Cant you see or am I blind?
The way we hang around all the time.
I on my back your head on my chest.
I thought it was love and we could forget all the rest.

But alas I was wrong.
I let you slip through fingers singing your songs
Songs about men just out of reach
You thought they’d take you like a southern peach

You try and try but get no where
But you always say Dan will be there!
I’m your best friend and there’s no doubt,
I try my best to keep you from without.

But it’s hard to stand when your blows are low
I stay here and take it, but put on a show.
I want you to like me, really I do,
But it’s hard when you’re always looking for someone to.

You never really find yourself until you're lost in a crowd,
Stranded with all the other souls,
moving through life on the same path and mostly to the same destination.
Standing with the others makes things clear for me.
I just stand back and watch,
And think.
But I always do a lot of thinking.
How could I get around it when I see everyone else around me being happy with their love, their world.
But here I am,
just me to myself,
Contemplating life, love, happiness/Wondering/ Wishing/ hoping/ praying that I could find what I'm looking for,
to be happy like the others.
But me being me,
I can't find what I am looking for,
and I wont just take anyone, I've had too many bad experiences for that.
For now, I will continue to weave my way through the faceless dull crows.
But, One day I will find you,
I know I will!
And that will be the day that my happiness stays for good!

Have I forgotten about you?
Do I feel the need to know what your up to?
Do I let the pain of what you did to me bother me?
Am I going to let you hold me down?
Am I going to let you take away my future?
Am I going to allow you to hold me back from people I want to be with?
Am I going to let your drama stress me out?
Am I going to let your parents control my actions?
Am I going to return your friend requests, texts or calls?

NOPE!!!

I know the sooner I go to bed,
The sooner I have to get up.
But I don't want to get up.
I want to stay asleep,
where everything is simple.
Where my mind is free to wonder,
my thoughts uninhibited.
But until my body over comes me,
I stay awake,
Fighting every urge within me to close my eyes for even a second.
One blink turns to two,
two leads to three,
and three bring tomorrow.
I want to stay asleep
Where I know I am safe,
and no one can judge me,
and I can feel like I'm on top of the world.
I can dream of my future or re-live my past,
or think of that one person who makes my day.
It really doesn't matter,
cause I'm asleep and sometimes its just easier that way.

Do you know I still think about you from time to time?
While our lives race bye and bye.

Why am so hung up on you?
After all the stuff you put me through.

Did you know where you left me?
On the porch, dark and empty.

How did you make me feel so great?
When my heart was full of hate.

Why did it feel like to get your love,
I had to stand in line and push and shove?

How could I be so naive?
Now I just sit here and I grieve.

We talk like strangers,
We used to know each other, in a past life,
but that was a long, long time ago
Times are changing.

You think were still best friends,
but in truth, I can't stand talking to you.
What can I say anymore?

Nothing you say to me will reverse the pain you have caused me
So many sleepless nights, days missed from school,
These times, I can never get back.

I'm better off without you

And now in my bluntness, a side of me rarely seen
You want to start a fight
You want to get even

If you want an even playing field,
It can never be attained.

Even would imply we started off as equal
And that is not the case

We start now with me chopped at the knees,
My blood slowly leaking out,
You know you have the upper hand,
But my will is stronger than that.

We use to talk everyday
I was your safe place
I was your rock
But you ******* up

You threw everything we had away
Our closeness
Our relationship
My trust
Its all gone

Try as you might to get it back
but it will be a very slow road
one that you may never see the end of.

You try to get me to remember the good times
and I agree we had many
but the hurt you continually caused me was indescribable

Now I'm on a new chapter
Free from deception, lies, and hurt