something slips from her handbag
as she crosses 5 lanes.

we went to the vista
in september.
and after we'd travelled the path
along the edge
Lorie stood to look at the view over the
mountains, and I bent down
to find the tiny iridescent snails
sleeping in the dust.

and we stayed for a day

and it fit us so.

today you wrapped your hands around my waist
long fingers over thumbs, your nails were red and
chipping at the tips
You called me pretty names for pretty things, but
I’m Sylvia P. today.
look in my hand
count the beads between your fingers, tell me again
how I found my name beneath a crackling bush.

it was sunday [i remember] and my god squeezed the earth
between her thighs, crushed out water
clouds sank, my eyes lost the hem of my dress.
old man with the bell gave me a
reddish smile, his face cracked
he say a penny for the poor does a soul good
I slipped one in my
back pocket then
patted it tight for a rainy day.
you talked much too much, voice floated through the fog
and I heard too much

I was wringing out tears from my dress
when it fell like a note ringing out
and spoke to me then
and I spent my penny on a life.
I bought my life beneath a crackling bush.
I walked with it, down streets and up streets
and the hours turned my skin black and
my nails chipped off but my life stayed,
it did.

beads one, two, three, it starts with an S
ends with a
choker. absence of breath.
in moments like this
your words on my neck reminds me I'm
still alive.

a penny's worth of string and beads and
my life was bought on the lord's day.

Been sitting on the floor
For all my life
They talk me up
But don't hide the knife
They say pray to their god
And he'll tell me to walk on the straight path
[Such a great path]

Tell me what's truth and what's lies
And I'll sympathize
With the youth
Tell me that all this is real
At least I might feel
Something there

I've been there and back two times
In this life
The final scene
But I've acted twice
I cry pray for me God
but the only thing for me is silence

I'm shouting out
Through the stone in my throat
That those angels of lore
Should carry my out —
Carry me out —
Darling carry me out and away —
Such a poor soul

Oh oh oh
Tell me what's truth and what's lies
And I'll sympathize
With the youth
Tell me that all this is real
At least I might feel
Something there

I'm looking to feel
Something there

Looking to feel —
Somthing there

she told me so many lies &
they were all so
beautiful like she was.
she told me
she didn't mind meeting behind the
woodshed in the hours before the sunrise &
after dusk, she didn't mind
passing her guy without a word for the day.
she told me so many beautiful lies &
i told them back with a kiss.

brown skin, cat eyes like those models &
she said she loved me, loved me true
through the window the door
leaves blew on the wind &
sticks rattled hollow against the wall of our shed &
we
forgot
in the moment of things.

miss those days, before pickets &
red-faced neighbors
before

well, you should have seen the headlines &
cat eyes are gone.

spent all last night cursing his name and
finally yours, when i'd gotten over pounding that
dent in my pillow, it's because
you're blind as a ******* bat and can't you see past that
nose of yours
i question you?
that night you languished in the dim light
of the all-night pizza shop, bragged about
all the cheerleaders you'd like to bang if
they'd actually date you
and i cried laughed watched your eyes
on the cracked red bench of the booth
we sat.

of course, it's because
you turned a clouded eye to me and when
he slammed words on his computer just for me,
i'm a *****, laughable he said, you never
looked and you never saw to stand from your
drunk rat stoop to say
a word for me

spent all last night grinding your
name into my pillow, you didn't know and
never will.

she liked sending her wishes
silently on the roof
of a passing car
cast out from a drifting line.
[she told me she's always believed in the green glass
bottles drifting on the tide]
I called her an oaken darling
something to hold to
[fast we did,
arms on arms and crossgrain]
her wood
tough when bent
She
Screamed
Only
one time.