I came upon a river,
as wide as the years
spent to to find it.

I took of my shoes,
to rest down beside it.

And as I stopped
to think of a way
to make it across
the waters someday,

my hair turned grey,
my flesh to dust,
and the river swept me away.

I raged and I churned,
I frothed through the years.

I carved through the earth,
deep valleys and streams.

I devoured all in my path:

animals and travelers,
I held nothing back.

Until at last came a ferryman
slowly drifting with ease.

His eyes fully open,
with a soft smile and care.

I surged fully violent,
to consume him with my wake.

But as his oar pierced my skin --
Oh, agony's bright light!

His oar parted then,
and my drops diffracted the sky:

the stars and the moon,
all jewels within my mind!

Again and again:
deliberate strokes against my rage.

As he made his way across,
my mighty rapids became

rhythmic lapping on the shore.

Then he laid down his oar,
and prostrated three times

fully bent and out-stretched
with his head on the floor.

Surprised, I looked the side
to see who he met reverently.

And, what did I see? Myself, just as before.
Already standing on the other shore.

I left, again, on the next step for my path.
Where I find myself now makes me look back.
Do I regret everyone I've lost on my way?
I won't know 'til the end of these days.

But the new place I'm at is enough to think about:

He's divorced, his wife took the kids.
He drinks and regrets what he never did.
His laugh is like thunder, distant and looming;
his voice's like his television: obscene and booming.

The other man is older, he lives in the study
watches television all day 'til his eyes become ******.
He belittles himself, and has lost the will to live.
If only I could teach him the power to forgive.

I learned he lost his wife and daughter.
One to cancer, the other manslaughter.
Now he drinks from noon 'til morning,
and chain smokes without learning.

But as I stay awake in the evening,
listening to their drunken speaking
I wonder, to myself, rather than deplore:
is this what my life will have in store?

I think I've forgotten more than I know.

If only my thoughts would leave me alone,
and allow these insights to grow.

There's a darkness growing shadows,
like tendrils from a plant,
with wicked thoughts of discontent
and ill intentioned words like "can't."

You say that there's a place you're going;
a place you once called home.
But do houses stand the test of time
while streams around them flow?

I never thought I'd meet you
beyond the scope of centered thought,
but here you stand before me
and I know that I've been caught.

I won't ask for your forgiveness.
Nor compassion, love nor hope.
I only ask to be met as a man
drawn out with the undertow.

I wonder what you'd say to me,
if Time could stall and talk.
Would we reminisce of summers spent
or bicker 'til the dawn?

'Cause life's a loop of distant thoughts
rippling blindly through the void.

Sometimes I think if I were sober
this would make a little more sense.
It feels like my life's all over.
Or maybe I'm a little too dense:

I only know what they say
when they say what I know.

Sometimes I think  that my heart's troubled,
like everything is a little amiss.
Then again, my feelings are muddled.
I can't tell agony from bliss.

'Though we said our good-byes,
hello still hung in air.
Did she understand how time flies
ever onward without a care?

Her smile was distant; the embrace not enough.

Yet, we said our good-byes
while hello still hung in the air.

Those days were delightful
with tea in the park in the evening twilight.
Through the fog, careless but thoughtful,
I'll remember the sun and hers eyes as equally bright.

Somehow, we said our good-byes
while hello hung still in the air.

I'll see you on the other side of me.
Between the way it is, and the way it seems.

I'll see you the next time I come around.
When you're lost and can't be found.

This is how it has to be.
It's the only path I see.

This is how you'll find a way
back home to the light of day.

I'll see you on the other side of me,
between waking life and dreams.

I'll see you when the winds don't blow,
but your stream continues to flow.