I want passion.

I want to be overwhelmed
in the shadow of
100 cacti
mesmerized by a
myriad of bay leaves
rocking in the wind

I hope to be overcome
in the waters of
1000 rivers
where my toes are frozen
and my heart is full

Where America
isn't everything
and fireflies aren't the only
ones who light the night
and where you throw
away the lock
the key
and I can fall
into the arms
of love,
once more.

I'm a swirl
of crimson
paint
a lipstick
smear
a curling,
twisting,
writhing
sedated print
in hues
of violet-red

I'm in love,
my darling
and I want to
write
X's,
O's,
on every
empty surface
who will give me
just a moment to tell
them of my
love...

weave a stamp
of my kiss,
my crooked
thumbprint
on every lonely
facade
where you have
felt alone
and scared
and like love was
not designed for you.

Have you known the winter days?
Late February falls like frigid snow
Merciless undertow
Of evergreen and alpenglow
And grey ground pavement walking
Like Grocery shopping
and weak chai tea
Moonlengths from all family
And surrounded like strawbury temptation,
Late night lamp light contemplation
And drowsy-dampened mornings
Grey glaze of diluted boring
Spattered over every orifice
Charcoal eyes, platonic kiss.
Pull your bow to shoot and miss
Tell me all this is is what it is
And I will tell you, “okay”
(but you know this isn’t what I wanted)

Hide the roadsigns
Blur the guidelines
This is how I love you

Have you known the winter days?
Late February fell like fire on hell
And shook me from my sleep
Ashes cover snow-banked heaps of rubble
I slice my wrist on the sharpened stubble
Of your half-assed beard
(this is how I bleed my dear)
This is how I bear my soul
******* smile
And dominoes
Carnation cults
And buried bones
(This is how I build your throne)

Hide the gravestones
Burn the rainbows
This is how I love you.

And have you known the winter days?
Late February fallen like Lucifer to the underworld
We both knew I wasn’t altogether that typeof girl
But we pretended anyways
Alcoholic halo haze
And foreign intervention
Of somewhat insidious intention
And the legitimate logistical question
That defined our discourse on fear
(this is how I think my dear)
This is how I speak my mind
All that grey
Those missing roadsigns
Smoke and soot and
Blurry guidelines
And Gravestones gone
And rainbows ash
(and we are never coming back)

This.
This is how I love you.

"a girl can dream"
you said
it's obscene
how badly I yearn
for you to be
separate from a screen

you're miles away,
miles and miles,
but you keep me up at night

dearest, this is more of nightmare
than a dream, I apologize

I'm spewing drunken stupor

but God ******,
you're not any less prettier

& I don't wish any less
to collapse those miles
upon the embrace
of us two when allowed

unfortunately, though,
the distance remains constant

and that distance
is constantly reminding
how much happier I could be
if you were here next to me

who knows what I mean
who knows what's you feel
but I'm telling you now
this yearning is real

there will be a chill in the
morning when I wake

in honor of you,
out in your winter state

you are art at work
in a wild world

I wait and wait
to experience you for real