Words, I find
are becoming harder and harder
to speak
amongst people
who walk around mindless as sheep

Wandering to the edges of the world and back
all while sitting completely still

All alone with the comfort of myself

Maybe I should buy some whiskey.

Strong winds today atop the meditation rock
As I see the ever expanding geometry of the world
My hands dance to the waves of euphoria that just keep building
My feet, intertwined with the grass and dirt that envelop them
Respond with quick movements and steady timing
Whenever, wherever, forever
The sun sinks it's beautiful face lower into the horizon
I wave goodbye as I embrace the cold breeze
Red, blue, yellow, green, purple even
strands and strings and waves of energy follow me and appear
everywhere i go
from the very second I put the paper in my mouth
to the very end of my life
The energy, the flow, is forever.
Until next time
-
Moonforest

Let's get high.
And have honest, heavy eyed conversations
Dipped in intricacy and laced with intimacy
Let's get high
And slip each other the occasional casual glances
Mixed with sly words and somber romances
Let's get high.
Listen to some tom waits
Drink like his piano
And run around this strange yet intriguing place
Let's get high.
Talk about insecurities and figure out
That our impurities make us who we are
Let's get high.
And realize that we wouldn't have moments like these, or each other
Any other way
Let's get high.
Take a break from everything that could have ever bothered us
Bury ourselves in blankets and each others' arms,
And remember what it's like to be human.

Calm your shaky, ink covered hands
Paint me a picture of somebody who is perfect in every way
As I allude on about their various quirks and features
You start to see that the picture you're painting is a self portrait
Mutter under your breath in disbelieve you continue on
Until you see the subtilties
that only a man who cared enough to notice could see
Now the only question is, am I so vain as to think
you could notice me as I notice you?
I guess it's a question that will have to be left unanswered
because whichever answer I get would knock me out
So hard and fast I wouldn't be able to tell which way is up or down
And as I stand outstretched and yelling into the wind
Where did I lose it?
Where did I go wrong?
You'll probably be in some far off country, or somewhere close to home
Living a life one could write a whole series of novels about
I'll be here
Right where I was
Until I turn to stone
And crumble under the ever eroding land
That is my love life

Rest assured I'll die knowing my demons
they don't like me very much
but they are old friends
So I might as well say hello and pour them a drink

Hearing about what I used to do, and what I could be doing starting to take it's toll.
Little things I could improve on
I don't want to here about it
I can't
I know I won't be able to compare to you
So I'll just do the exact opposite
I'll be that **** up
It's not at all that I'm trying to be
it's just...
I mean it's more or less that's how I feel when we converse
We have our times but I can't keep getting compared
to all these kids that seem like they'd be more suited for you
sorry I'm not the son you expected
sorry I'm not the son that could shoot straight, or play football
or go fishing,
Or all the things you clearly wanted me to do with my life
I'm sorry I couldn't live up to you
I guess there's really not much more to say than that

howl my name to this yellow witching hour moon
run with me through this enchanted snow ridden forest
we can run with the pack
and go off to explore the many wonders
of this enriched ******* white ground
bury a few bones, catch a deer or two, together.
Creatures of the wind
swift, like a spensarian sonnet
harsh, like the rough seas
cold, as my beating heart
beautiful, as the eyes that stare back into mine
with nothing but instinct and desire behind them

Take the stones that break your bones
And build a house that is a home
Etch your eyes into the mirrors
So you can see yourself clearer
Drag your hands across the walls
Walk your paramore through the halls
Walk up to the attic and rehash old memories
Of adolescence, music, and psychedelic drugs
Run through the forest of trees that surround your house
and bring you to your knees
Take the stones that break your bones
and build a house, that makes you feel at home

In the presence of giants, I puff out my chest and stand tall
It all depends on what you believe is true
When the doctors put on their crow masks
and tell you that you'll be dying soon
you'll feed the vultures
and stand on the shoulders
of giants big and small
you let the world fall
on a hinge we awake trembling over what we think we know is true
on a whim we take a ride to an irrelevant place to waste precious time
Death and Sin make an ever so adorable couple
until you learn about the family history
If it's all the same, I'll take a number
I'll let it stay a mystery

I walk, I stretch, I move hair out of my face
they all stare
I trip, I stutter, I say something earnest
they all laugh
I look, I spy, I watch
Enveloped they are with their own lives
the worst of it all is that
all these queer stares, the conceited laughter, the daunting suspicion
this throbbing anxiety making my hands shake, like a ****** apparition
Is all me
it's in my head
I wish I weren't so self conscious
I wish I had better control
I wish the poison completely calmed it
As to apprehend my torn up soul

So it goes...
So it goes...

