escape

My weeping eyes.
The rain falls as though
It wants to wash my
Sadness away,

The smooth water caresses
My face without dismay.
My lips break out
Into a sudden smile,

Because feeling this
Sweet rain is all worthwhile.

These phantoms, these ghosts,
That mirror my every move.
These irreplaceable flaws
That I cannot remove.

Why do they follow me with
Every crushing story?
They're taking my life
And all of its new-found glory.

Why do they taunt me with
Their sickening games?
Why do they constantly throw
Me to the red-hot flames?

Why did they mark me with
These everlasting scars?
Why do they haunt me
With these memories that will always be ours?

What is the penalty for
Trying to make this right?
What is the penalty for
Beating the demons I constantly fight?

What if these ghosts make this poem be my last?
After all, they are the Ghosts Of My Past.

Loving You

I want to spend forever
Looking into your
Beautiful blue eyes.
Baby I want to spend

Forever wrapped in
Your lovely disguise.
Without a care in the
World I will sit here

And call you mine.
I will get those shivers
You send running up
And down my spine.

I want to keep you and
Only you for as
Long as I possibly can.
It's been you and

Only you since this
Love song began.
Without you,
I don't think my life

Would be quite so complete.
Without you, I don't
Know where I would be,
You are my heartbeat.

I hope you believe
Me when I tell you I love you,
Because this madness is
Hard to fight through.

When I'm by your side
All of my worries no longer exist,
When you pull me close for
One more passionate kiss.

A touch, a kiss,
A whisper from the heart.
Never wanting to be
Only inches apart.

Intertwined fingers and
Countless shared glances
Its never too late to
Take risky chances.

Low tone speaking
And lightly kissed lips,
The feeling of his hands
Resting lovingly on my hips.

Tracing my fingers over
His slightly heated skin,
The control between us is
Wearing thin.

This isn't luck, its fate.
The emotions we share never come late.
There is only one way I know
That this love is real,

Nothing compares to the way he makes me feel.

A beautiful heart,
An incredible soul,
An imagination full of
Magic he can't control.

Eyes that can move mountains,
Passion that can drain seas,
An enchanting smile that
Makes my heart freeze.

He's a man full of love
And a man full of hate,
But when i'm around him
I can't concentrate.

My mind goes blank
And my chest starts to ache,
My throat gets all dry
And my knees start to shake.

This one man
Can make a hopeless woman
Feel, and realize that
Her unused emotions are
Actually real.

Forever closed eyes,
Reasoning dies.
Empty inside,
Nowhere to hide.

Lost in the loneliness of my mind,
Losing the sanity that binds.
Falling apart at the seems,
Can't escape these haunting dreams.

Oh why do I try?
No one can see these tears I cry.
Razor to wrist,
Replacing all I've missed.

Convicting those who did this to me,
Remembering what I used to be.
Holding on to life by a thin thread,
My horrid regrets repeating in my head.

The end is near,
My eyes fill with every lonesome tear.
My deep secret is the key,
This is what I need to set me free.

Silent tears escape my eyes.
Beneath my broken surface,
My shattered heart cries.
I've stayed so composed

And I"ve tried to stay so strong.
Everyone believes my act,
So I just played along.
The "happy" girl started to wither and die.

I lost the real me a long time ago,
But everyone wonders why.
I pray to God for my chance to repent.
There's only one way to release myself

From this crushing torment.
I break out into sobs,
Because no one will understand.
Review my past, examine my present,

I can't let this expand.
A tretcherous gunshot to my
Pain-staken head,
Leaves me facing down in a growing

Pool of my own scarlet red.
No more tears escape my lifeless eyes.
Look past my broken body,
My tortured soul finally dies.

Wasting away from this
World full of destroyed mistakes.
My heart is shattered beyond
Repair, my soul aches.

I can't take this crushing hate,
My pain makes them thrive.
These walls are closing in,
I won't survive.

Held under the total
Annihilation of my
Confidence, I can't
Find my voice.

The games they play
Leave me in constant
Destruction, I can't
Make a choice.

Speaking against them
Will result in unescapable
Wrath, they are the ones
Who will choose my path.

I will always be held
Beneath their twisted
Way of control, constantly
****** into their menacing black hole.

If I begged for forgivness on
All that I've sinned,
My life would be on the line.
I'd be throwing caution to the wind.

I can feel my heart beat in my ears.
I know he doesn't
Want to let her go,
So I just sit here,

Drowning in my own tears.
I think this pain is too
Much for me to take.
But I can't come to realize that

Loving him was a stupid mistake.

Taking in the peaceful
Enclosing darkness
Of midnight.
Forgetting the battles

I constantly fight.
gazing at the beautiful stars,
I look down to my ragged scars.
The markings on

My beautiful skin that will last forever,
How can I forgive
Myself for being so foolishly clever?
I don't know how I ever

Found this place, for
The true beauty is within the night's
Darkened embrace.
Comletely isolated from the chaos

Around me, this is where my
Soul can set free.
There is no sadness, anger, or pain
For I can free the emotions I always restrain.

There is no other unmatchable joy
Than being hidden from a
Hateful world that seeks
To destroy.

This is the only place I am ever at peace,
The only place my happiness
Can release.

The razor rests upon my wrists
Scarred with time
And the impossible mountains
I've tried to climb.

He will never know the secrets
Behind my pain
As the blood carresses my skin
Like scarlet rain.

No more suffering and no more tears.
No one will remember my lonely final years.
Locked behind my enclosing death,
I whisper those undeniable words as I take my last dying breath.

I love you.

Trying to push away
This feeling crawling beneath my skin,
Putting my head in my hands,
Always giving up, always giving in.

