Boredom shatters a fragile mind
Longing, searching, it will not find
Something to capture its wandering soul
These broken pieces won't become whole
Floating on a sea of indifferent waves
Thoughts will not be chained, will not be slaves
Sinking, drowning, darkness sets in
And though this lethargy I can not defend
I succumb to its spell again,
                                    and again,
                                                         and again.

Like a scar from the past
You're beautiful when healed
Skin knitting fast
Once blood has congealed
Is this what you wanted to reveal?
How you think, who you are, what you feel?
And do you love me still?

To the east follow me
To a growing elmwood tree
In the branches lie in wait
Until they crack the garden gate
When they're gone creep inside
Until the wild wind will abide
Rest awhile by the stair
A lulling sleep will keep you there
Time will creep beyond your dream
Until your worth they do deem
When you wake, leaves in hair
You'll find the garden gate in disrepair
Jump the fence and cross the land
Til it meets the sea, hand in hand
Greet the tide and greet the gull
There you'll find what they stole

The years have gone by, one by one
So much has been said, has been done
So much has hurt and so much has glowed
There's so much I've felt for you and told
So much has shifted, so much has changed
So many times, in love then estranged
But here we are, here I sit still
Looking to find more holes to fill

All the faces in the trees
They talk to me
They tell me things
I already know
But they won't tell me
Won't tell me
Won't tell me where to go

And, oh, I know
It's worse before it's better
It's worse than ever
And I don't know where to go
And so, and so, and so,

I'll try to pull this together
But I'm ****** if I do,
I'm ****** if I don't
You can chase me through these years
But I won't let you take me
I won't, I won't, I won't

My direction is lost, my focus is gone
This is going all so very wrong
I am blind, I am mute
I've got the gun, but no one to shoot
Hand me my noose
The screws are getting loose

And when loneliness steals
All I've ever known
When I've forgotten it all
When I've never grown
I stand there, stand there
I stand there, I'm all alone

And, oh, I know
It's worse before it's better
It's worse than ever
And I don't know where to go
And so, and so, and so,

Into the dark, into the ground
That is where I want to be found
Hand me my noose
And I'll look for an excuse
To lay myself down
For this is the season
Of my own worst treason
I need you….to say

"Oh, darling, I know
It's worse before it's better
It's worse than ever
But one day you'll know
On day I'll show you
Where to go
And so, and so, and so

Hand me your noose
And we'll call this a truce
Step back from the edge
Step down from that ledge
Drop the shovel, drop the gun
I promise you, I'll be the one.

And so, and so, and so
Don't leave me, don't go
I'll always love, you,
This you know."
And so…

Hand me my pen
Hand me my brush
I'll put this all out on paper
I'll go slow, I won't rush
I'll find my way through this maze
I'll find my way through this haze
It's been worse, worse than ever
But I'm finally ready to get better.

An invisible man sits on the corner street
Where busy shoes meet and greet
Soundless words fall from his lips,
Cold wind bites blistered fingertips
There is no story, he has no face
Eyes averted, quickened pace
He's not like you, this grimy man
He's got no future, got no plan
He's got no past, he's got no home
Just rests his head on brick and stone

Oh, how I love you, Insomnia, my sweet
How I sit and listen to every beat
Of my hollow heart in this darkest night
Waiting to be kissed by morning's light

Oh, how I love you, Paranoia, dear
How you make every noise so crystal clear
Until sleep is most assuredly out of reach
Not a wink, not a moment will it ever breach

Oh, how I love you, my ****** up mind
How you taunt me, torture me, love to remind
Of years gone past, of days ill spent
Of sorrow, of loss, of this slow descent

I wish August was tomorrow
A month was long ago
I'd have you here beside me
No one'd have to know
With paper streamers blowin
In a somber wind
As I held you, loved you
Once and once again
I wish August was tomorrow
And December'd never been

Inside my mind
there's a raven-headed man.
He stands aside a cage
where my soul once ran.
She thrashes against the bars.
"Oh, please set me free!"
I'd like to let her go,
but I know she's not me.
Her face is bashed in.
Blood covers the floor.
The raven-headed man only watches
as her fingers grow sore,
for she scratches so
at her hollow chest.
Her tears fill the chasm,
but it's in mockery, in jest.
She has no heart.
She can not feel.
These are only my emotions
which she steals.
So, I watch her scream
until her throat bleeds dry.
And the raven-headed man takes wing,
leaving us to wonder why.

