i just want to
know what it's like
to not feel alone
when i go to
sleep.

At least 4 people have asked me this question in the last 10 minutes. This is the answer.

As a child, I grew up learning that God is who I should follow. That he will lead you into paradise, and you will rest in his kingdom. At the age I am now, I'm choosing to disagree. I don't believe in a higher power. I don't believe there is someone watching over me, I don't believe someone has already calculated my every step. It's hard for me to grasp the concept of it. I know that it is a scary thought that there won't be a hand to hold throughout my life, but I can hold my own.
But Why Buddhism?
I'm assuming everyone has different goals of life. My main goal is to be happy. That is literally all I ask for. Happiness. Shooting star? I wish for happiness. 11:11? I wish for happiness. It's been that way since I was a little girl. Buddhism uses meditation and the teachings of Buddha to set a path for your life. It teaches to look into yourself to find what you need. Things like compassion and kindness come from inside. In my religion I am not put against an almighty being. I have no one to be compared to but myself and in knowing this, I can know that I can grow into who I am supposed to be. I believe in reincarnation, I have even before I learned what Buddhism was. I always thought you were reincarnated until you lived a perfect life and went to heaven. Now I believe that you are shooting for Nirvana, not some place in the sky. i am not bashing any other religion I used to believe in it. There is more to it than this, but I'm not trying to write a paper about it.

Everyone is entitled to their views and opinions. I only hope that my choices don't make me lose the friends I love and care for, but if they do, I didn't have them as friends in the first place and I understand their choices too.

Stay Peaceful,
Jay

I leave the lights off whenever I get home now.
My eyes don’t care much for looking around these days.
My heart was never big enough to get lost in anyways.
They say we haven’t seen most of the ocean floor,
but I could tell you all about it right now.
And that’s okay.
I’m not okay,
but I’m okay.
Even the sea must let go sometimes
and trust that its tides know where
they must be.
Even the waves know it takes time
before they can be free.
I don’t need light to see that darkness
knows how to wait patiently.
And I’m not scared of the dark anymore,
since I’ve realized that it’s just a part of me.

it does not matter
where I go;
my heart keeps
running
into
you.