I wasn't made for this world trying to make do isn't right putting an smile on my face that  I'm just another statistic in this forbidden fruit with no where to turn to I'm stuck in a hole filled with dirt 6 feet under away from earth I believe I am somewhat safe but never am I scared nor afraid. Another statistic in this world trying  to find her way out of this rewinding tape that plays the same each day I'm just another person put on this earth to change there ways but it will always be the same. I'm another lost soul in a never ending game.... I am the wind which u can't see but u still breath me. All that is deceiving I'm just another statistic put here to be someone I don't want to be just to fit into Society description of a beauty queen but that's not me Im just fit to be me and I can't be what the pictures want me to be. So I guess I'm not an statistic I am divergent in need.

.My expression on my face tells a lot of things I mean it defines me in anyway it tells you if I'm ****** or if I'm having a ok day my expression on my face describe my pain my emotion and what I'm feeling today but sometimes I hide those expression to show people I'm not stressing I can be smiling but inside I'm feeling violent........

Him: Imma stay
I've been told that one million times by men that have entered me
I won't hurt you he whispers to me so ******* gracefully
Right before he stabs me in my back
All I've tried to do was love but it seems as if my heart get heavier and it weigh down my chest and my soul becomes weaker
Him: Imma stay
he say as he kisses my lips and enters me filling me up with everything he has and the only thing he had to offer
Him: Imma stay
he said as he slowly stroked and choked and pushed and I set there as he ****** me but he had pleasure in the ***** he took
HIM: Imma stay
As he whispered in my ears you feel that and I whispering back where's the men in you
HIM: Imma stay
he whispers as he finishes
HIM: imma stay I won't leave you Imma stay
as his breath sits on my face
Him: Imma stay
ME: They never do

when I'm alone in my room I feel my body. and it feels untrue as my hand rubs it feels like glue. your body is a temple they say, treat it with respect..........What do you see when you look at me? do your eyes undress me. Do you wish your hand was ******* caressing me. What do you think you may feel when you rub your hands on  my body? what did you feel?  Did you like it? As you took the only thing I had of mine. Did you smile after you was done? feeling me and rubbing me. How did you feel? Because I felt pain and weak that when  I touch my body I feel dead inside............. So what do you feel? Or what did you feel? when you invaded my space and moved your hands alone my waist. Did you feel like a man ? A strong *** man?? Did you feel like  man when you not only undressed me with your eyes but with your hands

Can you walk across this  bridge  with me hold my hand and help me Thur because I don't think I'm go make it Thur the day with no one by my side I tried not to cry and hold it in and stand strong and cover up what's inside I can't anymore I have to cry being strong just won't cut it holding on I'm getting weak so I'm going to fall I feel like  Humpty dumpy all my  pieces are gone broken up all over the  ground  I'm sorry im not good enough for this roll but can you walk across the bridge with me hold my and watch me sleep then leave me at peace....

I loved you from the very first time I actually laid eyes on you I know it's kind of weird cause I just met you but don't you believe in love at first sight or look or glaze I do I mean I have to believe in something so why can't it be you

you are the parasite that lives in my heart that killed my soul and made these scars
Am I mean for saying that telling you how u feel means talking back
I don't understand because maybe I'm to young no I understand perfectly it's just your two dumb
I'm sorry that totally came out wrong
You are my mom and I have to respect that and listen and say yes  ma'am and shut my trap yes  
Ma'am can I have 2 headphones on you say no because I have to know what going on I'm sorry ma'am am I wrong did you want ice in your water did I pour it wrong fill it to the top put  a lot of ice in my cup just the way you like it ma'am I'll be right back with that **** that cuz I  sound like a slave get **** for my master and me getting beat and trying to hind all these dame scars on my back so
Am I to mean for saying that do I get punished for speaking back sorry Ma'am I honestly didn't hear that

When I have a pen and a Piece of paper I write  what I feel and everything is real the only time I'm real with myself is when I'm writing on that thin blue line .....I tell a story with no ending because when I start there's always a new beginning I feel at peace when I write about how my day is going so far I feel free that I can say anything and that one piece of paper can change the world well my world my fairy tale when you write you can write for years when your speak what you feel it only takes a second because all of it isn't real that's why people write letters because it can go on and on into you feel as if your pen ran out of ink or your mind already said everything when I have a pen and a piece of paper I write about the world and the dragons I saw in my sleep I write about the stars and how many I saw that night I write about the smiles on people  faces and also the frowns.....I write about the weather and how it changed my day and I write my one true love and how he's going to be here some day I write about the sun and how it shines when the rain seems to be still hitting the ground I write about how I would like to look or wish I looked like I write my emotions and that's hard to do I write about my friend in the mirror who scars me to death and who hurts my ears because all the **** crying she does .........when I  have my pen and paper I write an never ending story

Give me a reason to leave
And open that door and walk away
Give me a reason to say bye to the days
Give me a reason to cry because I've been crying all day
Give me a reason to hate you cuz all I can do is love you and I don't think anything you say can keep me away
So give me a reason to leave but
I just want to say one thing
I LOVE YOU anyway

When I'm alone in my room I feel my body as it feels untrue as my hand rub it feels like glue my body is a temple they say treat it with respect.... what do you see when you look at me do your eyes undress me do you wish your hand was caressing me what do you think you may feel when you rub your hands on my body. what did you feel? did you like it? as you took the only thing I had of mine did you smile after you was done feeling me and rubbing me how did you feel cuz I felt pain and weak that when I touch my body I feel dead .... so what do you feel or what did you feel when u invaded my space and moved your hands along my waist did you feel like a man a strong man did you feel like a man when you not only undressed me with your eyes but with your hands

My heart  is undefined .it's a mysterious puzzle pieces it's an mystery unsolved my life is an maze an dead end worth fighting getting out of but always end up n the same place so I run it seem as if I've been running for years but end up where I first began In a place full of mirrors showing my faith my true identity my secret ...............I am an turtle lost at sea I'm the sea which people keep throwing waste n me........... I'm the definition of pain .I'm an example of an bad mistake .I'm an lesson not learned................. So  I stay quiet an unseen. I hide behind an mask just fit for me I laugh when I want to cry just to show those who see the fake of me I'm worth  being so lie about who I am just to show society I'm fit for the screen of  who they expect me to be. Society  leaves me cut deep bleeding to death to where I think I see the real me but society has an hold over me which always brings me back 2 the beginning of an horrible ending

For a moment I thought everything was gone I wasn't here and I was flying but everything got heavy my shoulders felt as if rocks was holding them down and my heart beating fast but everything else was moving slow..... for a moment I felt at peace and free!! I laughed and giggled but I new it was gonna  leave I stopped and stared only to find peace... for that moment I felt free lifted from all problems and happy. for a moment I didn't care about who I was and how I got there but the place I was at was unbelievable New!...... for a moment I thought everything was gone but it was the beginning of something big and my first **** EXPERIENCE!

Can I write my wrongs in bold print written down on a sheet of paper I could barely hold in my fist my words I speak often slur with a twist.......... My words has been written on a white sheet of paper with blue lines telling the truth from the lies. I'm ashamed I have cut myself deep but none can see the scars I bleed.. I have torn my soul out an left it on the corner of our street hoping that you or someone would realize that's me an take my soul safely locked away with a key to keep safe from me . I have lied to myself that I am worthy . I've done so many things I can bare to speak but my soul is still lost at sea at the corner of our street waiting for you or someone to discover me. So can I write my wrongs in bold print written down on a sheet of paper I could barely fit in my fist