confidence
something i do not possess
how do you say
i can do this
all i ever say is
you can never do this

how do you not
break
and beat
and tear
yourself down

never once
have i not
doubted myself
told myself that
i’m not good enough
that i will never be good enough

everyone tells me otherwise
they say that i’m
a good student
a good person
good at math
good at reading
good at sports

still, i don’t believe them

for years i’ve tried
to welcome the self esteem
to banish the self doubt
i try to build myself up
not break myself down

but still
how do you not
break
and beat
and tear
yourself down

maybe one day
i will instead
build
myself up
to impossible heights

one day i will touch the clouds
and reach the stars
one day i will be on top of the world
and i will shout
with a smile on my face
you know what?
i’m great!

Today is
One of those
Rare days
When life is
Great

I’m gonna miss you,
My friend.
I’m gonna miss your silly smiles,
However fleeting they may be.
I’m gonna miss your laugh,
Even if it was only ever on my behalf.
I’m gonna miss seeing your face,
All over the place.
I’m gonna miss everything.
Everything about you.
Everything about you,
My friend.