the loneliness is stiff
in the air
of this apartment
wine and menthol
cigarettes
quiet cat
in a corner chair

there are days the melodies
rise from opening
earth
and wrap themselves
around the branches
of trees
blossoming
wet lavender
petals
they drip down
note by note
fall into and
return
to the earth
again

looking down a city
street
you tumble
into the memories
of cradling sunsets
cradling arms and bodies
of past romances

those are the days i know
i couldn't help loving you

i loved you like the champion
the beggar
the defender
the gambler
the martyr
i loved you
with the sun-stricken craze
of a woman
who knew not
what else to do

but give it all
like she was meant to

that’s you
pointing to the stereo playing Bruce Springsteen
then pointing to me
you’re going to
explode one day

i cried and shook
my insides contracted
and released
sitting in a corner
of the kitchen
i asked you to turn
the music
off, but you had
something to prove

you’re going to explode
one day*
you said again
and finally i stopped the
crying and looked up to
you and my face
let you know

i will explode one day
and you will not be
there
to see it
you’re going to miss the show
and there will never be
anything else like it
something that was once yours
will no longer be
but it will continue
going, building strength
and power
till it erupts
and the sight of
the smog sky, the ******
sun
will not be yours
but another man’s

you understood and
left me in the corner,
alone and longing for
that day

it never hurt
to invite me over for
beers
watch me chug them down
then ******* twice
while you repeat
as i dress myself
that i'm more than welcomed to
stay the night

it never hurt
watching me walk
under the canopy
of trees
in the park
the sunlight
drizzling through
highlighting my long
hair
my bare arms
as i walk along
with another man
cups of coffee in our
hands
you, on the ground
i move past you
and leave you
ignored

it didn't hurt
sitting
across the street from me
as i laugh with some friends
in that pink skirt
which drove you crazy
six months prior
it slides up higher
my dark legs shimmer
in the summer's light

no, i can never hurt you

you're impervious
aren't you,
tough man?

nothing compares to the pain
she caused
when she left, and now
you think no one can touch you
and egg me on
asking me to do
worse

but i won't
not anymore

in fact, i'm deeply sorry
and only wish you
the best
and to let you
know
it always hurt me
to behave like this

Feel like I'd like fishing
Sitting there
Alone
On some body of calm
Water
A little rowboat or
Canoe
Early in the summer morning
Listening to the birds
Rise and the golden light spread
In the sky
Leaking through the
Willow trees
Sitting there
All day
Waiting

Feel like I'd like fishing
Sitting there waiting
Been waiting
Everyday
Anyway
Been waiting
For something
To come
To happen
My whole life

Been waiting
For an answer
Might as well
Wait for a fish to bite.

the night clings
to my skin
as it was meant to
spring is over
petals of blossomed
trees
hang on cobwebs
the car stereos blast
from the streets
and indoors
a man sings
i shall be released
to empty seats
worn booths with
the leather torn
dusty red drapes on both sides
of his stage

only i
am here
my palms outstretched
like a cat gazing
outside a window
waiting

my palms outstretched
asking
when? how?
can anyone see
this as now as me
and
who will it be?

do not know
the color of my eyes
sunlit

shattered bottles
glistening
on moon drenched streets

even as a broken pair
we're prettier than
most things well