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Craig Verlin Jan 2013
She interrupted me while reading,
"Go **** yourself,"
she said
"You are
nothing, and deserve
nothing, and I hope you die alone with
nothing.
Because you are *****,"
she said,
"***** and terrible
and full of shame.
I cannot look at you
any longer without disgust."

"Ok"
I replied,
dismissing her concern.
"This Hemingway is amazing
and I'd like to return to it."

She took none too
kindly to that,
ripped the novel
from my fingers.
"You are *****,"
she said,
"***** and terrible.
I cannot look at you
without such an anger
at myself for believing
you were something
more than nothing to me,
but now I have realized
and now you are nothing."

I didn't respond,
couldn't.
Such a beautiful anger
deserves no response
that I could give.
So she stormed off
all angry and beautiful
toward some other
man to fall in and out
of debt and love and
everything else with
as she had always done
and would always do.
It took all I had
not to stare in awe
as her silhouette stole
quickly out the door
into the dark,
novel in hand,
to leave me alone
with nothing,
just as I deserve.
Craig Verlin Jan 2018
Florida,
when it was known to me,
was a long land of strip malls and palm trees.
A long land of asphalt roadways and people
waiting on something
they pretended was not death.
The cast-aways of a culture that could not
strap their useless to a tree and leave them.

You could hear them in the grocery stores,
the thin lines of sweat beaded together
to crouch in the wrinkles of their flesh.
You could watch them in traffic,
sifting to the side like *******,
collecting itself and slowing down to naught.

It was not a happy place.
the sun reflecting in painted posters
and painted smiles, convincing those
who were not there.
Cold drove them down en masse,
large four-lane-highway flocks of them,
with winter adverts that lingered on
snowed-in, New England cable televisions,
telling of a thing that did not exist.

Florida,
when it was known to me,
was a land of dark, high-waisted palms
lining roads thick with *******,
asphalt glowing in its heat-induced mirage.
everything seeming off, distant,
everything somewhere else.

You could walk along the pavement,
feeling your feet echo upward from your
shoe-soles, watching the white-haired movement
of traffic, and almost remember
everything the world had ever thrown away.
Craig Verlin Feb 2014
Introspection is a hazardous
endeavor. If you pick too much
at the cracks in your character
you are likely to pull them apart
and underneath is everything
you hate about yourself, out in
the open now, rearing its ugly
head for all to witness. Yet here
I am, picking at the cracks. I am
pulling down the walls and I am
breaking all of the locks that bind
my character to the role that I have
played too well and too long. The
method acting needs an end. I am not
who I portray and I am not who I prefer,
but who I have grown to hate,
and that rotting of my person has become
a detriment not only to myself but to
all that are in contact with me. It is time
to cut the tree back down to the trunk
and get rid of the *******, the foliage
that covers up the bare, naked truth.
I am not who I pretend to be. I am not
who I prefer to be. I have twisted into
a creature that I hate, simply because you
hate and simply because you hurt. And
that is unacceptable. So the act must end,
and the man must begin, I am only scared
that if you hate the man underneath the act,
then there will be no other face to take the blame,
and nowhere else to hide.
But something's got to give.
Craig Verlin Feb 2013
there's a carnival
of all white
where the white
band plays
white noise
that soothes white ears
and white elephants
play small white trumpets
and eat small white peanuts
to the applause of a happy
white crowd
with bright white lights shining
down over us all
a young boy wins a white stuffed
animal from a game where white
rings are tossed on white bottles
--it appears to be
harder than it looks--
and a white wife tells a white lie
to her white husband
and white snow
carpets the white ground
and white footprints
from white shoes
and white hooves
make white tracks
like an amazing white
calligraphy across a white
easel
but if you
look closely at that
caked white snow
that falls
and carpets that white ground
you see stains of something
something not white
a snow tinged red
but you blink and it's gone
back to white
just illusions of color
spilled from some
war a long time ago
perhaps
and if you look hard you might see it
but no one looks hard
anymore
and why should they
those white elephants are so funny
with their white trunks and white ears
everything is great
everything is dandy
and everything is white
here at this white carnival
but for some reason
the snow
still seems a little
pink
to me
Craig Verlin Sep 2013
I was on the
down and outs
no money
no girl
and she was
empty as
my wallet
slightly crazed
with a cute face
and the *** was
loud
and distracting
for awhile
but it was empty
too

and I started to
wonder if
this was it
if this was where
all those valiant
dreams of chivalry
and white knights
ended up
in the back of
her two door volvo
pacing thrusts
with the radio

