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Feb 2018 · 266
Wait, Wait, No Take-Backs
Love is,
Also letting them go
So they can be intoxicated, infatuated, crazy in love with someone else

Someone that is not you

You wouldn’t dare interrupt that because you know how much they’ve wanted that

They told you, you listened
But did not act
Refused to
Did not know how
Were afraid to
But not them

They acted
Knew how and were fearless

Now you’re alone
Distant
Reminiscing
Wondering
When will love happen to me? (again)
Jan 2018 · 315
The Kids from Encanto
For my people that work from sunrise to sunset and even under a harvest moon and pick and pull and clean and babysit and nurse and tell stories and plow and feed and nurture and read and write and live and laugh and cry and sorrow and breathe

For my people that know there's something more
Don't know what it is yet urged to understand it

For my playmates who left the hood
My brethren, I cheer for you—we did it!
For my playmates who are still there
Stay strong and be stronger
For my playmates that have died
You live on through me and my pen

For the boys and girls who grew up being told
"Don't be a statistic"
For the boys and girls who were told
"You all can't read!"

For my people that have had nothing all their life and strive for something more
For my people that want a life worth living and then they live it

Let a new earth rise for my people and for my playmates and for all the boys and girls that dreamt of shooting stars, colorful balloons and swinging so high your toes touch the sky

That! Keep that ember lit and bright
Ode to Margaret Walker
Jan 2018 · 198
Godeater
Have you ever felt unstoppable...
Like nothing could detain you from reaching your goals
That is how I feel right now
–––––––––––
On top mountains the wind gusts loudly
Clouds form and mist pecks at your skin
I have seen the horizon
I know how far one can see
I am here to tell you:
You can go further

The wind hollers with might
Let it elevate you
Surround your soul with its strength
Breathe in, inflate with courage!
Enough to eat Gods
Oct 2017 · 239
Maturing
And she smiles...
With the greatest of grins
She blows trees and keeps them rooted

He's the cool kid who drinks fizzy water
'stead of foamy brew
Listens to fat beats with bars
dreams of his castle and exploring Mars

She smiles because she found someone that gets her
He explores the bashful smirks

She allures the curious
He seduces insecurities
Nov 2016 · 622
Technology
And as he took another swig
Yes, Another
of Whisky
not whiskey but
Whisky
there's a difference.
He knew this
He also knew he was drunk
he drunk more
and they asked him
Did you talk to your parents today?
yes,
well
we Texted
And He took another swig
He drunk
He gulped
And he wished that text was a Talk
So They wouldn't feel so far away
Nov 2016 · 318
Letter to Apt #4
why is it that alcohol makes me leak
it opens and i pour
it reminds me that you exist
i wish you were real

in order to leak i drink
i drink and leak
leaking my truths and secret secrets

you are a secret
a secret that seeps through the cracks
the cracks that leak
leak the bleak creek

leak, leak, leak
drink, drink
Oct 2016 · 264
Untitled
If hands were enough
to hold an avalanche off,
then my heart could stop an earthquake

The beat will contradict the quake
with its shakes and quivers

The great divide is present
the split zig-zaged
It gaps what once was
Seperating; it will never be

split-screen identity--
Simultaneous Distance
Homage to Thom Gunn's "The Man with Night Sweats"
May 2016 · 369
Asking you to stay
May
May 20th...
I don't even know what day it is today
May 22nd, 2015
Last night I did *******...
And I smoked a lot of ****
And I drank a lot

Between Screwdrivers and Cuba Libres
There was something there waiting
I'm searching for something without any idea of how to find it
Why do I punish myself?
It's just me causing harm to me
I am becoming my reflection
Mar 2016 · 453
Scaredy Cat
Pitiful thing,
my heart,
it is frightened to love
--anyone but you.
Mar 2016 · 444
Sriracha
Today
I did not think of you as much.
Mar 2016 · 324
Butterflies
The day is coming
of it I am sure
We will meet again
It will be a casual, everyday, scenario
A coffee shop, a bookstore
Surprised, alarmed, a forced Hello
And I will fail in telling you how I truly feel
Mar 2016 · 359
Self-Control
In solitude I find myself
As if I were lost
During nights of loneliness I am forced to accompany myself
With myself I spend time
Forced to confront uncomfortableness
Awkward stares await my reflection
Accompanied by depression and all her friends

No distractions to distract
A Vice City no more
Prohibition of vices
Eliminates the haze

Who I was is not who I am
My alter ego took over
The Hero creates the Villain—not the other way around

