the night air humming
and the warm wind
grazing my
skin
the streetlights buzz
like fireflies
whirling around me
the moon hangs
superbly
at the end of a downhill
boulevard-
orange, fired
giant
and aliened

the day never died
the moon robbed
the sun
and my love
waits for me
in silence
on a park bench
tonight

that’s you
pointing to the stereo playing Bruce Springsteen
then pointing to me
you’re going to
explode one day

i cried and shook
my insides contracted
and released
sitting in a corner
of the kitchen
i asked you to turn
the music
off, but you had
something to prove

you’re going to explode
one day*
you said again
and finally i stopped the
crying and looked up to
you and my face
let you know

i will explode one day
and you will not be
there
to see it
you’re going to miss the show
and there will never be
anything else like it
something that was once yours
will no longer be
but it will continue
going, building strength
and power
till it erupts
and the sight of
the smog sky, the ******
sun
will not be yours
but another man’s

you understood and
left me in the corner,
alone and longing for
that day

some days it gets so restless inside me,
i cannot breathe new air
i am vacuum sealed
there is only tossing and turning in tight space
you gnaw in me, demon man.

the sorrows of lost love always serve as the muse.
i want to
write about something good, something fresh
and beautiful
but some days it gets so restless i could pull my thick hair out
and drink myself sick and burn my skin and parade
the streets in fierce strides as a torn thing
what is this pain?
i imagined it as a kid and materialized it to reality.
why does it hurt so much, i asked, to fall in love?

this has been a deep slice
the answer bleeds warmer
you are getting there
closer
the knife pierces
the truth rushes  free
yes,
here it comes

friday nights no longer
have their after-glow
the buzzing silver light
guiding me to you
to the beers
to a place like home
warm, naked
entangled in your
bed

friday nights end
flat-lined, alone
the work shift over
at midnight
my muscles quake
my spirit rumbles for
something more
than this.
the streets
holler and i ignore and
sit in the cold
smoking a cigarette
with the smelly, crazy-eyed
bums
in the shelter
waiting for the bus
which will bring me
to the place i sleep

but i have no home

the nights with you
are long
red velvet
carpets
rolled out for majesty

tell me again
all those nice things
you said
at the bar
after i confessed
i was crazy about you

tell me again
as i hold you against the door
of my bedroom

and once you're through telling
me
i will jump on the bed
up and down
several times
like a child
like a monkey
like a lunatic

because for a night
people can be really happy
for one night
it happens
people will feel
the need to jump on a bed
repeatedly
and not care about
waking the
neighbors downstairs

because it's just one night
really, the only
and all that ever happened
before
was leading up to

this.

do not know
the color of my eyes
sunlit

this will be the last
sitting
on the staircase
of your apartment building
balled
chipping salmon-colored walls
leaning on the black
shining railing
i've gotten closer
with this railing
than i ever did
with you
i've familiarized myself
with this cold step
the mornings after
makeup dripping
on my lap and hands
hair spilling in tangled dreads
my body and soul worn inside-out
like ***** socks
from not being able
to say
i love you

this cold step
it and i
shared our moments
last