Maybe we want to be
like the flowers
pressed in books,

specifically chosen out of all
the little beautiful flowers
the petals die and fall
and disconnect from their world.
And while they are broken, dying
and slowly withering away
someone finds potential
of it becoming beautiful.

They take the time and gentleness
to pick it up
without breaking it even more
and preserving it forever.

You're always
At battle
Against me

Maybe you would've been better
Without me since day one
Because you felt invisble
And all the attention was on me

I'm sorry
I truly am
I know how it feels

Please stop battling against me
its been far too long
So long that now I am
At battle with myself
And there's never
A resolution
Or treaty
Or peace
Within me
There is no end

I am like the cracked sidewalk
Slowly eroding
With fading colors and
Roots breaking through

The sidewalk is ancient
And not very beautiful
Just plain and gray
With millions of stories
But with not much importance

Walked all over
Stepped on
And engraved
Having seen thousands
of lovers pass by
And countless memories created
But it didn't partake in any
Loves
Adventures
Or stories

And no one seemed to ever
Look at the sidewalk
Or find beauty in its cracks
It was simply just to step on
And walk away
Without a thank you

So it slowly covers
With dead fall leaves
And chewed up gum
Developing more cracks
Desperately waiting for
Maintenance to come

I'm not beautiful
I'm not bright
I'm not talented
Or precious in anyones sight

I'm plain
With brown eyes
And brown hair
And average everything

No I don't want you to pity me
I don't even want to pity myself

I'll never amount to anyones dream
I'll never be enough
And I'll usually be ignored

I have to cope with what I have
And who I am
Because I can't wait for someone
To change me
And pick me up
And make me feel significant
Because there will be a desperation
To tough to handle
Like an alcoholic
Waiting for their next drink
And cigarette smoker
Waiting for their break
To smoke another.

And they will never
Get their drink
Or get their cigar
And they'll die
Of weariness
Like I die
Waiting for
**you

Don't be the fluid
that slowly fills my lungs
and makes it harder for me to breathe

Just because my problems
Are smaller than yours
Does not make them inferior
Or insignificant

Dont you dare tell me
I am over exaggerating
Because you are not in my skin
You dont really know how this is

Just because you've gone
Through millions of miles
Of problems and successes
Does not mean my achievements
Are measly or amount to nothing

Just because you are numb now
Doesn't mean you should numb me too
I can't have a life full of anesthetics

**Just let me be

When you are asked
What you look for
You say eyes
And a smile
And overall beauty
Like most of the guys

So my endless nights of studying
And attention I pay everyday
To further become a more intelligent being
And the positive thoughts I cram
Into my brain
To have a beautiful personalty
And the millions of words
I tie together to form
A meaningful poem
are nothing

So maybe thats why
We spend countless hours
Just finding what perfect shade
Of lipstick brings out our smile
And pointless times
Fixing our hair
And precious seconds
Trying to excentuate our eyes
And thousands of dollars
Of metal and wire
To straighten our smiles

and maybe thats why
I put down my books
And picked up the makeup


But I've slowly returned


To the books

Because

Beauty without
Intelligence
Is like a masterpiece
On a napkin