I guess this is what
It feels like to be hurt so badly
You just want to disappear.
I guess this is what

It feels like to be
Stabbed in the chest.
I guess this is what
It feels like to always have you near.

Everywhere I turn I see
Something that reminds me if you.
Everytime I round a corner
I see your face.

Everyday I suffer from wounds
That barely explain
What I'm going through.
You don't know what it's like

To suffer like me.
You don't know how much
Pain passes through my heart
In every degree.

We pass each other everyday
With my face cold as stone.
You grin like there was nothing
Between us.

I guess this is what it feels like to be alone.

Always there when I need a helping hand,
Always there when I can barely stand.
Always there when I need a shoulder to cry on,
Always there when my confidence is gone.

Never too late when I need advice,
Never too late to make me think twice.
Never too late to pick me up when I fall,
Never too late when I think I've lost it all.

All those fights and all those nights we've cried
Made me realize that you will always be by my side.
Through thick and thin,
You've taught me how to hold up my chin.

You've been there for me when I needed you most.
You've been there for me when I needed you close.
You're always there for me when my hold on control gets weak,
You're always there for me when I need a kiss on the cheek.

These past four years of you being my best friend
Were the best four years of my life that will never end.
They say that nothing in this world lasts forever,
But they odviously haven't seen us together.

The past four years were the best I could spend.
After this poem is officially finished,
Everyone will know,

You're My Best Friend 'Til The End<3

Would you chase me down
If I ran from your gentle eyes?
Would you keep your promise
Of never having to say our final goodbyes?

Would you hold me in your arms when
I need you most?
Would you be there for me when
I need you close?

Would you take my hand in yours
And tell me you love me?
Would you be there to slience my
Loving plea?

Would you help me every time
My control would stray?
Would you be by my side
Every step of the way?

Would you try your best
To ease my pain?
Would you be there to
Make me sane?

Would you still be there when I
Believe I am a lost cause?
Would you still love me for
All of my flaws?

Well,
Would You?

A barrel to the head,
I will soon paint the area around
Me that sickening red.
A deafening gunshot, caused by the untaken remorse.

My blood flooded around my
Lifeless body out of my depression's force.
I thought of the people I love and the
People who might miss me, but this was

The only way I could be saved,
The only way I could set my shattered soul free.
With a single note tightly clutched
In my cold, unmoving hand,

Everyone will know the future I had planned.
The life I wanted, how much I missed the past,
What dazed thoughts were my last.
The pain was too much to bare,

But no one took the time to care.
That's what killed me.
An innocent girl who yearned to be loved,
But her feelings and emotions were

Constantly shoved.
No one cared enough to look past
My protecting wall,
That's when it came crashing down and the tears started to fall.

Why do you constantly crush my
Heart like a meaningless toy?
Why do you play these games
With me?

Why do think my soul is
Something to destroy?
What did I do to deserve this pain?
What did I do to deserve these tears?

Look at me, they spill from my eyes
Like a bittersweet rain.
I guess my feelings mean nothing to you.
I guess I was just a pawn.

I guess you lied, when you said "I love you" was true.
You got what you wanted
And now you want more.
I don't think so.

I closed that beaten door.
You're already killing me with
Your twisted little games and your convincing lies.
You don't have me anymore.

I'm gone.
Too late for final goodbyes.

One love ends,
Another begins.
Begging to be forgiven
For all my sins.

One too many heartbreaks
To call my own,
Desparate for the love I've never known.
The more I think, the more

The pain starts,
As hate begins to rip at the seem
Of our molded hearts.
Time will erase my feelings

For him,
As one love ends and another begins.

This is my nightmare.
All I can see,
Is what will be the death of me.
My pain is what they desire.

Nothing compares to this hell I feel.
Every detail seems so real.
Fear chills down my stiff spine.
I can barely move, barely speak.

Shadows haunt every hill, every peak.
I can't escape this terror.
Every trace of light dies.
I can't seem to open my eyes.

It looks as though I will never leave.
My sense begins to wither and rebel.
Fear and hate control my every cell.

This poem was written
To show you how I feel.
This poem was written
To express the emotions I could no longer conceal.

I can't hold it back,
I just have to tell you.
But I have a feeling
That you already knew.

You're so easy to talk to
And so easy to care for.
I can't hold this
Back anymore.

You and me.
That's all I can think about.
I love you,
There's no doubt.

I could sit here for days
And list everything I love about you.
I could sit here and list
The dreams I have, too.

If it took me three weeks
To  love you this fast,
Then I can honestly say
That our love will last.

We have to be apart.
Don't take this the wrong way.
I'm doing this for my heart.
You came into my life and turned

My whole world upside down.
Because of you,
In my tears of despair I'll drown.
You stand by as my once bright

Life fades to a darkened black.
You stand there and watch my
Desparate thoughts and bad habits
Come back.

The place in your chest where your
Heart should be,
Is filled with cold hard stone.
I watched you turn and leave.

Showing me I'm alone.
I pray one day I'll wake up
And this will all be a bad dream,
Like I never met you,

Like the people I love
Didn't have to hear my anguished scream.
I'm so tired of being here.
Waiting, listening, for my shadow

To remind me of the mistakes I've made,
Whispering in my ear.
The pain in my soul is too much to ignore.
Take it.

Take it all,
I don't want this life anymore.

Why are my words never enough?
What do I have to do to
Prove myself to you!
You never loved me,

And you never will,
You only wanted my
Innocence until you had your fill!
You think you can play games

With me?!
Well you're seriously wrong!
Because of you,
I will always be strong!

I won't let you hurt people like you hurt me
And I'm **** glad your *** set me free!