it's there.

The burn of the nectar
on her bitten lips.
the girl in heaven, she thought
tied to the floor.
this is it. she thought.
this


this is what she wants.

but this is what and
what is this?
A passing fad or

pathetic destiny.

Life once had a plan. Once.
Once upon a time.

out into the wilderness you go
to **** on that little bit of heaven
to feel it,
to feel something.

once it was your ***** little secret
but you can never be to careless with secrets
the more you hide them the more apparent they become to those who you tried ever so carefully to disguise them from.
as with every secret it was found
people were hurt
and you lost your little ritual
your evening game.
sent into the wild to do that one thing which keeps you sane.

so as you stand there in the dark
next to the trash bins where you belong
and watch the glow of your friend flicker away
think to yourself, is this okay?

So here it goes
we're back again
two point oh?
let's make a change.
press your body onto mine, kiss my inner thigh, scream my name in His face. Let's show them real disgrace.
no?
wonder  how did I miss this icky kiss, how did i sleep without this little *****, how could i go without ever coming back to this? ****.

But
There's no point in fooling or joking, laughing or crying.
It's time to face the facts.

The above it but a lie.
One festered in my mind
You are the poison that I chose
To run within my soul
To ruin this little girl
And make her want to be Alone.

when we are young the world is full of wonder
bright lights, small creatures and games of mummies and daddies.
as we grow we start to see the cracks on the surface.
the cold white of the hospital walls
the fragility of the insect under our foot
the image of the happy family sour and rot before our eyes.
yet the world still has its beauty
the oceans of opportunity lay before us and we gladly set sail across them
towards the sky, the horizon
where all our hopes and dreams lay
but the further our ship sails away from the safety of the land, the more we realise that those so called cracks were not cracks at all
they were the truth.
and the cracks were our haven
our safe place.
they allowed us to see the world with an innocence which made it seem beautiful and simple.
an innocence we were forced to abandon.
the more we sail, the more we see,
and the more we pray for someone to blind us.
so we can go back to the land inside our heads.
where everything was possible and no one left us behind.

You are not a Kid.
Anything but

but once you were,
to me...at least.

Before I knew
knew the truth.
the meaning.
the being

being that you became.
that I created.

but I never knew your being.
just mine.
the one I created.
the one which adores my mind and haunts my hopes and dreams

me,
it haunts me.
you haunt me.
I haunt me.

My Frankenstein devours me.
It is not fit for me. Yet it is me.
In me.
My soul
My body
My mind.

I sit here
on my chair
and look down at the creatures, waiting there
i see them fight
with all their might
and try not to *****