4:
i am fed with alphabet soup,
and i am made to sing this song that sounds catchy.
this seems rather fun.

9:
3, 6, 9, 12, 15, 18, 21, 24
my teacher says that we have to recite our timetables whenever we come into class.
i like seeing my brain grow from day to day.

16:
floating from room to room,
just to have my mind rearranged,
and "YOU HAVE EXAMS. GET YOUR **** TOGETHER" being shoved down your throat.

learning is no longer useful,
for all that matter is that grade in red.

A, B, C, D or E? it defines your life.

all that i feel like doing is burning my textbooks, notes and my school.

i am only 16, but i am so worn out.

emanating the stench of alcohol
you used the key to your heart
and it was opened;
pent-up emotions poured out
heartfelt words
sentiments
memories
poured out of your mouth
like the way water would flow off a tap
you said that you were proud of me
you told me to take care of myself
( i was confused, i was scared )
your eyes got coloured from white to red
little droplets of liquid forming over your eyeballs                                  
( i did not know what to do )

i watched as molecules of alcohol fed you to the angels (or perhaps, demons) of sentiments.

(d.b.)

walking down the street
I see this boy;
goregous
laden with muscles
his glistening white teeth reflecting his beauty.

I am rid of words to describe him
for my vocabulary bank has just withered.

Cheesy and overused it may sound,
but I think,
he's
perfect.

I look at the mirror
and all I see are wide hips,
thighs that probably have pigs in them,
and a face that makes me want to punch the mirror.

I think of him,
and I ask myself,
"why am I so ugly?"

(d.b.)

I met the criteria,
but i'm worried about my mind feeling that i'm adequate.
I ask,
Am I adequate?
He responds,
with a resonating
harsh
bitter
'No'.

At that moment,
with pain,
came the realization that no matter what i did,
my mind wouldn't see me as adequate.

Alas, he couldn't be pacified,
and I never realized that I was actually adequate
until it was too late.

(d.b.)

peppered with the latest technology
adorn with the best clothes
"you have everything! you're so lucky!"

coming home
to an empty home
spinning round and round and round
with no one to hold you

they say that you're supposed to be happy
but they really don't know that materialism doesn't satisfy the heart or the soul

you're always left craving for something more
and the happiness you feel is like gold that's made of out of plastic

(d.b.)

reminiscent /ˌreməˈnisənt/ (adj) -

you're surrounded by things that provoke your mind
memories keep flooding in
mp4s pop up in your robotic little head,
that you've attempted to build,
just to stop feeling.

you're like tohoku after that tsunami;
you're damaged
but you know that you have to be a little bit stronger against these memories.
you're used to it.

(d.b)

acceptance

one word.
ten letters.
it seems so meaningless,
but yet it means so much.

some die trying to search for it.
some fight to love themselves,

( *'you're a mistake' 'disappointment.' 'useless.' 'good for nothing' )

some lose a roof over their heads.
some bonds get destroyed.
some feel lonely.
some feel lost.

you never will know,
if that boy walking down the street may be fighting with himself.
you never will know,
if that girl may not love her best-friend for who she really is.
you never will know,
if your classmates' parents kicked him out the house that was supposed to be his home.

so,
why don't you be nice to that person next to you?

after all,
we are all of the same species,
aren't we?

who knows,
we could prevent a life from being ruined.

(d.b.)

setting millions of alarms on your mobile phone
books and notes scattered all around
droopy eyes
shutting off...

jolts of nightmares
test papers test papers test papers
A big F written on the side on each one of them
thoughts fashioned in the form of thorns that aim to destroy you.

eyes wide open
staring into space
trying to fathom yourself

what is sleep?