I am rediscovering myself, solely
Alone, alone, I need to be alone
I have never been
I do not know how

Ignore my instincts for company
I urge to leech on for friendship and love
Companionship is a drug
But I combat and deny all—no
No I say
It is time to be alone

For solitude is my new lover
I will get used to this eventually
Coming home to no one
And no one waiting for me at home

To be alone; my choice
It is not a luxury nor is it a goal
I chose this
I choose to be alone
Sep 2014 · 416
Zzz
Zzz
Insomnia,
I stay up for no one but you
Jul 2013 · 762
Coexist
There is nothing more that I hate than this
What this is, is different for all
This is that and that is this
This destroys my days and then claims my soul
A state of oblivion with no dove in sight
That could change if this was better
What it is is this.
And this, this, is this
And that is lost--
That will be nothing without this
This, is all mine.
That will happen when this is better
Better is what I wish this was
**** this, and **** that
This is all mine
This, is all mine.
Does this happen to you?
Jun 2013 · 501
Reality
In my dreams, I visit people that I don't even visit when I'm--awake
I visit people that I don't even know
I go to their homes, they take me in, we converse...
We share intimate looks, how was your day?
What have you been up to?
If they have a problem, they speak to me about it
In my dreams, I go into the darkest places. I visit the darkest things
I see death, I see people in turmoil, harm
And I stand there just sitting, watching them while I can't do anything at all
But do what I have already been doing nothing
In my dreams, I see everyone that I could have ever been with
Anyone that I could have touched but didn't
Because I decided to go with someone else
In my dreams, my subconscious speaks about all my ifs and could haves of my life
My dreams mock me for I would never do any of these things while I'm awake
Want to see what I see?
Jun 2013 · 768
The Writer
It was my first time meeting a writer
Brand new book, published and everything
He stood, quivering, sheltered, in his wrinkled black 501s—
Costumed tailored shirt, the initials read EC
Blazer, black suede. Let’s not forget his outdated soul patch
Bald with long hair in the back, a pity of a mullet
He spoke to me, what do you wanna know?
About? Everything. You have to write. So, write.
We get interrupted; he has to make a speech
The crowd is four glasses in. A man whispers to me smokescreen
Typical, no respect.
He shakes, his mouth scared to even move, fumbling every word
I need a glass.
I pour it; he downs it and begins to read
Slur
The audience mingles, forgets why they are here. What should we eat?
A pause, an applause.
And no one gave two ***** about what he had to say
Or what he wrote.
All, but me.
It was great meeting you, pop a bottle of pinot
and we’ll talk more about what not to do in writing.
Or, we can just drink.
He taught me everything.
May 2013 · 908
For Once
I told myself I could walk to the moon once
As if breathing was never an obstacle
? I wonder if they serve coffee & donuts
And giving a piece the title of Untitled is still a title
Liquid courage comes best on the rocks
But she stares at me with a subtle smirk and a twinkle in her eyes
I did shower today-I deserve this attention
The air conditionar always breaks when it's in most need
And Tecate tastes great during a hangover
People believe what you tell them,
I've got to stop talking to the mirror
May 2013 · 465
TruTh
I Never understood It
Love, Faith, Hope, Myself
All subsidies of Li**Fe
May 2013 · 1.2k
The Roller Coaster
There’s a street that I drive on daily
I’ve driven on it since I was a kid
When it rains the gap gets flooded
and a slice of Oregon seems to seep in
at the top of the ***** there’s a cross
For those that could not wait,
a life is now lost and the spirit dwells
where the nocturnal God creeps from fence to fence

There’s a street that I drive on daily
I’ve driven on it since i was a kid
Children hike it in search of school with no parent in sight yet-
The plight of a wingless bird would be worthless without,
A drowning fish
Mislead youth graffiti the signs marking their grounds like a dog
A ****** infection
A dimensional problem three generations passed
No cure no amount of affection

There’s a street that I drove on daily
I have driven on it since I was a kid
The fog is thickest down the *****
And the crow gazes down the passerby’s soul
To understand it, you would have to be insane
for the man is not crazy until he seems deranged
Fine malt liquor 40s, the fuel for the hood
becomes a constant struggle and the rock is now a feud

there is a street that I drive through daily
I’ve driven on it since I was a kid
One day I will use it to leave and heave this troubled past
but for now I return and speed through it-
in this labyrinth lies a monster—one you cannot see
It reaches in your pockets and forces you to bleed.
Grab another and one more! it feels good. while. it. lasts

For there’s a street that I drive daily
I’ve driven on it since I was a kid…

— The End —