Words do nothing but sink in
like skipping stones and cheap gin
The burn of your elixir as it goes down proud
making your mind so numb and your needs too loud
Hoping you won't offend the one you admire
you light the match and fuel the fire
It's all hazy twist and turn
some kind of crazy third degree burn
so if I am to lose what I hoped to
Surrender myself and go through
the stages of belligerent indiscretion
filled with mild pills and misdirection
tell my story, as I would tell it
like alice, the queen, and the white rabbit
nothing, oh nothing but what is true
turn back the times, I'm falling for you

Set me on fire like a wooden mirror
full fledged desire a night seen so clear
a moonlit night, but try as I might
a paramore, a beauty, a sultry sight
skeletal trees imposing upon our sleep
we're taken apart and thrown to the breeze.
can't you see? with the smoke in your lungs
and the fires burning us down

In the longing of a falling star
A cascade of near and far
these blackened lungs with a blackened heart
will soothe us all or tear us apart
Trying, but if I should fail
scratch me with your fingernails
leave me scars I can't erase
even if my mind's forgotten your face

bite deeply into my skin
give me just one more sin
kiss my lips until they're blue
perhaps i'm falling for you
light me up and burn me down
steal away my only crown
follow birds into the far
leave me with only these scars

I'll trace your body with my tongue
blow smoke in my blackened lungs
Make me feel I've been so numb
I'll make your heart beat like a drum
inhale me like your cigarettes
kiss me like i'm your last breath
dig your nails into my back,
grey burned lungs soon to collapse

Inhale me like your cigarettes
kiss me like I'm your last breath

Trace me with your fingertips
Write a story from my scars
And a novel from my eyes
You are a great writer after all

Tell me about your dreams
You said you wished they had more color
Black and White dreams still come true

I held your hair back when you reached your limits
You have my back when it's needed
We have both gone to the universe and back.
Brothers.

We met through a friend
We became best friends in a night
We've been through everything
Transcended all the *******
You have to leave the state soon
I'll visit you as soon as possible


You said you thought my name was Thomas
We had girlfriends that were best friends
How funny that both those ended exactly the same
We've made much music together, and one
blood promise


I met you on the way to smoke at a distant friend's house
We smoked cigarettes and discussed life
Then it changed to getting hammered and
making plans for the future
We can change the world

Drunk
Drunk
Drunk
Here we go again
The sweet burn as the poison slithers down your throat
like a snake slowly creeping up to it’s prey
I walked away this time
I didn’t go too far
Only some alcohol and some hydrocodone
Where will I go from here?
I’m heavy on my feet and quick in my head
All I want is sleep
I can’t have it
I always have to take it

I barely know you that well
But would you like to take some time away
Throw pennies down a well
And make wishes that we'd never tell?
When it comes to being confident
I'm lacking in the subject but it
Doesn't mean that I don't know how to love
If there's something beautiful in this rotten world it's a dove
Who flies through the day and the night
With wings ******* white
Trying to find the one to who will make him stay
And make a nest with eggs
Feed his children on the off days
So if it's something like that you're looking for
I'll have introduce you too the door
Only after we've had our fun
Because I really want to know you
But it's hard for me to show you
Everything that I'd want to give
It's not what I'd suggest but it's the way some like to live
So take your coat
and hang it up
Or throw down your purse and lay with me till the sun comes up
Either way it doesn't matter to me
It's just another thing to lose
Something I'd rather not choose
But it's something that people live for