Blue birds and a paisley massacre
Monsters, cards, and dice
I thought the world was made of fire
But your eyes were made of ice
I drowned myself within their pools
Never thinking twice
I thought the world would end in fire
Oh, you put it out so nice

I am we
Our name is me
Time and again
He laughs and we sin
She cries and we bleed
They beg and I plead
"Look at me!"
Look at we.
We hurt and I seethe
Drown in jealousy
He loves, we hate
She twitches, I'm too late
We're long gone, he's on the line
She's broken, we're fine, we're fine
I am me
Our name is we

There's a seed of hatred buried within
It's filled with rage, soaked in sin
It begins to grow, bursts into a tree
Filling every empty inch of me
It fills the heart, bursts the lungs
From these trees you'll be strung
When this rage has reached its peak
No solace you'll find, death you'll seek
My helping hand, will provide escape
Your limbs I'll bind, your mouth I'll tape
Your silhouette dangles in the setting sun
And at last this ***** deed is done

Laugh through my tears,
Struggle through the years,
This is what it means
To have the Irish in me.
My prayers fall on deafened ears.
Godless is the Irish in me.

Self defeating mind,
Always two steps behind,
This is what it means
To have the Irish in me.
In this bottle I will find,
Drunk is the Irish in me.

Cut my nose off in spite.
I have every right.
This is what it means
To have the Irish in me.
Never am I ever contrite
Rebel is the Irish in me.

Desolate my heart,
Mind full of art,
This is what it means
To have the Irish in me.
I've no idea where to start.
Hopeless is the Irish in me.

The luck fails
And poverty prevails.
This is what it means
To have the Irish in me.
Tough as nails
These Irish genes.

....**** this Irish in me....

I awoke this morning to a somber fact

I am not alive.

As every other day I went about my way, working to keep you alive. I fought the same fight, for your honor, for your right. Yet I am not alive.

I came home unaware there was no one there and kept the company of a friend we once shared. Who would not question "Are you still alive?" I sat before his glowing eyes, I bought his stories, his fancies, his lies.

He did not care I wasn't alive.

I've no need to eat when I'm in his care. There is nothing he asks, no reason to share. But I've more work tomorrow to keep you alive. So I retreat to my cave without bother to bathe and crawl into bed by your side. But the place where you slept is cold and unkept.

My God. You're not alive.

**** me, **** me,
I'd rather not live
In a world where we take
But we never give
We never think of others,
We're blind, and we're mute
Our evils never
Trace back to the root
Silence, it's this silence
that kills us in time
We wallow in, revel in,
We embrace this crime

I wear such a pretty mask
But I'm a monster deep inside
If you only, only ask
I'll lift, lift, set it aside

I trust you, dear,
With all my heart
Hold my darkness near
This is where we start

Dig your fingers deep,
Dig into my soul
What you find, you can keep
I don't want to be whole

So, when you depart
Leave nothing behind
But my empty heart
And tears I can't find

I'm in the way
Though you won't say
And time and again
I nod and I grin
All the while knowing,
All the signs showing,
I should walk away
Hold my tongue, don't say,
"Why am I always in the way?"

In the sun and in the rain
In loneliness, in pain
In laughter and in joy
When life creates, when it destroys
When you're alone in a crowd
Silent though you scream out loud
When you break cause you can't bend
I will always be your friend.

If you think I am perfect
You are sorely mistaken
And if you think I am flawless
I am surely forsaken

I am covered in scars
From wars waged by the mind
I am filled with tears
That no eyes could ever find

So, if you think I am ideal
So kind, so beautiful, and smart
I will be quick to remind you
That I have an empty heart

That I am only a little girl
Made of flesh and bone
I am only a little girl
Who is scared of being alone.

In this heart a flame burns
There is something for which it yearns
It is not you, it is not me
I yearn solely for the "we"

If this flame should die
It will extinguish with a sigh.
And I will be left empty
Alone without the "we"
In you and I.

"I am who I am. Before this jury I stand.
I think therefore I am. I am something great – something grand.
If you are you and I am me
Why, then, can you not see?
That I am who I am; I can not change.
I can only be so odd, so strange
As you are to me.

Alas, who is that hanging from that tree?"

I met you in a dream
Years and years ago.
And I lost you when I woke,
But, then again, and though….
Did I ever have you?
Will I ever know,
Why or how or who
I met, years and years ago?