I saw a picture of you yesterday.
And I have to say, you looked ok.
I forced myself into believing you
didn't own me anymore,
that my smile wasn't yours to take away anymore.
But I was wrong.
So, so wrong.
But I guess I'm ok.

I don't want to write about you anymore.
But my heart is so full of you,
That I have to.
I dedicate song, by song to you.
Hoping the music will make you understand.
Should I sing my heart out to you, to make you understand?
Should I pour out every drop of love inside me,
Even if I don't get it back?
Tell me what you're feeling.
Is it love, or is it friendly?
Should I run or should I stay?
It's killing me to love this way.
I've been here before and it's not a good place.
I'd like to be safe, where ever you
are.
But I can't make you love me if you don't.
So maybe I won't.

Trying to forget you
Is like not getting a hit.
I'm addicted to you,you're the disgusting, so lovely drug I can't contain in my thoughts.

Your beauty makes it hard to breathe.
It makes it hard to hide my heart.
Although I can't get enough of you
You make me feel so blue.

My skin is yours to slice away.
I couldn't stop you if I tried.
You get inside and turn the tide
So I must inflict pain on the outside.

Although I've tried to let you go
If you love me I have to know.

I love you
So, so much.
But my god,
Do I want to punch you.
Jealousy explodes in the pit of my stomach
When you say how loving she is.
I want to rip out this anger.
I want to stop shaking so much
Every time you tell me how much
She means to you.
But I just can't get that burning anger
Out of my heart.
And this hostility
Will finds its way to you.
Even though it would feel
So amazing to hurt you
Like you're hurting me.
I just can't do it.
So please don't cause me
This horrible burning any longer.

You tell yourself you're never going to do it again; the thing that lets you pour out your emotions. But you know you just can't live without it, even if it's hurting you and the people around you. You know that next time you feel empty, worthless, useless, that it will be the only thing you can think to do, that will, at least, temporarily, set you free. And that is what addiction is.

I now know I'm not the type of girl who hooks up and runs. Love is in my blood. But I also know I'll never be your type of girl. And that leaves me open and empty.

I don’t want to be
That stupid, love-sick girl
I have always been.
I burned her remains in
The fires of my heart
Long ago.
And I don’t want her back.

But here you suddenly are.
So beautiful in every way, every aspect.
That you have come to make me
That girl again.
The one who hopes again.
The one who prays for love.


You’ve destroyed my perfectly
Constructed walls.
And I’m tightly clinging on
For all I know.
I don’t think you could ever
Make me feel so low.

But then you tell me about her.

The way she smiles when you kiss her.
The way she touches you, late
When the moon is out alone.
And I tell you how happy
I am for you, how great I
Think it is.

Because these are the things friends tell each other.
I know I should feel a
Sparkling happiness for you.
But all I feel is a burning
In my stomach and a pain
In my heart and I know again.

This is what it is to feel your heart die again.

There’s no hope. No love. There’s only me
Trying time and time again to run
Away from my own skin.