Whatever happened to the christian girl
Who took a solemn pledge
To remain pure like silver
And to never go up against
The devil and his drones
To become a mindless clone
To the alcohol and green
She says she feels all in between
I think she left home way too soon
Like some modernized sixties cartoon
Well I know that a man ***** you
****** is a real shame
But that doesn't mean you can take good friends
And make them feel the same
Hate isn't something I'd wish upon another
So please just stay out of it
And avoid all the clutter

So drink all the wine in my simplistic home
Don't worry about the time we've got a loan
It is just another thing to lose
Don't think about tomorrow I'll take your shoes
I know I'll wake up the next morning
And know i'll never get to see those hazel browns again
Because you like to your eyes closed when you sin
It helps you not remember what you did
I'm not really one to talk
But I think we should take a walk
And get the help that we deserve
because even god can't help us when we refuse to learn
And you'll try to look both ways
Before crossing the busy street
At least that’s what it'll say
On your suicide note to me
I'll miss you very dearly
If only you could see clearly
And not through that red eyed whiskey glare
It's yet another thing I refuse to share

You know which way to go about it
You say that you can live without it
But when it comes to being a good son
You have eleven bottles down at a quarter to one
Now your beating your mother
And cursing the only other
Person that wants you to live
I really wish you had something more to give
Than a sly remark and a troubled slur
Like a baker who let his workplace burn
You'll get back everything you lost
You can't even get better
So just take up that sweater
And go sit in the backyard and slit your wrists
The police are knocking at your door they're coming in
Only three days in prison
And your back to the same old ****
I bet you had a life
That was relatively good
Although I know nothing about your wife
Everything seemed to be where it should
Can you count the fingers
On my left hand?
You just want shove it in my face
And kick my *** where I stand
Your sisters don't care
And your father is barely breathing on his bed
You niece is in denial
And your nephew wants you dead
Can I ask a question?
Have you learned your lesson?
You better hope to god you'll never hear this poem
Because let me tell you
I want you gone

The couple that's not a couple broke up last week
The girl was a bit troubled
And the boy just smokes his ****
While another girl doesn't eat
And another man can barely sleep
Because there is really too much on their minds
Like the french man and his muse
They are all compromised
And the kids that drop their acid
Before they're thirteen
And the parents who keep the knives at bay
Cry in disbelief
The girls who's actually eighteen
Is mentally ten
No one knows what’s happening with her mother
She might be dead
In a few months time
They won't know if she’s fine
The father takes his pleasure
In being philosophically confusing
And the son lies about his drug use
Its all a bit soothing
To think they all started out
In the same old place
Naked as a jaybird
With their mothers to thank
How they all have changed
Moderation is key
It really shouldn't be
Be I'll talk about me

I'm an eighteen year old ******
Just trying to find some love
Not someone to ****
Just to think fondly of
My uncle is a drunk
And my mother might die
My grandfather doesn't remember me
And my sister can't even try
To be a normal kid
Like her younger brother
While my father scolds me
About the **** like its another
Faithless crime
Like he did when he was a kid he
Sipped his wine
And now my fathers’ father
Can barely think
He just gargles down his mouthwash
And spits into the sink
His heads makes up theories
About the president
And we are all communists
Its real complicated
And here I am at two AM
Just trying to deal
With all of these thoughts
It really can’t be real
I think sometimes it's easier just not to feel
I've had a few girls I've thought fondly of
With each of them in different ways, I fell in love
One was a pure christian girl
Who left me for jesus
Another was deep into drugs
She overdosed and now I never see her
There was one who lived in Chicago
She was full of hope
One who took pills for pleasure
But now only smokes dope
Another who takes photos
Who only dreams in black and white
We are just best friends
I hope one day I
Well one day I'll take the train
To somewhere new
With my guitar and my ripped up shoes
I think I'd really love to start again
With a new name, a new life
Some new friends

I'll write you all letters
Explaining my guilt
I'll never forget you
I promise you all that I will
Try to visit again
On a warm summer day
My hair will be past my shoulders
And my heart taken away
By someone who is as close to perfect
As the word itself
And when I look into their eyes
My brain would start to melt
Like the eagle and the poacher
It's just a kind of game
You never know who's gonna win
And what’s to blame
Is it because we live in a land that land makes medicine illegal
Or the fact that we deny any form of help to the most vulnerable of people
We think we own the world
When we are really just a race
Who took the fact that we have thumbs
As the right to claim first place

