i wish i could show you the stars and the moon (but i can’t, you are amongst them now) so i could explain to you how beautiful and breathtaking it is up there. i wish i could show them to you, so you would realise how beautiful you actually are (and were, ofcourse).

i wish i could show you the stars and the moon, so i could show you that you still live inside of us, just like the stardust every human being was created with before their birth.

i wish i could show you the stars and the moon so you would realise how special you are and that being different, is in fact, okay. because being special is something you should have been loved for and not hated for.

i wish i could show you the stars and the moon, just so we could be together again. (but i can’t, you are amongst them now)

what am i supposed to do when every single part of my brain is intoxicated with you?
i cannot breathe without you, living is not as easy anymore. there are only three words on this planet that can describe the thing i'm feeling and it is the french saying 'tu me manques'. because love, you are a part that is missing from me and i cannot wait to collect you and lock you up in the collection that i call my heart.

you will be happy again
you can eat your fave food without feeling guilty
your scars will fade
you can go out with your friends without worrying about food
your body will be strong again
no more hairloss
you won't have to wear 1000 layers of clothes anymore just to feel warm
your cute little tummy can be used as a soft pillow by a lover or friend
you will feel alive again

My soul might be everything but alive at this very moment, but dear, you make me feel so different. When our lips are locked (in my dreams, sadly) I feel infinite, I feel like I'm moving through different galaxies. I don't know what it is about you, something about you drives me wild and makes me want to sing.

Even though you are the reason of my never ending sadness and you probably don't even know that I am breathing for you, my love, my soul is ready to adore yours.  I will wait for you, until you aware of my existence.

imagine waking up next to the girl of your dreams at 11 AM in the morning after a long night of reading books and drinking coffee while you were also writing poems about the way her brown eyes light up when she talks about how beautiful the stars and how interesting galaxies are. you remember where you first met her and you saw her beautiful presence hiding behind a pile of books at the book shop and she was wearing the cutest polka-dot skirt you've had ever seen and you swear that on that exact moment you started counting the freckles on her rosy cheeks that she fell for the way you looked at her with all your sympathy and you two connected and you both knew this was going to last forever. and a few months later when you were at ikea buying furniture for the appartment you now live in and she was looking at the fake cactuses and you saw how her sleeve revealed little red lines all over her tiny wrists you knew that you shouldn't buy cactuses, not even those made of plastic. because sometimes you'd wish she was made from plastic too, so she wouldn't have to feel all of these things she's feeling right now. and you were enjoying the moment where you just woke up next to her and you saw how she was sleeping with the most beautiful smile on her face and you knew it was because of you, because she told you the night before that when she wanted to buy those cactuses she saw you looking at her and she saw how much it must've hurt you and she never did again. because she didn't want you to feel the same way as she did back then.

we live in different cities
but my love, our hearts
are connected through
every street that holds
me away from your arms

her hair kissed her bright pink cheeks and reminded me of how much i wanted to be in the same place as those platinum blonde curls. i longed so much for her, for her whole being.
her jumble mind had me going wild, craving the words that came out of her chapped lips on a chilly night in december while we were watching the stars and drinking some cheap wine.
her hair waved along with the brisk wind, like a butterfly searching for one specific flower and slowly getting lost in a field of blossoms.

"i am captivated by you" is what she told me. i filled her body with wonder and delight and she did the same to me. if i told her, she would think i'm mad, falling for a fragile, scarred girl like her. but i just couldn't resist falling for those gloomy eyes encircled by freckles and dried mascara. but now, i wish i could have told her, because her body lay to rest with those exact same blossoms the butterflies in my stomach were looking for.