I got out of there quick
told her to find a nice
boy with a nice house
and a nice dog
told her to quit smoking
that pack a day
told her to go back to school
told her a hundred things
she never heard

so now I'm on the
down and out
with no money
no girl
and no ***

here's to chivalry
Craig Verlin Nov 2013
I heard some neighbors
down the hall
talking about how
morale is low
and rent is high
but it can't be all bad
with wine in
my glass
and women
in and out my door
it can't be all bad
when they burst with
such a beautiful thrill
their anger
their slammed doors
their clenched fists
it can't be all bad
when they keep
me up all
hours of the night
with echoes of
love I never felt

morale is low
and the rent is high
they said
and maybe they're right
--the rent sure has me
by the throat--
but the wine still pours
night after night
the women still come and
the women sure as hell
still go
but that's the beauty of it
you can't hold on
too long
no no no
never too long
just glimpses at
a time
and all you can
really do is
just pour another glass
because it can't be all bad
can it?
Craig Verlin Nov 2013
winter is coming again
feel it in the bones
as you light another cigarette
******* you should kick the habit
******* you should settle down
focus on your studies
and not on the vultures
that fly in and around you
trying to get warm in this cold air
can you see them circling now?
if only they weren't so tantalizing
if only they weren't so persistent
so keen on the feast
all bundled up in those cute
scarves and jackets and boots
how do you resist?
how do you resist these
eyes like razorblades
and talons
and teeth?
you don't
you let them tear
you apart with
every glance
with every smile
winter is coming
and everyone feels it
all you do is light
another cigarette
and try not to look up
Craig Verlin Aug 2013
with wine on white sheets
walk into the room
why is mommy asleep
on the floor
the yelling woke the
whole house but
He is nowhere to be found
the faucet is running
in the bath
but no one is in it
the water level approaches
overflow
but no one is in it
and He is nowhere to be found
don't be scared
don't be scared
chew on a thumb
go sleep with mommy
she knows what to do
in the morning she'll
make breakfast
and laugh
this bad joke
don't be scared
water spills over
on tile floors
don't be scared
don't be scared
with wine on white sheets
walked into the room
why won't mommy
wake up
Craig Verlin Jan 2013
you're sitting
on the other side
of the bed
watching me write
but we're worlds away
forever apart
it's sad
you hardly ever
look in my
direction
anymore
for fear
of something
maybe one of those
chemical
reactions
in your brain
I'm sure.
I'm sure.
one of those doors
that should be left shut
I'm sure.
I'm sure.
emotions
were never
your strong
suit
--mine either
I suppose--

you're sitting
on the other side
of the bed
but I can't even
reach out my hand
Craig Verlin Jan 2015
The neighbors are having a party.
Young women are seduced by young men
and the cycle of life has evolved into this
degradation of humanity in the 21st century.
I have taken a large part myself.
Now, however, I sit a room away
with this keyboard, a case of beer
and this pack of cigarettes,
bullying this keyboard as I
punch words out of thin air.

I would take my party over theirs any day.
Craig Verlin Sep 2014
I create poetry
by the car crashed juxtaposition
of thought and language.

I create poetry via metaphor,
metonymy, a slight wit.

I create poetry by the
beating and bastardization
of word until the line
breaks just right.
It never truly does.

You create poetry
in your every movement.

You create poetry in the
interaction and absolution
you carry within every waking
moment.

You create poetry only
by opening your beautiful
eyes each morning as
the sun rises eagerly
to see you.

You create poetry.

This, my pale
imitation.
Craig Verlin Jun 2013
The imagination is a terrible thing
When left to its own devices
Cruel and calculating
It flourishes in discontent
And swells to immensity
Awash in the madness of
The dark
I lay here
Two continents away
With rational thought
Deemed ineffective as you
Hold me close in fear's grip

You are the monster
Under the bed
I, the shaking child
Afraid to glance
For fear of fear's assertion
--Mutter prayers
Under closed eyes--
The mind wanders
Against better judgment
And in darkness
This imagination
Swells once again

Stay under the bed
Monster
Stay out of sight
You detestable
Delectable beast
Only with madness
Can you corrupt me
--Though I willingly
participate--
Already mad and
rotten to the core
Such emotion poured
Over shaky bones
And you
Devious beast
Play games with
Passing shadows
Keeping me on
Sanity's frail edge
Too afraid to stray
From comfort's reach
I can only watch
As you grin
With eager
Bloodstained smiles
And slip out of sight
Into endless darkness
Once again
Craig Verlin Apr 2016
Another gray, black-eye sunrise,
******* and insomniac,
awake as the earth spins again onward
into the mutable mass of gas and plasma.
How many of them must there be?
The number will rise up
into the trillions, they say,
as the top continues its turn;
dizzying now and incomprehensible.
The sun bigger and bigger
slowly each time, growing
until this small marble
is overtook by some
dystopian beachballl of fusion
and fission, blistering away with
such anger; imbalance.

Hungover, contemplating ends,
I think the bullet may be alright;
regarded as painless if aimed well.
Imagining split-second blitzkriegs
of neural discomfort prior
to blackness, I dismiss the thought.
The sun is up fully now, stretching.
Red giants, they say are cooler
than their white counterparts,
but larger.

All the fights, from the bar
to the battlefield.
All the love, from the brothel
to the bedroom.
All the life, progress, movement,
everything and nothing;
muted by colliding hydrogen particles
emitting heat.
Is it so terrible to be irrelevant?

— The End —