Take this message in a bottle
And throw it out to sea
Hopefully through all the pollution
They'll find me
With a joint in my hand
And my guitar in the other
I'll tell them I've quit cigarettes
And this is just another
Way to cope
With the every day life
I know they won't believe me
I'm a criminal in their eyes
I'll fight for all my friends
That have been taken down
By wars or drugs or policeman
Their souls I never found
I guess it's time to move on
A new chapter will begin
Maybe this time I'll let the light
Come shining on in
I know I've let my mother down
She probably hates me
The feeling might be mutual
But that doesn't even phase me

For me there's just so many things to say
I can't even wrap my head around
What happened new years day
I was alone in the bathroom
Drunk beyond belief
Taking a drag off a cigarette
And then a hit of ****
It was me and three of my friends
Two were having ***
The other had a friend over
The were on the couch touching lips
I called up a friend
He said he wasn't busy
He said I should hang up
He knew I was way past tipsy
We talked for hours
then I went back to the room
The reeked of smoke and ****
With a hint of the blues
I called up a friend of mine she paid me a visit
She gave me a big hug
I really, really miss it
When I saw her face
I almost started to cry
She left, I love her
She's the best friend that I
Have ever had in this world
She knows about me
She helped me off the drugs
And my dependencies
When it was again just us four
I played them all a song
The tears all just came up again
I played along
We all went outside
And smoked the last cigarette
Smoke the rest of my ****
And went off to bed
It was a sad night
But I had things to learn
Like who will go out of their way
To help me reconfirm

My identity that had been lost
About two years ago
I don't think I'll ever find it
To whoever cares you should know
I'll miss you
When I'm nearly dead
Whenever that is
Remember what I've said
You can't love another
Without mending a broken heart
It's something I wish I'd known
Right from the very start
It would have helped me out a lot
Way back then
With my insecurities
That I can throw into the wind

Wish oh wish upon a star
Wake up where the days are close
Behind you
Maybe one day they'll get the message
That everything I do depends on them
Return to where it all began
Try to wake the dead and frolic now and then
Stay up in the fields and take a look
A flower floating through the forest
Floating in a bubbling Brooke
I guess that's where I started
My old friend
I hope I get to see you
One day before the end

I want it to rain
So why don’t we make it pour?
You and I, wandering these streets
with nothing but a full flask of whiskey
and fifty dollars
I’ll spend seven dollars on a pack
so we can slowly **** ourselves together
Let’s drink to an excess until the buildings start spinning
until features start to blur
Strange to think that we were once sober
Strange to think that we were one sane
When you’re young you think everything will end up on your lap
on a silver platter
Well drink up my dear
The only silver we’ll ever have is the silver lining of our own little cloud
Let’s make it pour

Through the patterns of the trees
or rather
the rays of sunlight poking it's way through
drawing out the twists and turns that are nature
she found herself
Within the mossy green and cold gray stones
sitting along biding their time
waiting for someone to notice
she found herself
She dared not fret over the small things
things like the end off the world
she was at home and at peace in the woods
where she could sing with the birds
flow with the endless streams
and stand tall like the redwoods surrounding her
Where she started, where she lives, where she would die
She found herself

--

Maybe
Sometime between now and then
We all got lost
Within the fine silver lines of a cloud
we lost ourselves
When we all step into the golden sunlight
we leave our old selves behind
and become free.

Prying eyes and an electric touch
you had me wrapped around your finger
the second your cold grey eyes looked in my direction
let me drag my hands down your back
let me take in a fresh breath
and hopefully
possibly even regrettably
wake up to you

like the waters of a raging ravine
you’ll end up where you need to be
like the white, drifting clouds in the sky
you’ll find your own way
tremble when my lips touch your thigh
it’s enriching, the little way you sigh

Grab my hair and I’ll take you by the tongue
the world goes on, it still moves
What’s the problem if it’s missing a few?
If you need me, I’ll be somewhere in the forest
digging my dry, college feet into the wet ground
so full of life, which is something I’ve been missing from mine

The world goes on
We can do as we please
The
  World
    Will
      Go
        On.

