I know what is there
I know the love
waiting in your chest
a fist
ready to unclench

I

something calls out to each one of us.
on hot nights like these I hear
the sounds of the ocean
the pulling and expelling, the cold pressure,
the black magic of the deep sea

II

i stepped out onto the hot concrete
walking towards the corner store for
cigarettes
the sky in the Northwest was streaked
with colored ribbon of
neon orange and hot pink
above and behind me the sky was
a dusty blue
i thought of you
how you'd see the world tonight, how you're taking in the view and
if
you're okay there alone
far away from me.
i am alone and tonight is the kind of solitude i crave from life.

i am alone and i think of you and wish for nothing.

you are a part of me always. how can you not?
you are my love
you are the warm fuzz
and nothing that I love is without you.
i speak to you through
the falling lilacs and the bleeding sunsets.
your voice in the gut of the night.

the sighs between words
the darkness between breaths

my life
this moment
caught with you
in a silk web.

when my mind
is hushed
then the stillness
of something complete and filled
comes to me

it is then i know
we can be right
and i don't need
to prove
or justify
or explain
with recycled thoughts or old memories
or differences in our personalities
or with what
anyone else has to say.
i feel myself
weeping
with equal amounts
of sadness and joy
with equal parts
of everything known and undiscovered
as if all i have learned
was simply to get to you
and love you
and all i have yet
to come upon
will greet me
for the sheer sake
of keeping you eternally

curled
in the dark with you
it's cold
and we use the 11 p.m
news
for conversation
between
the two

lying on your couch in silence and
hunger, my muscles are in pain
and my skin, goose- bumped
and i think unimpressed
half-dazed
"really? this is how it is?"
then you ask me
how i am,
notice
my frozen hand
and
hold it, bring it
beneath your fleece sweater

and my mind curls inside itself
like a soft kitten
while my heart
sings
yes, this is how it is.