Train your eyes to see the world for what it is
Train your ears to hear the conviction in her voice
Train your mouth to taste the sincerity on her lips
Train your hands to know the mountains of her vast, beautiful, valley of her body like the back of your hand
Train your head to not over think the things you've been taught to hear, see, taste, and feel
Train your heart to help you tell the difference
between star crossed love
and a drunken night out

Over and over the orchards burn
while we in turn cover our feet in dirt
and smoke the universe
With our fingers dipped in fire
we write our names along the wall
we will take to the wilderness
and be warm with euphoria
Seldom do you hold me close
It's only with remorse that you kiss away my warmth
take to the rooftops
throw away the world
drive me home
and forget to call me yours
Seldom are my actions not tinged with lonesome regret
I've never been one for words
especially when they are needed most
I talk with my hands in a language we all know but seldom enjoy
Lay with me upon my floor
place your hands where most won't go
cover my body with your own
a blanket that I call home
but I'm not yours
I’m not what want you want
just who you ****
not who you love

The virgins are on fire
and this is war
a war fought with flowers and cigarette smoke

I really wish it was this way
Although, a man can dream can’t he?
It’s a harsh reality he comes to find
when he awakens from his fearless, faithless, rest

The virgins are put to death
and peace within itself
comes from process of ******, theft, and greed

but it doesn’t have to be that way

the jesters could still entertain the royals
the old folk could still toss their bread to the birds
and the man on the street could still make a decent living

It’s all attainable
It’s nothing but a state of mind
It all could stay

All is fair in the atrocities committed during love and war
At least that is what I have learned from you
When you have fallen for an angel with the mind of a *****
It's impossible to remain slick like silver and true
When you told me you were going to go back home
I never imagined home wasn't where we have always been
Living between the birds and snakes we found a tome
And it taught us how to love and decode what we've seen
Drain your veins and take up a young cigarette
The smoke won't help you get over it all
Cover your eyes, ears, and mouth and forget
The melancholy memories from a wistful fall
Don't you remember anything at all from your innocent past?
What was once loved in the light of youth can never last

Run your fingers through me like silk
Let the cracked, fragile walls down
Like the vulture spying the ravaged ground
Pick my bones cleaned until all I’m left with
Is a beating heart telling me to run, to glide, to walk, to crawl
Away from all your convictions
The problem is I have craved another like myself
For so long
and I believe that is what you are
Keep my secrets like I keep yours
Let’s share a cigarette and **** ourselves even more
In the war torn, ravaged, copper tinged ground
that line the inside of my numb skull
a flower grows in the rubble
A tulip, pink and elegant, off setting the broken reality
I want you to break through me
like the flower does the ground
and let me see all of your beauty
So I may find peace in the ever burning fires
that ignite my soul

Turn the tides like you turn unwanted heads
Crystal eyes make everything better
Clear your mind of the dreaded hotel beds
She may crumble down like dust, don’t let her
Watch the paper cranes fall as you burn down
Taking over the once jejune city
Drowning in the tears of a washed up clown
It’s become a way of taking pity
So sit on down in that old, dusty, chair
And look right out the window, what it is
the people, they say with uniform care
Trust us, we are free, in this land of his
When you see a fork in the road, don’t pass
Look to the sun, and walk into the grass

Etched into the ageless texture of silver and stone
Cut into the thin edges of cloth and paper
As it is growing on you, it is growing on me
With time it will all come
just as the pink buds of the trees awaken on a cold spring day
so will you
and so will I
When it all becomes too much
we regretfully sleep away our lives
until all that’s left is a dreamy buzz of “used to”s

“I used to care”
          “I used to know”
                    “I used to love”

So stay awake and watch the sun rise
Let your instincts free and howl at the moon
Drive yourself to the fork in the road
Get out
and walk
You need no more than the eyes in your head
and the heart in your chest